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Seth and Marcus had been on a drive at the time and he’d had only Lydia and Charlie to fall back on. Lydia had taught him some cooking, and Charlie had helped with repair work around the ranch and kept Dean moving each day. Dean had buried his pain in work and taken comfort in his children. The last three years had been difficult, but not without joy.
Turning his mind away from all that, he looked down at the letter in his lap and wondered who it was from. He slit the envelope with a pocketknife and pulled out the letter. He detected a faint whiff of ladies’ perfume.
Unfolding the letter, he read:
Dear Mr. Samuels,
I am responding to the advertisement placed with the Brooks Agency of Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania. I found it to be touching and straightforward, which I appreciated very much. As I understand it, you are looking for a wife and mother-figure for your children.
“What the hell?” he said. Then it came back to him. “Marcus!” His younger brother had told him he should get married again. Dean had said that he didn’t know any single women, at least any reputable ones. That’s when Marcus had told him about mail-order brides and said that would be the perfect way to find a wife.
Dean had been joking when he said it sounded like a great idea and why didn’t Marcus place an ad. “That jackass!” Dean swore. “I can’t believe he did this.”
Curious despite his anger, Dean read on.
Allow me to tell you about myself. I am five-feet, nine inches tall and have dark brown hair, the color of a dark bay horse. My eyes are deep blue and I have a slender figure. I like to think I am kind and have good manners, although sometimes my parents are a little put out with me because I do not always follow the conventions of society.
I have an excellent sense of humor and enjoy the outdoors. I sit a horse well and can write, read, and do some mathematics. Perhaps I shouldn’t tell you this, as I am informed that many men are intimidated by educated women, but I somehow think you are perhaps more forward thinking than that. I would ask that you keep an open mind.
I have never been married and have no children, so I come unencumbered. I should like to have children so I hope you aren’t opposed to having more. Although it’s been a few years, I’m sure that you still deeply feel the loss of your wife and I am sorry you have had to endure such a thing. I would never presume to take her place, either in your heart, or in the hearts of your children. Rather, I would like to make my own place in all your lives and hope that we could be happy together.
I am looking forward to corresponding with you and becoming better acquainted.
Yours truly,
Theresa M. O’Connor
Dean read the letter several times and he was surprised to find that he was moved by this woman’s words. She was honest and sensitive and had added a little humor. He had to admit that his interest was piqued. Although tempted to write back, he had no idea how to respond. He decided to sleep on it and see how he would feel in the morning.
“What were you thinking?” Dean said as soon as he saw Marcus the next day.
Marcus had come to help Dean geld a couple of colts. Seth was out moving part of the herd to a new pasture. Lydia had taken a walk with the kids to pick some early spring berries they’d located on one of the trails.
Marcus frowned. “What are you talking about?”
Dean snatched the letter from Theresa O’Connor from a drawer in the kitchen and thrust it at his brother. “Read it.”
Marcus unfolded the paper and began scanning the page. His mouth curved in a smile that grew wider the more he read. He finished and handed the letter back to Dean.
“I’ll be damned. She sounds like a keeper,” he said.
“Why did you put that ad in the paper?”
“Because you said I should. You said it was a good idea,” Marcus answered.
Dean let out an exasperated sigh. “I was being sarcastic.”
“I know,” Marcus said with a nod. “But you need a wife. You need help with those kids. It’s not going to be long before Sadie is a young woman. Are you gonna talk to her about womanly matters?”
“Lydia will do that,” Dean said. He tended to be shy about sexual matters.
Marcus harrumphed. “Lydia and Charlie have their own kids to raise. You could certainly use a woman around here and one in your bed. You might be nicer to be around.”
Dean whipped his head around, ready to berate Marcus but his brother held up a hand.
“I know, Sarah was the love of your life, but the fact is, she wouldn’t want you to stay single the rest of your life and she’d want someone helping to take care of those kids. If you haven’t noticed, there’s a shortage of women in these parts, so the pickings are slim,” Marcus said. His gray eyes, which he had inherited from their mother, were serious. “If you’re not after love, at least be practical. Maybe you won’t fall head over heels for someone, but you could be somewhat happy and have a good life.”
Dean stayed silent for a few moments and saw the wisdom in Marcus’ words. His grief over Sarah’s death had colored his life for so long and he just couldn’t shake the feeling that he would be replacing her if another woman came along. Marcus may have been wiser than he about the subject, and Dean knew he had to take his children’s welfare into consideration.
He gave Marcus an unsure glance and said, “What the heck would I say to her if I did write? I can’t compete with that letter.”
Marcus smiled. “It’s not a competition, Dean. You just say what you feel.”
“I don’t know how I feel. No woman is gonna make the trip out here if I say that,” Dean said.
“I’ll tell you what. You give me a general idea what you wanna say and I’ll write the letter.”
Dean mulled over Marcus’ offer. Marcus had the most education out of the three brothers and certainly wrote better than he did. “Okay. Um, just tell her what we’re like and that I’m a hard worker and she sounds real nice. Oh, and tell her about the ranch.”
“Done,” Marcus said. “Now let’s get to those colts.”
All through the day, Dean kept thinking about that letter and wondering about the woman who’d written it. Why was she contemplating moving to an unknown land that was barely settled? She seemed smart and nice. Why couldn’t she find a man in Pittsburgh? He assumed there was a good reason and decided to give her the benefit of the doubt.
By the time Dean’s day was through, he was exhausted. That was nothing new, though. He welcomed the work and the fatigue because they kept thoughts away that he didn’t want to deal with. That night, however, he had something new to think about and it kept him awake for a while.
He lay in the bed in which he and Sarah had made love so many times and wondered how he could ever share it with someone else. Dean reached over and ran his hand over the side of the bed where Sarah had slept. What would it feel like to have a womanly figure lying next to him again?
“Sarah, I don’t know about all this. Marcus tells me I need to find someone to marry, to be a mother to our children, but I don’t know if that’s the right thing to do. I still miss you so much and I don’t think I can love someone like that again.” Dean fought the tears that threatened. “You always said you’d be with me no matter what. I hope you’re with me now. There’s times when I think I hear you laugh or feel you next to me. If you are around, can you give me some sort of a sign?”
He waited, but nothing happened. Dean laughed at himself, thinking he was incredibly foolish to expect some sort of otherworldly sign. He rolled over away from Sarah’s side of the bed and eventually nodded off.
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