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the time, and some of the time a-talkin' on our own hook, as is the ways of wimmen.

Mr. Bolster—and I believe he knew that we wuz from York State, and did it partly in a boastin' way—he begun most to once to prove that Chicago wuz the only place in America at all suitable to hold the World's Fair in.

And I gin him to understand that I thought that New York would have been a good place for it, and it wuz a disapintment to me and to several other men and wimmen in the State to not have it there.

But Mr. Bolster says, "Why, Chicago is the only place at all proper for it. Why," sez he, "in a way of politeness, Chicago is the only place for it. In what other city could the foreigners be welcomed by their own people as they can here?" Sez he—

"In Chicago over 75 per cent of the population is foreign."

"Yes," sez Josiah, with a air as if he had made population a study from his youth.

But he didn't know nothin' about it, no more than I did.

Sez Mr. Bolster, "Out of a population of a little over a million 200,000, we have nine hundred an[Pg 212]d 14,000 foreigners. That shows in itself that Chicago is the only city calculated to make our foreign friends feel perfectly at home."

"Yes," sez Josiah, "that is very true."

But I sez to Miss Plank, "There is other folks I like jest as well as I do my relations, and if they had thought so much on 'em, why didn't they stay with 'em in the first place?"

And Miss Plank kinder looked knowin' and nodded her head; she couldn't swing right out free, as I could, bein' hampered by not wantin' to offend any of her boarders.

Sez Mr. Bolster, "Chicago has the most energetic and progressive people in the world. It hain't made up, like a Eastern village, of folks that stay to home and set round on butter-tubs in grocery stores, talkin' about hens. No, it is made up of people who dared—who wuz too energetic, progressive, and ambitious, to settle down and be content with what their fathers had. And they struck out new paths for themselves, as the Pilgrim Fathers did.

"And it is of these people, who represent the advancin' and progressive thought of the day, that Chicago is made up. It embodies the best energy and ambition of the Eastern States and of Europe."

"Yes," sez Josiah, "that is jest so."

And then, sez Mr. Bolster, "Chicago is, as is well known, in the very centre of the eart[Pg 213]h."

"Chicago is the very centre of the earth." "Chicago is the very centre of the earth."

"Yes," sez Josiah.

But I struck in here, and couldn't help it, and, sez I, "That is what Boston has always thought;" and, sez I, candidly, "That is what has always been thought about Jonesville."

He looked pityin'ly at me, and, sez he, "Where is Jonesville?"

And I sez, "Jest where I told you, in the very centre of the earth, as nigh as we can make out."

"How old is the place?" sez Mr. Bolster.

Sez I proudly, "It is more than a hundred and fifty years old, for Uncle Nate Bently's grandfather built the first store there, and helped build the first Meetin'-House; and," sez I, "Uncle Nate is over ninety."

"How many inhabitants has it?" sez he briskly.

And then my own feathers had to droop; and as I paused to collect my thoughts, Josiah spoke up—he is always so forward—and, sez he, "About 200 and 10 or 11."

[Pg 214]

But I sez, with dignity, "Perhaps I know more about some things than you do, Josiah. There may be, by this time, one or two more inhabitants."

Sez Mr. Bolster, "A growth of about 200 in one hundred years! Chicago is about half as old, and has one million eight hundred thousand population. In ten years the population has increased 108 per cent, and property has increased in the same time 656 per cent, the greatest growth in the world."

He regarded Jonesville as he would a fly in dog days. He went right by it.

"As I was saying, we say nothing about Chicago but what we can prove. Look on the map and you will see for yourself that Chicago is right in the centre of the habitable portion of North America. Put your thumb down on Chicago, and then sweep round it in an even circle with your middle finger, and you will see that it takes in with that sweep all the settled portion of North America."

"Yes," sez Josiah, with a air as if he had proved it with his thumb and finger, time and agin, but he hadn't no such thing.

Sez Mr. Bolster, "We say nothing about our City that we can't prove. As Chicago is in the very centre of productive North America, so it is the centre of population of the United States.

[Pg 215]

"It is the centre of the raw materials for manufactures, cotton, wool, metals, coal, gas, oil fields, all sorts of food. And as it is the centre of supply, so it is of distribution—60 railroads and branches bring freight and carry out manufactured products to every part of the country—to say nothing of the great number of lines of water transportations—connecting with all parts of the world. Why, last year Chicago had 50 per cent more arrivals and clearances than New York. It is the greatest shipping place in America. And," sez Mr. Bolster, "not only can we prove that Chicago is the centre of the world for manufactures, but it is the healthiest place to live in."

And then agin I spoke out, and, sez I, "I always hearn that it was built on low, swampy ground."

"Yes," sez Mr. Bolster cheerfully, "that is the reason why it is healthy. The ground was originally low and wet, and so it was elevated, filled in. Why, just before the great fire we lifted up all the houses, in the best part of the city, on jack-screws for eight feet, and filled the ground under them. The idea of lifting up a whole city eight feet and making new ground under it! There never was such an undertaking before since the world began.

