The Writings of Abraham Lincoln, vol 1 by Abraham Lincoln (best adventure books to read TXT) đ
- Author: Abraham Lincoln
- Performer: -
Book online «The Writings of Abraham Lincoln, vol 1 by Abraham Lincoln (best adventure books to read TXT) đ». Author Abraham Lincoln
âLoss! damnation!â says he. âI defy Daniel Webster, I defy King Solomon, I defy the worldâI defyâI defyâyes, I defy even you, Aunt âBecca, to show how the people can lose anything by paying their taxes in State paper.â
âWell,â says I, âyou see what the officers of State say about it, and they are a desarninâ set of men. But,â says I, âI guess you âre mistaken about what the proclamation says. It donât say the people will lose anything by the paper money being taken for taxes. It only says âthere will be danger of lossâ; and though it is tolerable plain that the people canât lose by paying their taxes in something they can get easier than silver, instead of having to pay silver; and though itâs just as plain that the State canât lose by taking State Bank paper, however low it may be, while she owes the bank more than the whole revenue, and can pay that paper over on her debt, dollar for dollar;âstill there is danger of loss to the âofficers of Stateâ; and you know, Jeff, we canât get along without officers of State.â
âDamn officers of State!â says he; âthatâs what Whigs are always hurrahing for.â
âNow, donât swear so, Jeff,â says I, âyou know I belong to the meetinâ, and swearinâ hurts my feelings.â
âBeg pardon, Aunt âBecca,â says he; âbut I do say itâs enough to make Dr. Goddard swear, to have tax to pay in silver, for nothing only that Ford may get his two thousand a year, and Shields his twenty-four hundred a year, and Carpenter his sixteen hundred a year, and all without âdanger of lossâ by taking it in State paper. Yes, yes: itâs plain enough now what these officers of State mean by âdanger of loss.â Wash, I sâpose, actually lost fifteen hundred dollars out of the three thousand that two of these âofficers of Stateâ let him steal from the treasury, by being compelled to take it in State paper. Wonder if we donât have a proclamation before long, commanding us to make up this loss to Wash in silver.â
And so he went on till his breath run out, and he had to stop. I couldnât think of anything to say just then, and so I begun to look over the paper again. âAy! hereâs another proclamation, or something like it.â
âAnother?â says Jeff; âand whose egg is it, pray?â
I looked to the bottom of it, and read aloud, âYour obedient servant, James Shields, Auditor.â
âAha!â says Jeff, âone of them same three fellows again. Well read it, and letâs hear what of it.â
I read on till I came to where it says, âThe object of this measure is to suspend the collection of the revenue for the current year.â
âNow stop, now stop!â says he; âthatâs a lie aâready, and I donât want to hear of it.â
âOh, maybe not,â says I.
âI say it-is-a-lie. Suspend the collection, indeed! Will the collectors, that have taken their oaths to make the collection, dare to end it? Is there anything in law requiring them to perjure themselves at the bidding of James Shields?
âWill the greedy gullet of the penitentiary be satisfied with swallowing him instead of all of them, if they should venture to obey him? And would he not discover some âdanger of loss,â and be off about the time it came to taking their places?
âAnd suppose the people attempt to suspend, by refusing to pay; what then? The collectors would just jerk up their horses and cows, and the like, and sell them to the highest bidder for silver in hand, without valuation or redemption. Why, Shields didnât believe that story himself; it was never meant for the truth. If it was true, why was it not writ till five days after the proclamation? Why did nât Carlin and Carpenter sign it as well as Shields? Answer me that, Aunt âBecca. I say itâs a lie, and not a well told one at that. It grins out like a copper dollar. Shields is a fool as well as a liar. With him truth is out of the question; and as for getting a good, bright, passable lie out of him, you might as well try to strike fire from a cake of tallow. I stick to it, itâs all an infernal Whig lie!â
âA Whig lie! Highty tighty!â
âYes, a Whig lie; and itâs just like everything the cursed British Whigs do. First theyâll do some divilment, and then theyâll tell a lie to hide it. And they donât care how plain a lie it is; they think they can cram any sort of a one down the throats of the ignorant Locofocos, as they call the Democrats.â
âWhy, Jeff, you âre crazy: you donât mean to say Shields is a Whig!â
âYes, I do.â
âWhy, look here! the proclamation is in your own Democratic paper, as you call it.â
âI know it; and what of that? They only printed it to let us Democrats see the deviltry the Whigs are at.â
âWell, but Shields is the auditor of this LocoâI mean this Democratic State.â
âSo he is, and Tyler appointed him to office.â
âTyler appointed him?â
âYes (if you must chaw it over), Tyler appointed him; or, if it was nât him, it was old Granny Harrison, and thatâs all one. I tell you, Aunt âBecca, thereâs no mistake about his being a Whig.
