Mike by P. G. Wodehouse (best summer reads of all time .txt) 📖

these occasions it was best to take no risks.

He dropped cautiously into Appleby’s garden, ran lightly across it, and was in the lane within a minute.

There he paused, dusted his trousers, which had suffered on the two walls, and strolled meditatively in the direction of the town.  Half-past ten had just chimed from the school clock.  He was in plenty of time.

“What a night!” he said to himself, sniffing as he walked.

Now it happened that he was not alone in admiring the beauty of that particular night.  At ten-fifteen it had struck Mr. Appleby, looking out of his study into the moonlit school grounds, that a pipe in the open would make an excellent break in his night’s work.  He had acquired a slight headache as the result of correcting a batch of examination papers, and he thought that an interval of an hour in the open air before approaching the half-dozen or so papers which still remained to be looked at might do him good.  The window of his study was open, but the room had got hot and stuffy.  Nothing like a little fresh air for putting him right.

For a few moments he debated the rival claims of a stroll in the cricket-field and a seat in the garden.  Then he decided on the latter.  The little gate in the railings opposite his house might not be open, and it was a long way round to the main entrance.  So he took a deck-chair which leaned against the wall, and let himself out of the back door.

He took up his position in the shadow of a fir-tree with his back to the house.  From here he could see the long garden.  He was fond of his garden, and spent what few moments he could spare from work and games pottering about it.  He had his views as to what the ideal garden should be, and he hoped in time to tinker his own three acres up to the desired standard.  At present there remained much to be done.  Why not, for instance, take away those laurels at the end of the lawn, and have a flower-bed there instead?  Laurels lasted all the year round, true, whereas flowers died and left an empty brown bed in the winter, but then laurels were nothing much to look at at any time, and a garden always had a beastly appearance in winter, whatever you did to it.  Much better have flowers, and get a decent show for one’s money in summer at any rate.

The problem of the bed at the end of the lawn occupied his complete attention for more than a quarter of an hour, at the end of which period he discovered that his pipe had gone out.

He was just feeling for his matches to relight it when Wyatt dropped with a slight thud into his favourite herbaceous border.

The surprise, and the agony of feeling that large boots were trampling among his treasures kept him transfixed for just the length of time necessary for Wyatt to cross the garden and climb the opposite wall.  As he dropped into the lane, Mr. Appleby recovered himself sufficiently to emit a sort of strangled croak, but the sound was too slight to reach Wyatt.  That reveller was walking down the Wrykyn road before Mr. Appleby had left his chair.

It is an interesting point that it was the gardener rather than the schoolmaster in Mr. Appleby that first awoke to action.  It was not the idea of a boy breaking out of his house at night that occurred to him first as particularly heinous; it was the fact that the boy had broken out via his herbaceous border.  In four strides he was on the scene of the outrage, examining, on hands and knees, with the aid of the moonlight, the extent of the damage done.

As far as he could see, it was not serious.  By a happy accident Wyatt’s boots had gone home to right and left of precious plants but not on them.  With a sigh of relief Mr. Appleby smoothed over the cavities, and rose to his feet.

At this point it began to strike him that the episode affected him as a schoolmaster also.

In that startled moment when Wyatt had suddenly crossed his line of vision, he had recognised him.  The moon had shone full on his face as he left the flowerbed.  There was no doubt in his mind as to the identity of the intruder.

He paused, wondering how he should act.  It was not an easy question.  There was nothing of the spy about Mr. Appleby.  He went his way openly, liked and respected by boys and masters.  He always played the game.  The difficulty here was to say exactly what the game was.  Sentiment, of course, bade him forget the episode, treat it as if it had never happened.  That was the simple way out of the difficulty.  There was nothing unsporting about Mr. Appleby.  He knew that there were times when a master might, without blame, close his eyes or look the other way.  If he had met Wyatt out of bounds in the day-time, and it had been possible to convey the impression that he had not seen him, he would have done so.  To be out of bounds is not a particularly deadly sin.  A master must check it if it occurs too frequently, but he may use his discretion.

Breaking out at night, however, was a different thing altogether.  It was on another plane.  There are times when a master must waive sentiment, and remember that he is in a position of trust, and owes a duty directly to his headmaster, and indirectly, through the headmaster, to the parents.  He receives a salary for doing this duty, and, if he feels that sentiment is too strong for him, he should resign in favour of some one of tougher fibre.

This was the conclusion to which Mr. Appleby came over his relighted pipe.  He could not let the matter rest where it was.

In ordinary circumstances it would have been his duty to report the affair to the headmaster but in the present case he thought that a slightly different course might be pursued.  He would lay the whole thing before Mr. Wain, and leave him to deal with it as he thought best.  It was one of the few cases where it was possible for an assistant master to fulfil his duty to a parent directly, instead of through the agency of the headmaster.

Knocking out the ashes of his pipe against a tree, he folded his deck-chair and went into the house.  The examination papers were spread invitingly on the table, but they would have to wait.  He turned down his lamp, and walked round to Wain’s.

There was a light in one of the ground-floor windows.  He tapped on the window, and the sound of a chair being pushed back told him that he had been heard.  The blind shot up, and he had a view of a room littered with books and papers, in the middle of which stood Mr. Wain, like a sea-beast among rocks.

