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and have a lot of men friends because I am considered attractive, but none of them have ever said one word out of the way to me except this one and I yielded to the tempter. I know I have done wrong, and now am trying to atone for it by being awfully good. Now, what I want to know and want you to tell me is this, 'Can I ever marry a decent, respectable man without him knowing of this affair?' There is a young man very much devoted to me (and I can assure you it is mutual) who several times has asked me to marry him. I am afraid to give him an answer. I cannot ask anyone else this question for the simple reason that I am not sure whether they will tell me the truth or whether they really know."

Both these girls were fortunate that they did not have any serious consequences from their mis-step. Too many girls make only one mis-step and as a result become pregnant or else contract one of the black plagues. This week I have received several such letters. Laying aside all moral points, it is too much risk for any girl to run.

Unfortunately a great many girls in their ignorance do make a mis-step. That is no reason why they should not marry. We must take into consideration the fact that the young man in question probably has made several of these mis-steps. He should not expect his prospective wife to be any stronger to resist temptation than he has been. If this were an ideal world, all men, as well as all women, would be pure, but until the millennium comes we must take things as they are, and proceed from that standpoint. But because a girl has erred through ignorance is no reason why she should be doomed to everlasting punishment in the shape of social ostracism or being denied the happiness of having a home and children.

These are only a few of the many letters I have received, but they serve to show the great need of early instruction of girls on these much neglected subjects. Every girl, soon after she enters school if not before, learns where babies come from. She too often is led by older children, both boys and girls, to do things she may regret later. It has been said that "sin is but ignorance." This is true in the great majority of cases of immoral practices among girls as well as among boys. The remedy for these sins, then, is to do away with the ignorance by proper instruction of children. Children are reasonable beings and if they understood the why would not do wrong.

If girls go wrong through ignorance the parents are to blame; for at the present time there is no excuse for a parent not giving the necessary instruction. If, on account of her own lack of knowledge, the mother feels incapable of instructing her daughter, there are others ready and willing to aid her; also, there are books especially prepared for her help, which will definitely point the way.

CHAPTER XV WHY GIRLS GO ASTRAY

Not long ago an estimable young woman in speaking of the unfortunate girls in the world said, "I cannot see how any refined girl could get into trouble. I cannot conceive of any circumstances which would permit any self-respecting girl to allow the familiarities necessary for such a condition." That is the attitude assumed by many intelligent women. Because they grew up in an environment without temptations, because they had no unsatisfied longings to be loved or to be popular, they are incapable of understanding these feelings in any other person.

In every girl there is an inborn longing to be loved and to have a home of her own. It is a misunderstanding of this sense that is responsible for the wrecked lives of many girls. In too many homes there is no expression of the love sense. Frequently I have heard girls remark, "Why, I never think of kissing my parents except, perhaps, when they or I go away." In too many homes the only mention that is made of love is that made in a bantering manner. A child has the right idea of love. She loves everyone and is free in the expression of this love. As she grows older she obtains wrong ideas of love and she too often obtains these wrong ideas in her own home and from her own parents who instill false ideas of love when indulging their habit of "teasing." Frequently we hear parents talking about the small daughter's "beau." The child feels pent-up emotions of love and, as there is no outlet at home in a natural way, she acquires the idea that these emotions should be spent in a childish love affair.

In a recent address Professor Marx Lubine of the University of Berlin said, "Motherhood, in all stages of civilization, has been strangely ignorant of the fact that girls have as powerful a battery of emotions as boys. It is my experience that a major portion of mothers understand their sons better than their daughters. Why? The daughters are not given credit for a power of emotion the sons are capable of. Yet, naturally, in my long experience with both sexes, I have no hesitation in saying that the emotions of a pure girl are usually deeper, more lasting, than those of a boy, and that if we are to have a great improvement in womanhood it must come through a recognition of this fact."

