The History Of The Life Of The Late Mr. Jonathan Wild The Great(Fiscle Part 3) by Henry Fielding (best books to read for young adults txt) 📖
- Author: Henry Fielding
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Of Hats.
Wild Had Now Got Together A Very Considerable Gang, Composed Of
Undone Gamesters, Ruined Bailiffs, Broken Tradesmen, Idle
Apprentices, Attorneys' Clerks, And Loose And Disorderly Youth,
Who, Being Born To No Fortune, Nor Bred To Any Trade Or
Profession, Were Willing To Live Luxuriously Without Labour. As
These Persons Wore Different Principles, I.E. Hats, Frequent
Book 2 Chapter 6 Pg 66Dissensions Grew Among Them. There Were Particularly Two Parties,
Viz., Those Who Wore Hats Fiercely Cocked, And Those Who Preferred
The Nab Or Trencher Hat, With The Brim Flapping Over Their Eyes.
The Former Were Called Cavaliers And Tory Rory Ranter Boys, &C.;
The Latter Went By The Several Names Of Wags, Roundheads,
Shakebags, Old-Nolls, And Several Others. Between These, Continual
Jars Arose, Insomuch That They Grew In Time To Think There Was
Something Essential In Their Differences, And That Their Interests
Were Incompatible With Each Other, Whereas, In Truth, The
Difference Lay Only In The Fashion Of Their Hats. Wild, Therefore,
Having Assembled Them All At An Alehouse On The Night After
Fierce's Execution, And, Perceiving Evident Marks Of Their
Misunderstanding, From Their Behaviour To Each Other, Addressed
Them In The Following Gentle, But Forcible Manner: [Footnote:
There Is Something Very Mysterious In This Speech, Which Probably
That Chapter Written By Aristotle On This Subject, Which Is
Mentioned By A French Author, Might Have Given Some Light Into;
But That Is Unhappily Among The Lost Works Of That Philosopher. It
Is Remarkable That Galerus, Which Is Latin For A Hat, Signifies
Likewise A Dog-Fish, As The Greek Word Kuneae Doth The Skin Of
That Animal; Of Which I Suppose The Hats Or Helmets Of The
Ancients Were Composed, As Ours At Present Are Of The Beaver Or
Rabbit. Sophocles, In The Latter End Of His Ajax, Alludes To A
Method Of Cheating In Hats, And The Scholiast On The Place Tells
Us Of One Crephontes, Who Was A Master Of The Art. It Is
Observable Likewise That Achilles, In The First Iliad Of Homer,
Tells Agamemnon, In Anger, That He Had Dog's Eyes. Now, As The
Eyes Of A Dog Are Handsomer Than Those Of Almost Any Other Animal,
This Could Be No Term Of Reproach. He Must Therefore Mean That He
Had A Hat On, Which, Perhaps, From The Creature It Was Made Of, Or
From Some Other Reason, Might Have Been A Mark Of Infamy. This
Superstitious Opinion May Account For That Custom, Which Hath
Descended Through All Nations, Of Shewing Respect By Pulling Off
This Covering, And That No Man Is Esteemed Fit To Converse With
His Superiors With It On. I Shall Conclude This Learned Note With
Remarking That The Term Old Hat Is At Present Used By The Vulgar
In No Very Honourable Sense.]--"Gentlemen, I Am Ashamed To See Men
Embarked In So Great And Glorious An Undertaking, As That Of
Robbing The Public, So Foolishly And Weakly Dissenting Among
Themselves. Do You Think The First Inventors Of Hats, Or At Least
Of The Distinctions Between Them, Really Conceived That One Form
Of Hats Should Inspire A Man With Divinity, Another With Law,
Another With Learning, Or Another With Bravery? No, They Meant No
More By These Outward Signs Than To Impose On The Vulgar, And,
Instead Of Putting Great Men To The Trouble Of Acquiring Or
Maintaining The Substance, To Make It Sufficient That They
Condescend To Wear The Type Or Shadow Of It. You Do Wisely,
Therefore, When In A Crowd, To Amuse The Mob By Quarrels On Such
Accounts, That While They Are Listening To Your Jargon You May
With The Greater Ease And Safety Pick Their Pockets: But Surely To
Be In Earnest, And Privately To Keep Up Such A Ridiculous
Contention Among Yourselves, Must Argue The Highest Folly And
Absurdity. When You Know You Are All Prigs, What Difference Can A
Broad Or A Narrow Brim Create? Is A Prig Less A Prig In One Hat
Book 2 Chapter 6 Pg 67Than In Another? If The Public Should Be Weak Enough To Interest
Themselves In Your Quarrels, And To Prefer One Pack To The Other,
While Both Are Aiming At Their Purses, It Is Your Business To
Laugh At, Not Imitate Their Folly. What Can Be More Ridiculous
Than For Gentlemen To Quarrel About Hats, When There Is Not One
Among You Whose Hat Is Worth A Farthing? What Is The Use Of A Hat
Farther Than To Keep The Head Warm, Or To Hide A Bald Crown From
The Public? It Is The Mark Of A Gentleman To Move His Hat On Every
Occasion; And In Courts And Noble Assemblies No Man Ever Wears
One. Let Me Hear No More Therefore Of This Childish Disagreement,
But All Toss Up Your Hats Together With One Accord, And Consider
That Hat As The Best, Which Will Contain The Largest Booty." He
Thus Ended His Speech, Which Was Followed By A Murmuring Applause,
And Immediately All Present Tossed Their Hats Together As He Had
Commanded Them.