Mr. Wain recognised his visitor and opened the window.  Mr. Appleby could not help feeling how like Wain it was to work on a warm summer’s night in a hermetically sealed room.  There was always something queer and eccentric about Wyatt’s step-father.

“Can I have a word with you, Wain?” he said.

“Appleby!  Is there anything the matter?  I was startled when you tapped.  Exceedingly so.”

“Sorry,” said Mr. Appleby.  “Wouldn’t have disturbed you, only it’s something important.  I’ll climb in through here, shall I?  No need to unlock the door.”  And, greatly to Mr. Wain’s surprise and rather to his disapproval, Mr. Appleby vaulted on to the window-sill, and squeezed through into the room.

CHAPTER XXIV

CAUGHT

“Got some rather bad news for you, I’m afraid,” began Mr. Appleby.  “I’ll smoke, if you don’t mind.  About Wyatt.”

“James!”

“I was sitting in my garden a few minutes ago, having a pipe before finishing the rest of my papers, and Wyatt dropped from the wall on to my herbaceous border.”

Mr. Appleby said this with a tinge of bitterness.  The thing still rankled.

“James!  In your garden!  Impossible.  Why, it is not a quarter of an hour since I left him in his dormitory.”

“He’s not there now.”

“You astound me, Appleby.  I am astonished.”

“So was I.”

“How is such a thing possible?  His window is heavily barred.”

“Bars can be removed.”

“You must have been mistaken.”

“Possibly,” said Mr. Appleby, a little nettled.  Gaping astonishment is always apt to be irritating.  “Let’s leave it at that, then.  Sorry to have disturbed you.”

“No, sit down, Appleby.  Dear me, this is most extraordinary.  Exceedingly so.  You are certain it was James?”

“Perfectly.  It’s like daylight out of doors.”

Mr. Wain drummed on the table with his fingers.

“What shall I do?”

Mr. Appleby offered no suggestion.

“I ought to report it to the headmaster.  That is certainly the course I should pursue.”

“I don’t see why.  It isn’t like an ordinary case.  You’re the parent.  You can deal with the thing directly.  If you come to think of it, a headmaster’s only a sort of middleman between boys and parents.  He plays substitute for the parent in his absence.  I don’t see why you should drag in the master at all here.”

“There is certainly something in what you say,” said Mr. Wain on reflection.

“A good deal.  Tackle the boy when he comes in, and have it out with him.  Remember that it must mean expulsion if you report him to the headmaster.  He would have no choice.  Everybody who has ever broken out of his house here and been caught has been expelled.  I should strongly advise you to deal with the thing yourself.”

“I will.  Yes.  You are quite right, Appleby.  That is a very good idea of yours.  You are not going?”

“Must.  Got a pile of examination papers to look over.  Good-night.”

“Good-night.”

Mr. Appleby made his way out of the window and through the gate into his own territory in a pensive frame of mind.  He was wondering what would happen.  He had taken the only possible course, and, if only Wain kept his head and did not let the matter get through officially to the headmaster, things might not be so bad for Wyatt after all.  He hoped they would not.  He liked Wyatt.  It would be a thousand pities, he felt, if he were to be expelled.  What would Wain do?  What would he do in a similar case?  It was difficult to say.  Probably talk violently for as long as he could keep it up, and then consider the episode closed.  He doubted whether Wain would have the common sense to do this.  Altogether it was very painful and disturbing, and he was taking a rather gloomy view of the assistant master’s lot as he sat down to finish off the rest of his examination papers.  It was not all roses, the life of an assistant master at a public school.  He had continually to be sinking his own individual sympathies in the claims of his duty.  Mr. Appleby was the last man who would willingly have reported a boy for enjoying a midnight ramble.  But he was the last man to shirk the duty of reporting him, merely because it was one decidedly not to his taste.

Mr. Wain sat on for some minutes after his companion had left, pondering over the news he had heard.  Even now he clung to the idea that Appleby had made some extraordinary mistake.  Gradually he began to convince himself of this.  He had seen Wyatt actually in bed a quarter of an hour before—­not asleep, it was true, but apparently on the verge of dropping off.  And the bars across the window had looked so solid....  Could Appleby have been dreaming?  Something of the kind might easily have happened.  He had been working hard, and the night was warm....

Then it occurred to him that he could easily prove or disprove the truth of his colleague’s statement by going to the dormitory and seeing if Wyatt were there or not.  If he had gone out, he would hardly have returned yet.

He took a candle, and walked quietly upstairs.

Arrived at his step-son’s dormitory, he turned the door-handle softly and went in.  The light of the candle fell on both beds.  Mike was there, asleep.  He grunted, and turned over with his face to the wall as the light shone on his eyes.  But the other bed was empty.  Appleby had been right.

If further proof had been needed, one of the bars was missing from the window.  The moon shone in through the empty space.

The house-master sat down quietly on the vacant bed.  He blew the candle out, and waited there in the semi-darkness, thinking.  For years he and Wyatt had lived in a state of armed neutrality, broken by various small encounters.  Lately, by silent but mutual agreement, they had kept out of each other’s way as much as possible, and it had become rare for the house-master to have to find fault officially with his step-son.  But there had never been anything even remotely approaching friendship between them.  Mr. Wain was not a man who inspired affection readily, least of all in those many years younger than himself.  Nor did he easily grow fond of others.