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- Author: Susan English
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“I’m so sorry for your loss.” I quickly dried my eyes and wiped my nose.
“Thanks.” She quirked her lips into a half-smile, though her eyes held only sorrow.
“Death will have his day.”
I stared at her, wishing the impossible—that I could protect her from the pain.
“The quote from this morning, the one I wrote for you, reminds me of my father.
He’s that solitary star that is with me when I feel the weight of the world.”
I gave her a wan smile. “We all have our scars, don’t we?”
“Part of being human.” She looked again toward the far wall. “I wanted to tell you, because you trusted me with your story yesterday.”
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“Thank you,” I said, and sincerely meant it.
“I actually need to get back to my lab. I’m working on a new growth medium protocol for my ova chamber, and it’s at a critical stage. Tomorrow afternoon Jordyn’s coming by to help me with some ideas for materials I can use, and we’ll probably work till late. But can I see you on Thursday?”
For the first time, she seemed uncertain. What had it cost her, telling me about her father? Or was she starting to cool toward me? Losing interest? But she wanted to see me, right? So that must mean she still liked me. “I really enjoy spending time with you,”
I said.
She smiled. “So it’s a date?”
Resisting the urge to heave a sigh of relief, I nodded.
She stood, looking down at me, her expression unreadable. There was so much I wanted to say, about how I was feeling toward her—the excitement, terror, desire, hope—but I just didn’t know how. I stood, too, and when we reached the middle of the hub, Pavani turned toward the labs corridor.
“Pavani, wait,” I said, heart pounding. I longed to pull her to me and kiss her, but that would be the opposite of taking things slowly. “Good luck with your project.”
“Thanks.” She smiled. “See you Thursday night.”
I watched as she disappeared into the corridor.
240
I got to the park a little late on Thursday. I was so close to the finish line it was difficult to tear myself away from my work. When I arrived, Pavani was there waiting for me.
“Sorry I’m late,” I said, sitting next to her.
“I’m just glad you decided to come.”
The insecurity and doubt I saw in her face surprised me. Had she assumed I wouldn’t make it? Did she really care that much? “I lost track of the time.” I explained.
She nodded, and I was touched by her vulnerability.
“So how did it go yesterday? Did you get your ova chamber set up?”
“Not exactly. Ran into a few hiccups along the way.”
“Oh?”
“Could be that I’m having trouble concentrating. Other things on my mind,” she said, the corners of her mouth lifting slightly.
My stomach did a little flip. Was she talking about me? She was definitely the reason I was having so much difficulty finishing my manual—I couldn’t keep my mind off her.
“Oh?”
She leaned toward me, and my heart stopped for a moment. “Let’s just say I have a very active imagination,” she said in a low voice, and I felt a shiver run down my spine.
She stretched out her legs, body relaxed, and settled back into the bench.
Suddenly my own imagination was spiraling out of control as my eyes raked over her long, lean body, the jumpsuit hugging her curves in a highly provocative way.
“How is your writing going?”
“Writing?” I asked, desperately trying to reel in my rather salacious thoughts.
She smiled, waiting.
“Oh, my writing, yeah. It’s going well.”
“So, Calli, I’d like to ask you something, and of course you don’t have to answer if you don’t want to.”
I stared at her.
“What’s your relationship with Olivia?”
“Oh, we’re friends.” I hoped it was still true.
Pavani nodded.
“We were together, but that was a long time ago.”
“Yes, I heard. It’s a small station.”
I gave a little laugh. “That it is.”
“What happened? If you don’t mind me asking.”
“She left me,” I said simply. How could I explain what I didn’t understand myself?
“That must have been a difficult time for you.”
My shoulder twitched in a half-hearted shrug. “What about you?”
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“No, I can’t say I’ve ever been with Olivia, though she’s a lovely woman.” I let out a burst of laughter, and Pavani grinned. “Okay, it’s only fair, since I asked you. My ex and I split up a few years ago. We were a couple for six years.”
“Wow, that’s a long time to be together,” I said.
“Yes, it is.”
I raised an eyebrow, cocking my head, and she laughed good-naturedly.
“We grew apart, and she fell in love with someone else.”
“Oh.”
“I still miss her sometimes, but she’s happy where she is.”
She took a deep breath, and my eyes were immediately drawn to her chest, and the zipper running up the front of her jumpsuit. I imagined what it would be like to lower that zipper, just a little bit. I tucked my hands under my thighs and forced myself to look up.
