When a Southern Woman Rambles... by L. Avery Brown (top 100 novels TXT) 📖

To begin, it was evident to me that just like her daughter, Maw-ma, who I am sure taught her daughter the ancient art of self-pluckification, had obviously spent an abundance of time over her many years grooming her own brows to almost nothing.  But unlike her daughter who made no attempt to dress up what little hair she had remaining on the expanse between her hairline and her eyes, Maw-ma had drawn on fairly thick, high arched, slightly off-kilter eyebrows with a brown eye pencil that made her look as if she was perpetually surprised.  Though I will say the lavender eye shadow that covered her droopy lids matched her sweat pants amazingly well and I’ve no doubt it was done purposefully which leads me to wonder if Maw-ma has a huge color wheel of eye shadow at home so she can coordinate her look before stepping out onto the town. 

Now honestly, I did try to put the two women out of my mind as I gathered the items on my shopping list…I really did.  But the words that had been waiting so long to be written were already spinning around in my head.  And then when I got to the checkout register to pay for my items I couldn’t help but see that they were in the line next to me.  Unfortunately, from my perspective I could only see their backs.  However, I could see the faces of Pammi, a new clerk at the store, and the bagger, Jon, helping her.  And when Pammi, a young woman who was probably all of nineteen years old, looked up from her register to ask if the women had a frequent shopper card, the look of utter shock that crossed the newbie clerk and at that moment was to die for.  Yes, I knew without a doubt that she, too, had been dumbfounded...no, no....intrigued by their significantly...oh, heaven's me where are my manners?...a little more than slightly over-tended brows. 

The ladies paid for their items and exited the store just as I was pulling out my credit card to pay for my own goods.  As I swiped my credit card through the little reader, I glanced up to see and hear Pammi not so covertly whispering to Jon, ‘Oh, my God!  Did you see those ladies eyebrows?’  

Where upon Jon simply smiled and said, “Yeah, they come in every Tuesday like clockwork.” gh the little reader, I glanced up to see and hear Pammi not so covertly whispering to Jon, ‘Oh, my God!  Did you see those ladies eyebrows?’  

Geez, if only I’d made my way to the grocery store 50-some-odd Tuesdays ago…I would have had one less weird thought running through my already goofy head!

The moral of this particular Tragic Tale of Beauty –

Thou shalt not self-pluck thine eyebrows lest thou be ambidextrous! 

Text: L. Avery Brown
Images: L. Avery Brown
Publication Date: 07-15-2013

All Rights Reserved

Dedication:
For women and men alike who have had an "OH NO!" beauty moment ...take ownership of your beauty boo-boos and know that you are not alone. We have ALL been there...some of us MORE than others!