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we walked out of the room and into the hall. No one was there, so we headed to my room. Before we got there, Carl stopped me.
“If we’re going to pretend to do this, we might as well do it right. No more of this amateur stuff.” He started playing with my hair, messing it up. He gave a small smile, and I started chewing. He messed with my hair a little bit more, then stepped back to examine his work. I started to laugh, but he shushed me.
When we got even closer, he stopped me again. “Now, when we get in there, don’t look anyone in the eye. Especially not your dad. Look sheepish, like you’ve done something wrong. But you’ve got to have a smile that says you’ll do it again.” I found the look that he described, and he smiled. “Perfect,” he said.
“Carl,” I said. “Did you ever notice how dramatic you are?”
“Penny, my dear,” he answered, “I not only notice, but I do it on purpose.” With a smile on both of our faces, we headed for my room.
The rest of the day was much easier than I’d expected. I had conversations with all the parents, and when I laughed about something, it was real laughter, not forced. I enjoyed myself for the first time in weeks.
We talked about many things, including life in and out of the Academy. At one point, my mom talked about one of her charities.
“The people that we’re helping… it’s so sad how impoverished they are. The children have to share rooms! Can you believe that? And some of them don’t even have dishwashers- they have to wash them all by hand! It really is sad.”
I tried not to snort. I thought about the people living in poverty before the New World. No meals, no shoes, no anything. It was shocking that, in this new country, poverty was not having a dishwasher.
When the disease spread, scientists and doctors worked hard to find a cure, or a vaccine. Once found, it was very expensive. Only the rich got their hands on the vaccine, and few who didn’t have it made it out alive.
It was because of this that the poverty line was set so high. When everyone is rich, someone must be poor.
Another conversation we had was about Jack and I as children. It started when my mom looked at the chocolate milk that she was drinking.
“Oh, I just remembered another great story!” She leaned in towards the table so that everyone could hear. “When Jack and Penny were little, one day I put them down for a nap, and then went to go take a shower. When I was done, I went into the kitchen and they were both there, taking a bath in chocolate syrup!”
Jack and I just looked at each other, rolled our eyes. People laughed, but my mom was laughing the hardest.
When the parents asked us about our life here, we just tried to steer the conversations in a different direction. It was hard to do at a moment’s notice, figure out what kind of things could be said in front of the parents. So we tried to avoid all conversation about life at the Academy.
When it was time to go to bed, I was actually a little disappointed to see everyone leave my room. Carl was the last to go.
“Thanks for everything today, Penny,” he said. “I had a lot of fun.” I gave him a hug, and told him that I’d had fun as well.
“Carl, I want to thank you for making today easier. Especially out in the hall… you made this pretending thing easy and fun instead of hurtful and exhausting. Thank you so much.” I put another kiss on his cheek, and watched as he walked back to his room.
The next morning, I woke up early. “Good morning, Macy,” I said when she finally got up. “How did you sleep?”
“Very well,” she said, looking at me suspiciously. “Why are you so happy this morning? I haven’t seen you up in time for breakfast in weeks. You don’t have a fever, do you?” She came over to feel my forehead, and I pushed her hand away with a laugh.
“Macy, I’m fine. I just had a lot of fun yesterday, and I’m hoping today will be at least something like it.” She went back to her side of the room to get ready for the day, and I started pulling out my uniform. I thought about the day before, and all the ups and downs. The thing that my thoughts lingered on for the longest, and kept going back to, was the visit from Collin.
I knew that I definitely had a crush on him, if not something more. When he’d leaned over me, I had felt the fluttery feelings in my stomach grow stronger, as if I was about to explode. I’d felt like in order to breathe, I needed that kiss. Of course, that obviously wasn’t true. He didn’t kiss me, and I still survived. But that feeling, the need and the desire… I wanted to feel it again, but only for a second. I wanted that feeling to be followed closely by the feeling that my strongest desires and my most desperate wants had been fulfilled. More than anything I’d ever wanted, I wanted that kiss.
I scrolled through some Memories to see how I was supposed to react if I had a crush on a boy.
“Is that Jaaacob?” a friend teases, and the first girl blushes.
“Be quiet. I’m not supposed to talk to him. I’m not allowed to date. And if my mom finds out, she’ll take me out of school. I can’t even sit by him at church because of how paranoid she is.” Her friend laughs.
“You’re such a good kid. You’re not even dating him. You’ve made sure that he knows that you’re not allowed to date. You’re just talking to him. There’s nothing wrong with that.”
“My mom won’t understand that, though.

