Finding a Way by Marie Fitzgerald (black books to read .TXT) 📖

here for my taste. I think everyone would like to think that we’re gonna get to our next location in the next day. So Alabama isn’t really an option, and neither is Maine.”
Red looked torn between us two for a second, but decided to side with Shane, must to my anger and frustration. “Does anyone have any relatives there? Or ever really stayed there for a long time?” He asked the whole group, looking at everyone, except for me. Either because he knew that we had never been to either one of those states, except for passing through Oklahoma to get to Texas, or because he just didn’t want to see my death glare at the moment. I’m like Medusa, one look in the eyes and then you are gone forever. Of course, that’s only when I have my death glare on…and people don’t actually turn into stone when they see me.
The last one in our group to join into our conversation, Jasmine, finally spoke and mentioned “my godmother lives in Oklahoma.”
I was relieved on some level because I’ve heard that Oklahoma is a lot like Kansas, flat grasslands with absolutely nothing good about it. Nebraska actually has some mountains and other landscapes that are worth seeing. I’m sure that the people of Kansas and Oklahoma are perfectly fine people, but their choice of living in such a bland environment doesn’t make it any easier for me to respect them. People are hard enough for me to respect, but when their life choice are just so…boring, it’s much harder for me to respect them.
“Well Oklahoma it is then.” Red announced.
I crossed my arms in disgust. How could my own brother turn on me like that? Why didn’t they just get married if they liked each other so much? I shook the thought out of my head. First off; nasty. Second; Shane would end up being my brother-in-law. Third, they would last maybe a year before they separated. I think it’d be much better (for all of us) if they both just stayed friends. Their personalities are great as friends, but would clash too much if they were a couple.
Wait…why was I even having thoughts about this? I shuddered.
Instead of having his emblematic smug look on his face like any other guy in this goddamn world would, he looked forlorn in spite of his conquest. What the heck was that about? All the guys in this group loved winning a debate against me, if any one of them loved it the most, then it would be Shane. What made it any diverse this time?
“We’ll stock up on supplies and food tomorrow.” I said. “Me and someone else will take the truck and go into Reno and then we’ll come back. That way everyone else can get some more sleep rather than have everyone go. Who wants to go with me?”
I didn’t even bother looking at Red or Shane. Red would take up any chance for him to sleep in a little longer. Shane…well for evident reasons he wouldn’t bother volunteering. Also, as the two oldest males in the group, they liked to stay with the majority so that they could protect them. I could say that for sure about Red, but I don’t know about Shane. Being the oldest female, I always took over the stuff like grocery shopping. If I wasn’t here and let any of the guys do the grocery shopping, we would be screwed. Even though I memorize everything that I need to buy, I still keep a list handy just in case; they don’t keep a list and they don’t remember squat when it comes to the significant stuff. Red could tell you the year of any car that comes along the road, but he can’t remember to buy a lousy tube of toothpaste and we have to brush our teeth without any toothpaste that night.
“I will!” Jonas volunteered, making me beam.
“Okay, that’s great,” I said, giving him a thumbs up.
Jonas at twelve years old, well…I guess you could call him our nerd. But you would never be able to tell that he was a nerd if you didn’t hear him open his mouth. He looks just like Red did when he was twelve; future in sports. Any sport that he chose, he would have excelled greatly in it. At 5’8, he was almost taller than me…at twelve! Sadly though, that’s sports future wasn’t going to work out for him. Except for the differences in looks, I’m amazed at how much he’s like Red used to be around this age. And maybe the differences in smarts too. Sure, Red was good at school, but not great. But the height, laid-back attitude, enjoying the youth, but at the same time defending his ‘manliness’ if it was threatened.
I want Jonas to stay like this, I do not want him to become like what Red is becoming now. He’s always been the protector, that’s for sure. And that’s what he still is now. But he has become different, more aggressive with anyone who even dares cross our paths, shooting someone if he feels that someone might hurt one of us. Thing is, most of those people end up not being a threat. Not to say that I have never killed someone, because I have. But I only do it in the absolute necessary cases, when I’m completely sure that they’re out to get one of my family members. The problem with Red; he doesn’t feel any guilt like I do. It’s like he doesn’t care that he took someone’s life. A human life. The fact that he doesn’t feel hardly any remorse, well, it really scares me sometimes.