It is strange but mothers seem to be blind to, or ignorant of the emotions that are seething back of the clear eyes of their daughters. The emotions of the girl have not been studied sufficiently. We expect a boy to do things which serve as an outlet to his pent-up emotions but we expect a girl to go on in a calm, uneventful manner with no outlet for the overflow of emotions. Blessed are the "Tomboys." I would there were more of them. It is a fact that the girl who runs, plays, climbs trees and is given to outdoor sports generally during the early part of her life develops into the truest woman. She has an outlet for her energies. Her time is fully occupied with those things that promote health. She has no time nor desires for those things that show a perverted taste. Such a girl seldom becomes a victim of self-abuse. She is not inclined to romantic love affairs. It is her sister who sits and sews who has time and inclination for indulging in morbid longings and who becomes the victim of pernicious habits.

Curiosity is one of the prominent characteristics of both sexes. With the boy this is satisfied without much pretence at secrecy. False modesty prevents the girl from openly obtaining the desired information. She obtains it secretly from her companions. Mothers do not give their daughters credit for the instinct that compels the satisfaction of their curiosity. Sometime during her life, nearly every mother is surprised and shocked at the knowledge displayed by her daughter. She finds that owing to her silence and neglect of opportunities her daughter has obtained definite if entirely wrong ideas of sexual matters.

In other matters, too, the policy of silence or of arbitrarily forbidding the daughter to indulge in certain pleasures, coupled with the natural curiosity of the girl, tends to develop in her the habit of deceitfulness. If she is forbidden some harmless amusements she very frequently learns these diversions at the homes of her friends. The mother was brought up in one generation, the daughter in another; what was considered wrong in the first generation is looked upon in an entirely different manner now. Many mothers seem to be unable to realize this. They were brought up in a puritanical environment. The puritan fathers forbade all indulgence in mirth and happiness. Their ideas of the perfect life were to wear a stern, unsmiling countenance and do those things that were unpleasant. If anything was uncongenial, then it was their duty to overcome their inclinations. These puritans expected to develop by repression. We have changed our ideas radically since then, but some of the puritanical ideas still cling to us in our treatment of children. To develop the child's character she must be made to do the things she does not want to do and to refrain from the things she most desires. Is it right?

We are most interested in those things that belong to us individually or in which we have some share. If we wish a girl to remain at home then we must see that she is interested in that home. The way to do this is to make her feel that the home belongs to her in part and that some portions of it are entirely hers. The majority of girls feel no real interest in their homes. They are made to feel that it is their parents' home and that they are only assistants. A girl to be interested in her home must have some definite room that is hers alone and in which she is allowed to exercise her individual tastes. She must have a place in which she can entertain her friends without the feeling that whatever she does and says is to be criticised afterwards. She should be assigned to certain tasks and held responsible for them. She must have a certain definite allowance out of which she is to buy certain things, otherwise her desire for independence will arise and cause her to leave home. The majority of girls have no income of their own. Perhaps their desires are all fulfilled by an indulgent parent and yet the girls resent the feeling of dependence.

Girls are naturally just as ambitious as boys, and they need good, honest work to keep them healthy and their minds occupied. If a girl displays an interest in a certain line of work this interest must be encouraged. Usually it is not. The girl is taught, either consciously or unconsciously, that whatever occupation she takes up will be only temporary, that to become engrossed in her work would mean no marriage. Girls cannot do good work under such conditions.

CHAPTER XVI SELF-ABUSE

In one of my articles for one of the leading women's magazines I spoke of mental self-abuse. This brought me so many inquiries regarding both mental and physical self-abuse that I feel impelled to explain them to you.

To abuse means to use wrongly, or to injure. We have talked about the uses of the female organs and also about the care of them. Sometimes, I have watched children rub their eyes until they were quite red and inflamed. I have seen children, thoughtlessly, stick pins and hairpins in their ears and I even have had to remove a bean which a thoughtless child had pushed up its nose. All these things did more or less harm to the parts. In the same way, some girls play with their external generative organs and even put things up in the vagina. Sometimes they injure these organs greatly, and sometimes there is a more general and serious effect. You know the nerves of the body all are very closely connected like telegraph wires so that an irritation to one part will sometimes be telegraphed to another entirely different part and cause the nerves of that part to be irritated. When you have a toothache your whole face and head and even your arms ache. That is because the nerves are irritated. In the same way if one irritates the nerves of the female organs, the whole body may be affected; only in this

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