[Pg 216]

"And then the fire come, and the city was rebuilt just as we wanted it. Why, the death-rate of Chicago is lower than almost any city of the world except London—it is just about the same as that. Then," sez he, "our climate is perfect; it is so temperate and even that folks don't have to spend all their energies in keeping warm, as they do in colder climates, nor is it so warm that they have to spend their vital energies in fanning themselves."

Sez Josiah, "I had ruther mow a beaver medder in dog days than to fan myself—it wouldn't tire me so much."

Sez Mr. Bolster, "The climate is just right to call forth the prudent saving qualities to provide for the winter; and warm enough to keep them happy and cheerful looking forward to bounteous harvests."

"Wall," sez I, "it got burnt up, anyway."

It fairly provoked me to see him look down so on all the rest of the world.

"Yes," sez he, "that is another evidence of the city's marvellous power and resources. Find me another city, if you can, where in a few hours 200 millions of dollars were burnt up, two thousand 100 acres burnt over, right in the heart of a big city, with a loss of two hundred and ninety million dollars,[Pg 217] and then to have it spring up in a marvellously short time—not only as good as new, but infinitely better; so much better that the disaster proved to be an untold blessing to the city."

Truly, as I see, swamps couldn't dround out his self-conceit, nor fire burn it up.

And I knew myself that Chicago had great reason to be proud of her doin's, and I felt it in my heart, only I couldn't bear to see Mr. Bolster act so haughty.

And I sez to my pardner, with quite a lot of dignity, "I guess it is time we are goin', if we get to the Fair in any season."

And Mr. Bolster to once told us what way would be best for us to go. A good-natured creeter he is, without any doubt.

But jest as we wuz startin' I happened to think of a errent that had been sent me by Jim Meesick, he that wuz Philura Meesick's brother.

He wanted to get a place to work somewhere in Chicago, through the Fair, so's to pay his way, and gin him a chance to go to the Fair.

I had already asked Miss Plank about it, but she didn't know of no openin' for him, and I happened to think, mebby Mr. Bolster, seein[Pg 218]' he knew everything else, might know of a place where Jim could get work.

And, sez I, "He is handy at anything, and I spoze there are lots of folks here in Chicago that hire help. I spoze some of 'em have as many as four or five hired men apiece."

Sez I, "There are them in Jonesville, durin' the summer time, who employ as high as two men by the day, besides the regular hired man, and I spoze it is so here."

"Yes," sez he; "Mr. Pullmen has five thousand four hundred and fifty hired men, and Philip Armoor has seven thousand seven hundred and seventy-five."

Wall, there wuz no more to be said. Bolster had done what he sot out to do—he had lowered my pride down lower than the Queen of Sheba's ever wuz, by fur. I had no sperit left in me. He might have gone on to me by the hour, and I not sensed it.

But I didn't let on how I felt. I only sez weakly, "Wall, they hain't a-sufferin' for help, I guess, and I'll write to Philura so."

But Bolster, good-natured agin, sez, "I will look round, and see what I can do for him." And he snatched out a note-book, and writ his name down.[Pg 219] And I thanked him, and weakly follered my companion from the room.

And I felt that if the door had been much smaller I could have got out of it. I felt very diminutive—very—almost tiny. But I got over it pretty soon. I felt about my usial size as we descended the stairs and stood on the steps, ready to sally out and take the street cars that wuz to transport our bodys to the Christopher Columbus World's Fair.

But while we wuz a-standin' there a-lookin' round to see jest which wuz the best way to go to get to the corner Miss Plank had directed us to, Mr. Bolster come down the steps spry and active as a young cat, and, sez he—

"My carriage is waiting to take me to my orfice, and I will be glad to take you both in, and take you past some of our city sights, and I will leave you at a station where the train will take you right to the grounds."

So we accepted his offer, Josiah with joy and I with a becomin' dignity, and the carriage sot off down the street.

And what follers truly seems like a dream to me, and so duz the talk accompanyin' it. The tall buildin's we looked at, one of 'em 260 feet high, 20 storys—elevators that carry 4[Pg 220]0,000 passengers—and a garden on the roof, a garden 260 feet in the air, where you can set and talk and eat nut-cakes, and fried oysters—the idee!

And then the block that Mr. Bolster said wuz the largest business block in the world, it accomidated 6000 people. And then we went by big meetin'-housen, and other big housen, whose ruffs seemed so high that it seemed as if you could stand up on the chimblys and shake hands with the man in the moon, and neighbor with him.

And then the talk I hearn—22 miles of river frontage sweepin' up from the lake into the heart of the city, where the giant elevators unload their huge traffic. He told us what the revenue of the city wuz yearly, $25,000,000, 25 millions—the idee!

And Jonesville, fifty years older than Chicago, thinks she has done well if she has 3 dollars and 25 cents in her treasury.

Why, that man used so many immense sums in his talk, that I got all muddled up, and a ort seemed to me almost like a million—I felt

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