***
The sun had gone all the way down by now, taking away all warmth away with it. The fire was dying down too. I think that everyone was about to call it a night because no one was talking or singing or telling stories or roasting marshmallows. Earlier, the guys had packed up the tent that they had slept in for the last couple of days in this Nevada wilderness. They would be sleeping with us girls in the RV tonight. This way we wouldn’t have to worry about it tomorrow.
Our little ray of sunshine, Grace, decided to get a little searing hot now. “Shane?” She asked, a little too sweetly…sickly sweet.
“Yes, sweetie?” He replied, everyone looked at the two of them, glad that there was finally a conversation going on. He still didn’t fool me with the ‘sweetie’ crap.
“Micah wants to know if you’ll take off your shirt so she can see yours abs.” Grace announced, sending a sinister smile Micah’s way.
“Grace!” Micah gasped.
What abs? I thought.
“I have absolutely no control over what I hear if you let down your mind blocks.” Grace defended. Though, it still wasn’t right for her to use other people’s slipped up thoughts against them, it’s just wrong. I know I’ve thought many things that I wouldn’t want anyone to know about, that’s for sure.
Anyways, we all had constant mind blocks up, it was just part of our typical day and it was completely unproblematic for almost everyone in our group. If we wanted to talk to Grace without talking our loud, it took some effort to take down the mind blocks and then put them back up again. But Micah had only been with us for a month, give or take a few days, and so it was still a little intricate for her to keep her blocks up. But she was practicing, for one thing. If you’re going to do anything while you’re with us, it’s learn how to put up mind blocks, or else you suffer complete exposure of yourself all the time. Otherwise, there’s a evil, psychotic seven year old lurking around in your mind, waiting for your deepest, darkest secrets to come up…like the time you pulled the fire alarm while no one was watching, or maybe the time you caught someone else’s hair on fire on a fieldtrip.
“I’m flattered, really I am. But you’re a little young,” Shane responded, trying to make a joke out of the whole ordeal. What an idiot!
Micah was up and out of her chair before another peep was out of anyone. No one said anything after wards or did anything. I sighed and looked at Grace, giving her a disapproving look. “That really wasn’t necessary,” I told her.
She pressed her lips together. “Sorry,” she apologized, and she earnestly meant it too. “But it was just the perfect thing to break the ice.”
“Honey, I think the only thing that you did tonight was thicken the ice,” I stood up.
I was up and after Micah now. Why? A) No one else was going to do anything about it either because they didn’t know what to do, they would muddle things up even more or they didn’t want to really get in the center of some stupid teen girl melodrama. B)it wasn’t as stupid as everyone in the group thought it was (except for the fact that she was crushing on freaking Shane). I did remember being fourteen…a little anyways before I had to go on the run. But, I did remember being thirteen quite clearly, which isn’t a huge difference from being fourteen, as far as I’m concerned. But all I remembered about being infatuated with guy two or three years older than me was that they turned out to be total jerks and a waste or your precious time. You have a restricted time on this earth, why waste it on guys that aren’t going to give a damn until you’re twenty or even thirty? On the other hand, I guess it’s just part of being a normal teenage girl. I wouldn’t really know because I gave up my youth a couple months after I turned fourteen. Jazz was thirteen, but didn’t give diddly squat about guys at all. So obviously she wasn’t going to be much help. If anyone was going to be any help, I was the best nominee.
“Wait, I’ll talk to her.” Shane showed up at my side in the blink of an eye. I still had to get used to that super speed stuff, it can really get to you sometimes.
Luckily we were a couple dozen yards away from the rest of the group, so no one would hear what I was about to say. Because I’m sure that they wouldn’t like it.
“I think you’ve done enough to the poor girl for one night,” I whispered. This time, it wasn’t just about my hate for him, it was really true. He hadn’t exactly handled it very well before, and going after her was only going to make it worse.
“Come on,” he insisted.
I wasn’t budging with this situation. Nope, not a chance. No way in hell was I going to let that take place.
“You could have handled that a little differently,” I scolded. “Be glad that she’s holding onto something normal. Having useless, pointless crushes is part of the early high school age. Though why she has to choose you, I don’t understand. You’re not going to fix things, you’re just going to make them worse.”
I’d been so stressed about all the normal things (i.e. food, shelter, safety) and now I was even more pissed at Shane than I typically was, and now I was totally concerned about Micah and her sanity. Very little of us still held as much sanity as she does, and I wanted her to hold on to it as long as possible. With all of these things swarming around in my mind, I cringed when he grabbed my arm to halt me from going to check on Micah.