Genre Humor. Page - 42

Clearance was working in his garden when something suddenly came over him. He started running and screaming. His wife and children tried to catch him, wondering if Clearance had lost his mind.

Can the good Doctor from Muddy Fork figure out what has come over Clearance, or is he what everyone fears: Crazy?

A Muddy Fork Short Story

The neighborhood kids have inadvertently started a young girl's hair on fire at the local theater...and then fled the scene of the crime. Hiding behind the neighborhood library...having the "matchgun" technology explained to two of the boys by the oldest member of the "gang"...the little snot "Dennis" spots them and blackmail ensues.
Dennis winds up with the matchgun...:)

"Bordering the broad parkway, towering elms stood, perfectly aligned and spaced. They were trimmed as if a small army of tree barbers spent innumerable hours each day manicuring them, until even the squirrels and birds donned tuxedos before entering the branches."

It's coffee break time.

Sometime around 1976, our Dad began to act in a most unusual manner. Dad was never one for conformity but even we, his family, were surprised by his actions. In short, Dad began to disappear for long periods of time and would re-appear hours later with a satisfied grin on his face and laughter playing around his lips. We knew where he was, of course, but figuring out what he was doing there was less easy. We had a few hints to help us with our puzzle. We knew Dad was in his bedroom, that no-one should disturb him and that a by-product of whatever he was doing was a painfully slow, rhythmic banging sound that seemed to penetrate our brains and consciences wherever we were in the house - and sometimes in other people's houses as well.

Then Dad announced he was writing (and typing!) a book.

Those who knew him, (but not his immediate nearest and dearest), would have been surprised by this announcement and would possibly have considered the prospect with some cynicism. Dad, you see, was a man who by his own admission considered formal education an intrusion on his lifestyle. Despite the interference of the second world war with his education, Dad easily passed grammar school entrance exams then, being Dad, realised this would result in him being apart from his friends and promptly set about restructuring his education! It is probably fair just to say that Dad started full-time adult employment pretty early in life.

But Dad had an education second to none once he got into the adult world. He was at various times, a projectionist with Gainsborough Film Studios (under the jurisdiction of a young J.Arthur Rank), a milkman, a very capable and commended National serviceman and a host of other things, most of which he probably forgot to tell us about. But mostly, Dad would like to be remembered for being a lorry driver and removal man for a family firm in Watford, Herts. He loved his work, but hated being away from his family for days on end on long-distance jobs. He gained, however, a never-ending supply of comical memories, provided by characters he met as he worked.

It is a shame that no publisher or television company took on the publication or production of Dad's book/screenplay (he wrote it in both formats). It is also a shame that a very similar idea was offered to the public via one of the above media not too long after a particular rejection slip was received. Dad, being Dad, took it with a shrug of resignation. He wasn't a man to get upset about such things.

Dad left us on November 9th 2001 and there are so many ways that he will be forever in our hearts, but we also believe that he deserved the chance for his book to read by the people who inspired it - the general public and the world at large.

It is a huge pleasure to be able to offer Dad's book to the world via this website. Dad would be thrilled to know that anyone, anywhere would be able to read some or all of his 'labour of love'.

' Dad ' is Thomas Rayner Gomm (Ray, to his workmates). All the characters in this work are entirely fictional and any resemblance to any person living or dead is purely coincidental. Although somehow, we feel strangely like we know at least one of the characters......................

when the cullens go crazy (edward and the other cullens are human)

this is just a little bit of humor to lighten up someones day my friend wanted me to update it. Its his work

Sometimes - unless you were one of those unique individuals born with extra digits - there's not enough fingers and toes on our hands or feet to keep track of number of times we witness stupidity-in-action during a 24-hour period.

Sometimes 'sometimes' is ALWAYS!

And when those 'sometimes' happen - one mint julep simply isn't enough for this Southern gal to deal with all the lunacy a person must deal with during a given day.

Will it be wrong if I tell both men and women look at females as symbols of progeny?  With the world evolving higher every day in terms of technology,  when will these narrow thoughts change into a broader one?  Who will bring that transformation in thoughts as a whole?  No one knows.