I stopped looking at the Memory then. I realized how similar my situation was to hers, even though they were completely different. We were both crushing on someone, and we both had to keep it a secret. If her mom found out about Jacob, she’d be in trouble. If the Academy found out about Collin… I shuddered. Who knows what could happen?


I saw Macy looking at me like I was crazy, so I stopped daydreaming and finished changing.
I walked down the hall after getting dressed, and headed to Carl and Jack’s room. On the way there, I ran into Collin.
“Whoa. Someone throw up again?” I asked, half joking.
“Actually, yeah,” he said. “It was Carl. He said he woke up and immediately didn’t feel good so he just stayed in bed. But, I guess he still threw up. Now I have to take all these sheets and wash them. Great start to morning,” he said sarcastically, but also lightheartedly.
“Oh geez. Today should be fun, then,” I said. “Taking care of my sick fiancé, who I have to pretend to be in love with. Wonderful.” We talked for a few more minutes, until I heard my mother’s voice.
“Penny,” she said. “Oh, who’s this? Another friend?” she asked. I nodded, and she extended her hand to him. He shook it, and then they both looked at me expectantly.
“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’m sorry. Collin, this is my mom. Mom, this is Collin. He’s a good friend that’s helped me through a lot. He’s usually not around at this time of day, because of his job. But I guess Carl threw up, so Collin came to clean it.” She looked alarmed for a minute, but Collin assured her that when he’d left the room, Carl had looked fine.
“Well, I better get going,” said Collin. “I’ve got to wash these, and I shouldn’t keep you guys from your family.” Without hesitation, he stepped forward and hugged me. When he stepped back, his gaze shifted from me to my mom. “It was nice to meet you, ma’am. See you later, Penny.”
As we watched him leave, my mom started nudging me. “He’s pretty handsome, don’t you think?” she said.
“I’m not going to say that I haven’t noticed his good looks, because I really don’t want to lie to you. But I am getting married soon, and I really don’t think it would be appropriate for me to comment on it.” I started walking towards Carl and Jack’s room, and she gave me several sideways looks. I stopped walking. “What?” She laughed.
“It just looks like you and Collin are really good friends. I think he likes you.” I shook my head, but she nodded. “Yes, he definitely does. I’m sure he’s disappointed that you are marrying Carl.”
“No. Collin knows how much I love Carl. He understands that we love each other and that we’ll be very happy together.” I couldn’t look at her as I said this. Not a single word of it was true, and I was tired of lying to my mom. We didn’t say anything else for the rest of the trip to the room.
When we got to the room, I pushed open the door without knocking. “Carl, are you alright?” I asked immediately. “I saw Collin in the hall on his way out, and he filled us in on what happened.” Carl explained that he was fine, and that he’d probably just had something bad to eat. I stayed by his side until we went to breakfast. Then I told him to go find a seat, and I got him a tray of food. In line, I stood next to Mary.
“Hey,” I said. “I haven’t seen you in a few days. How have you been?” We talked for a few minutes, and she and her parents had breakfast with us.
There wasn’t much conversation throughout the meal, as everyone was still waking up. After breakfast was over, we were walking to the first floor when Jack, Mary, Carl, and I were pulled to the side by a couple of Vipero. “You guys need to go to class when you get down there. Report to B5, Section A, and you’ll receive further instructions when you get there,” said the taller of the two.
Instead of asking the questions that I wanted to ask, I bit my tongue and followed the others down the stairs, then down the hall. We left our parents at their rooms, which were just DarkRooms that had been converted to bedrooms.
As soon as our parents were gone, Mary and Jack’s hands separated, as did mine and Carl’s. “This week has been so exhausting!” complained Mary. I felt the same way, only I wouldn’t have expressed that feeling when it was only the second day. It would have made me a whiner, a complainer, and a quitter.
“Well, it’ll be over in a few days,” said Carl. He had bags under his eyes, and I knew he hadn’t gotten any sleep the night before.
“These two days have drained every ounce of energy from me. I don’t know how I’m going to make it. I mean, no offense to you or anything, Jack, but it’s hard to pretend to be in love with you.”
Jack winced when she said that, and I felt my face getting hot. “Well, little Miss Prissy,” I said, “I don’t think he’s having a very good time pretending to be in love with you. He may not be the perfect guy, but there is absolutely nothing wrong with him. You should be grateful

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