A Christmas Garland by Sir Max Beerbohm (e book reader for pc txt) 📖
- Author: Sir Max Beerbohm
Book online «A Christmas Garland by Sir Max Beerbohm (e book reader for pc txt) 📖». Author Sir Max Beerbohm
You see these movesome. Do you not recall,
We once went in a party and beheld
All manner of absurd things happening
On one of those same—planets, don't you call them?
SPIRIT OF THE YEARS (screwing up his eyes at the Solar System).One of that very swarm it was, if I mistake not.
It had a parasite that called itself
Napol�on. And lately, I believe,
Another parasite has had the impudence
To publish an elaborate account
Of our (for so we deemed it) private visit.
SPIRIT SINISTER.His name?
RECORDING ANGEL.One moment.
(Turns over leaves.)Hardy, Mr. Thomas,
Novelist. Author of "The Woodlanders,"
"Far from the Madding Crowd," "The Trumpet Major,"
"Tess of the D'Urbervilles," etcetera,
Etcetera. In 1895
"Jude the Obscure" was published, and a few
Hasty reviewers, having to supply
A column for the day of publication,
Filled out their space by saying that there were
Several passages that might have been
Omitted with advantage. Mr. Hardy
Saw that if that was so, well then, of course,
Obviously the only thing to do
Was to write no more novels, and forthwith
Applied himself to drama, and to Us.
SPIRIT IRONIC.Let us hear what he said about Us.
THE OTHER SPIRITS.Let's.
RECORDING ANGEL (raising receiver of aerial telephone).3 oh 4 oh oh 3 5, Space.... Hulloa.
Is that the Superstellar Library?
I'm the Recording Angel. Kindly send me
By Spirit-Messenger a copy of
"The Dynasts" by T. Hardy. Thank you.
A pause. Enter Spirit-Messenger, with copy of "The Dynasts."
Thanks.
Exit Spirit-Messenger. The Recording Angel reads "The Dynasts" aloud.
Just as the reading draws to a close, enter the Spirit of Mr. Clement Shorter and Chorus of Subtershorters. They are visible as small grey transparencies swiftly interpenetrating the brains of the spatial Spirits.
SPIRIT OF THE PITIES.It is a book which, once you take it up,
You cannot readily lay down.
SPIRIT SINISTER.There is
Not a dull page in it.
SPIRIT OF THE YEARS.A bold conception
Outcarried with that artistry for which
The author's name is guarantee. We have
No hesitation in commending to our readers
A volume which—
The Spirit of Mr. Clement Shorter and Chorus of Subtershorters are detected and expelled.
—we hasten to denounce
As giving an entirely false account
Of our impressions.
SPIRIT IRONIC.Hear, hear!
SPIRIT SINISTER.Hear, hear!
SPIRIT OF THE PITIES.Hear!
SPIRIT OF THE YEARS.Intensive vision has this Mr. Hardy,
With a dark skill in weaving word-patterns
Of subtle ideographies that mark him
A man of genius. So am not I,
But a plain Spirit, simple and forthright,
With no damned philosophical fal-lals
About me. When I visited that planet
And watched the animalculae thereon,
I never said they were "automata"
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