Why, his very looks shows it; everything about him shows it: if I was deaf and blind, I could tell him by the smell. I seed him when I was down in Springfield last winter. They had a sort of a gatherinâ there one night among the grandees, they called a fair.
All the gals about town was there, and all the handsome widows and married women, finickinâ about trying to look like gals, tied as tight in the middle, and puffed out at both ends, like bundles of fodder that had nât been stacked yet, but wanted stackinâ
pretty bad. And then they had tables all around the house kivered over with [ââ] caps and pincushions and ten thousand such little knick-knacks, tryinâ to sell âem to the fellows that were bowinâ, and scrapinâ and kungeerinâ about âem.
They would nât let no Democrats in, for fear theyâd disgust the ladies, or scare the little gals, or dirty the floor. I looked in at the window, and there was this same fellow Shields floatinâ
about on the air, without heft or earthly substances, just like a lock of cat fur where cats had been fighting.
âHe was paying his money to this one, and that one, and tâ other one, and sufferinâ great loss because it was nât silver instead of State paper; and the sweet distress he seemed to be in,âhis very features, in the ecstatic agony of his soul, spoke audibly and distinctly, âDear girls, it is distressing, but I cannot marry you all. Too well I know how much you suffer; but do, do remember, it is not my fault that I am so handsome and so interesting.â
âAs this last was expressed by a most exquisite contortion of his face, he seized hold of one of their hands, and squeezed, and held on to it about a quarter of an hour. âOh, my good fellow!â
says I to myself, âif that was one of our Democratic gals in the Lost Townships, the way you âd get a brass pin let into you would be about up to the head.â He a Democrat! Fiddlesticks! I tell you, Aunt âBecca, heâs a Whig, and no mistake; nobody but a Whig could make such a conceity dunce of himself.â
âWell,â says I, âmaybe he is; but, if he is, I âm mistaken the worst sort. Maybe so, maybe so; but, if I am, Iâll suffer by it; Iâll be a Democrat if it turns out that Shields is a Whig, considerinâ you shall be a Whig if he turns out a Democrat.â
âA bargain, by jingoes!â says he; âbut how will we find out?â
âWhy,â says I, âweâll just write and ax the printer.â
âAgreed again!â says he; âand by thunder! if it does turn out that Shields is a Democrat, I never will __________â
âJefferson! Jefferson!â
âWhat do you want, Peggy?â
âDo get through your everlasting clatter some time, and bring me a gourd of water; the childâs been crying for a drink this livelong hour.â
âLet it die, then; it may as well die for water as to be taxed to death to fatten officers of State.â
Jeff run off to get the water, though, just like he hadnât been saying anything spiteful, for heâs a raal good-hearted fellow, after all, once you get at the foundation of him.
I walked into the house, and, âWhy, Peggy,â says I, âI declare we like to forgot you altogether.â
âOh, yes,â says she, âwhen a body canât help themselves, everybody soon forgets âem; but, thank God! by day after to-morrow I shall be well enough to milk the cows, and pen the calves, and wring the contrary onesâ tails for âem, and no thanks to nobody.â
âGood evening, Peggy,â says I, and so I sloped, for I seed she was mad at me for making Jeff neglect her so long.
And now, Mr. Printer, will you be sure to let us know in your next paper whether this Shields is a Whig or a Democrat? I donât care about it for myself, for I know well enough how it is already; but I want to convince Jeff. It may do some good to let him, and others like him, know who and what these officers of State are. It may help to send the present hypocritical set to where they belong, and to fill the places they now disgrace with men who will do more work for less pay, and take fewer airs while they are doing it. It ainât sensible to think that the same men who get us in trouble will change their course; and yet itâs pretty plain if some change for the better is not made, itâs not long that either Peggy or I or any of us will have a cow left to milk, or a calfâs tail to wring.
Yours truly,
REBECCA ____________
INVITATION TO HENRY CLAY.
SPRINGFIELD, ILL., Aug 29, 1842.
HON. HENRY CLAY, Lexington, Ky.
DEAR SIR:âWe hear you are to visit Indianapolis, Indiana, on the 5th Of October next. If our information in this is correct we hope you will not deny us the pleasure of seeing you in our State. We are aware of the toil necessarily incident to a journey by one circumstanced as you are; but once you have embarked, as you have already determined to do, the toil would not be greatly augmented by extending the journey to our capital.
The season of the year will be most favorable for good roads, and pleasant weather; and although we cannot but believe you would be highly gratified with such a visit to the prairie-land, the pleasure it would give us and thousands such as we is beyond all question. You have never visited Illinois, or at least this portion of it; and should you now yield to our request, we promise you such a reception as shall he worthy of the man on whom are now turned the fondest hopes of a great and suffering nation.
Please inform us at the earliest convenience whether we may expect you.
Very respectfully your obedient servants, A. G. HENRY, A.
Comments (0)