Pavani was watching me carefully, the sides of her mouth curled up in a grin. “If you ever decide to change careers, take my advice. Don’t be a professional poker player.”
I felt my face redden.
“Shall we go?” she asked, pushing herself up. “I need to do some research tonight before I go to sleep.”
We made our way to the dorm module and stopped just in front of my door.
“I’ll be working this whole weekend,” said Pavani, “probably late every night. A final push to get my lab set up. So how about next Monday night? Want to meet again in the park?”
“I would love that.”
She kissed me on the cheek, then pulled me into a tight embrace, releasing me far too soon. I stared into her eyes, the longing and desire welling up inside me, and her pupils dilated in response. She smiled. “There’s plenty of time for that, sweet Calli. We have all the time in the world.”
I nodded, swallowing hard. The anticipation was intoxicating, though I wasn’t sure how much longer I could wait, my body was begging for more.
242
Late Friday morning, I finished my warp drive manual and uploaded it to the database, instructing Annie to release it when Diana gave us the go-ahead. Once it was out, the world, in fact all of humanity, would be forever changed. I was sorely tempted to go see Pavani, but didn’t want to interrupt her, and besides, it was becoming increasingly difficult to keep my hands off her body, so instead I went to Naomi’s lab.
“Calli!” she said as I opened the door. “So glad you stopped by!” She pushed herself away from the console and over to the couch, and I joined her.
“Aw, you just want to gossip,” I said.
“Duh!” She laughed. “Now spill!”
“I finished my manual.”
“Yeah, yeah, great job and all that. Achievement of a lifetime. Congratulations.” Her tone was playfully dismissive. “Could we now talk about you and Pavani, please?”
I laughed. “It’s going good, really good.”
She raised her eyebrows. “Have you kissed yet?”
Stifling a groan, I said, “No, not yet. Nothing physical, except maybe a peck on the cheek.”
“She’s set some boundaries, huh?”
“Uh-huh.” I bit my lower lip. “I don’t know how much longer I can stand it.”
“But it’s kind of hot, right? The waiting?”
“Yeah, it’s definitely that,” I said with a smile. “So hey, I’m going to the Moon for the weekend. Taking a little break.”
“Oh? Is Pavani going with you?” Naomi raised her eyebrows.
“Not this time. Though that would be nice.” I smiled at the thought. “She’ll be working in her lab.”
“Well good for you, you totally deserve a rest.”
“Are you coming?”
“No. I’d like to finish up a couple things here.” She sighed. “I’ll miss Simon, but soon I’ll be there full time, working on Phase II of my research.”
“Naomi, when you’re finished on the Moon, will you come back to Shambhala?” I asked, a catch in my throat.
“I don’t know,” she said, looking at her hands.
◆◆◆
I still had an hour to get to the shuttle, so I headed to Diana’s office, and met Izumi in the corridor.
“Hi, Izumi, I’m going to the Moon for the weekend. I was just on my way to tell Diana, can you let her know?”
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“I’d be happy to.”
I studied her face—she looked tired, worn out. “Maybe you need a break, too?”
“You are so sweet, Calli. It’s true Diana and I have been under a bit of pressure with the Foundation.”
“Is that still going on?”
She nodded.
“I’m so sorry to hear that. Is there anything I can do to help?”
“When there is, I won’t hesitate to ask.”
I touched her arm. “Just say the word. You can trust us, and we’re behind you one hundred percent.”
Izumi smiled, and this time it was she who scrutinized my face. “You’ve changed.
Since you first arrived.”
“I have?” I cocked my head. “What do you mean?”
“You’ve been with us for, what, almost a year now?”
“Uh-huh.”
“From my perspective, observing you working on your project with Hadley, interacting with the crew, becoming part of the community, and when you opened up to us about Amélie—I know how difficult that was for you—but you did it, Calli, you stepped forward through the pain, and did the right thing. Taking all this into account, I would say you have come into your own. I see the same thing over and over, after a year, perhaps two, of being here in this environment, or on the lunar facility or one of the Foundation labs on Earth, each woman is able to tap into her true power, without any impediments. The transformation is astounding. It makes me think of a butterfly emerging from a cocoon. All that beauty, all that promise that was there from the beginning, has a chance to grow, to flourish, and what emerges is spectacular.”
I thought for a moment, reminded of Naomi’s words. “You’re right, Izumi, I feel like an upgraded version of myself. Callisto 2.0.” It was true. The awkward, insecure woman of the interview with
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