Book 2 Chapter 7 Pg 68
Shewing The Consequence Which Attended Heartfree's Adventures With
Wild; All Natural And Common Enough To Little Wretches Who Deal
With Great Men; Together With Some Precedents Of Letters, Being
The Different Methods Of Answering A Dun.
Let Us Now Return To Heartfree, To Whom The Count's Note, Which He
Had Paid Away, Was Returned, With An Account That The Drawer Was
Not To Be Found, And That, On Enquiring After Him, They Had Heard
He Had Run Away, And Consequently The Money Was Now Demanded Of
The Endorser. The Apprehension Of Such A Loss Would Have Affected
Any Man Of Business, But Much More One Whose Unavoidable Ruin It
Must Prove. He Expressed So Much Concern And Confusion On This
Occasion, That The Proprietor Of The Note Was Frightened, And
Resolved To Lose No Time In Securing What He Could. So That In The
Afternoon Of The Same Day Mr. Snap Was Commissioned To Pay
Heartfree A Visit, Which He Did With His Usual Formality, And
Conveyed Him To His Own House.
Mrs. Heartfree Was No Sooner Informed Of What Had Happened To Her
Husband Than She Raved Like One Distracted; But After She Had
Vented The First Agonies Of Her Passion In Tears And Lamentations
She Applied Herself To All Possible Means To Procure Her Husband's
Liberty. She Hastened To Beg Her Neighbours To Secure Bail For
Him. But, As The News Had Arrived At Their Houses Before Her, She
Found None Of Them At Home, Except An Honest Quaker, Whose
Servants Durst Not Tell A Lie. However, She Succeeded No Better
With Him, For Unluckily He Had Made An Affirmation The Day Before
That He Would Never Be Bail For Any Man. After Many Fruitless
Efforts Of This Kind She Repaired To Her Husband, To Comfort Him
At Least With Her Presence. She Found Him Sealing The Last Of
Several Letters, Which He Was Despatching To His Friends And
Creditors. The Moment He Saw Her A Sudden Joy Sparkled In His
Eyes, Which, However, Had A Very Short Duration; For Despair Soon
Closed Them Again; Nor Could He Help Bursting Into Some Passionate
Expressions Of Concern For Her And His Little Family, Which She,
On Her Part, Did Her Utmost To Lessen, By Endeavouring To Mitigate
The Loss, And To Raise In Him Hopes From The Count, Who Might, She
Said, Be Possibly Only Gone Into The Country. She Comforted Him
Likewise With The Expectation Of Favour From His Acquaintance,
Especially From Those Whom He Had In A Particular Manner Obliged
And Served. Lastly, She Conjured Him, By All The Value And Esteem
He Professed For Her, Not To Endanger His Health, On Which Alone
Depended Her Happiness, By Too Great An Indulgence Of Grief;
Assuring Him That No State Of Life Could Appear Unhappy To Her
With Him, Unless His Own Sorrow Or Discontent Made It So.
In This Manner Did This Weak Poor-Spirited Woman Attempt To
Relieve Her Husband's Pains, Which It Would Have Rather Become Her
To Aggravate, By Not Only Painting Out His Misery In The Liveliest
Colours Imaginable, But By Upbraiding Him With That Folly And
Confidence Which Had Occasioned It, And By Lamenting Her Own Hard
Fate In Being Obliged To Share His Sufferings.
Heartfree Returned This Goodness (As It Is Called) Of His Wife
With The Warmest Gratitude, And They Passed An Hour In A Scene Of
Tenderness Too Low And Contemptible To Be Recounted To Our Great
Readers. We Shall Therefore Omit All Such Relations, As They Tend
Only To Make Human Nature Low And Ridiculous.
Those Messengers Who Had Obtained Any Answers To His Letters Now
Returned. We Shall Here Copy A Few Of Them, As They May Serve For
Precedents To Others Who Have An Occasion, Which Happens Commonly
Enough In Genteel Life, To Answer The Impertinence Of A Dun.
Letter I.---
Mr. Heartfree,--My Lord Commands Me To Tell You He Is Very Much
Surprized At Your Assurance In Asking For Money Which You Know
Hath Been So Little While Due; However, As He Intends To Deal No
Longer At Your Shop, He Hath Ordered Me To Pay You As Soon As I
Shall Have Cash In Hand, Which, Considering Many Disbursements For
Bills Long Due, &C., Can't Possibly Promise Any Time, &C., At
Present. And Am Your Humble Servant,
Roger Morcraft.
Book 2 Chapter 7 Pg 69
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