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I know I should be sorry but I’m not I just burry my head in my pillow and close my eyes and hum the lullaby grandma use to sing to me when I was little.
I got out of the bed and went downstairs. Mom was sitting at the kitchen table drinking coffee and eating dry toast. She looked up at me. “Good Morning Jay, glad you can join me.” I smiled weakly. I sat at the table in poured orange juice. I didn’t say nothing I just slowly drunk my orange juice. “Jay, mom said breaking the silence. I’m worried about you not eating. Look at how skinny you are its really scaring me and when you do eat you only eat a little.” I just looked at her. I couldn’t say nothing I wanted to but the words wouldn’t come out. “Oh my gosh now you’re mute.” She go up from the table and left me sitting there looking dumb founded. I got up from the kitchen table and went out the back door and ran until I reached the beach. I lay on the sand and looked at the people laughing with their family. I knew once mom found out that I left she would freak out but I didn’t care. I feel asleep on the beach when I woke up it was dark. I got up and started running.
I open the door as quietly as I could. Mom was sitting in the chair in the living room sleep with the phone in her hand. I quietly tip toed up the stairs. I went to my bed and lay down. I put my iPod on and listened to music. I was falling asleep and mom slammed my door. I jumped up and got out of bed. I opened my door mom was standing right beside the door frame. “JAYLA where the hell have you been, I’ve been worried sick. Giving somebody fucking heart attacks having me call your father. This shit is definitely not funny you better start answering some questions.” “Mom I’m sorry I went to the beach and I fell asleep there. I woke up and I knew you were going to be mad so I didn’t wake you up.” Mom couldn’t even look me in the eye. “Jayla pack your bags, you’re about to go stay with Margaret for awhile. You’ll be leaving tomorrow.” I just nodded my head and went in my room to start packing my clothes. I wasn’t happy that I was leaving with all this in the air but it was nothing I could do about it. I went to lie back down.
In the morning mom woke me up to go downstairs with her and have breakfast. I got up I wasn’t hungry but I forced myself to eat anyways. We sat at the table in silence the only thing you could hear was our forks moving on the plate. When I got done eating mom was ready to drive to the air port. “Baby your daddy will meet us at the air port so go get your bags and make sure you got everything that you need.” I run upstairs and look over everything and make sure I’m not forgetting anything and I got my bags and went downstairs. Mama was already getting ready to go to the car. I followed her out the door and threw my bags in the trunk.
When we got to the air port daddy was already there sitting in his car. He got out when he seen us and came to the car to get my bags. “Hey sweetie, I hope you enjoy your trip to your Aunt’s Margaret.” I just nodded my head at daddy and smiled. We went inside daddy and mama both gave me hug and a hundred dollars each. “Well honey, I’m going to miss you I hope you have fun. Don’t forget to call me every night or at least every other day.” “Ok, I’ll call you every other day, mama. Thanks for letting me go.” They were announcing my plane I hugged them again and I walked away from them. I got on the plane and took a seat, another guy that looked my age sat right beside me. “Hey, I hope it’s alright if I sit right here.” I shook my head. “No it’s ok,” I put my iPod on and start listening to my music. “Hey is that Paramore?” I smiled, “Yeah it is this is my favorite band. If you want me to turn it down I can.” “No, I like Paramore there my favorite band too.” “Oh cool, if you don’t mind me asking where you about to go?” “Oh I’m going to Missouri, Saint Louis.” I start laughing, “Oh cool that’s where I’m going. That is such a coincidence. I’m going to spend the summer with my aunt though.” I stopped talking and sat back a lady came over with a tray and a note. It was from my mom and she was talking about how she knows that I’m not eating and something must be wrong I must becoming anorexic. So I just took a fork full of the spaghetti on my plate. “Are you sick, that’s all you’re going to eat? I didn’t mean to be noisy but I read the note. Are you anorexic?” “No I’m not, why does everybody think I’m sick because I don’t eat? Actually I don’t know if I’m anorexic it’s like I try to make myself eat but I just can’t. Yeah I know it’s seriously something wrong with me.” “No its not, you just don’t know why you can’t eat people go through stuff all time. Just please try to eat I don’t want you to fall out or anything.” I smiled and tried to eat the spaghetti. “What is your name?” He laughed, “Oh we never did introduce ourselves my name is Dylan.” “Mines is Jayla, nice original name.” I ate all the spaghetti and Dylan laid back on the seat. I just took out my notebook and wrote and doodled.

Chapter 2

We finally made it to Arkansas. We got off the plane. I waved bye to Dylan. “Oh Dylan, don’t forget to call me we can do something together.” “Yeah I won’t.” I saw Aunt Margaret coming towards me. She ran to me and squeezed me, “oh my gosh look how skinny you are. So how are you?” “Hi Aunt Margaret, I’m good and so happy to be here.” She just smiled and starts walking to her little blue car that was a bug it looked just like her. Not literally but it seemed just like the kind of car she would be driving. She lived in a huge house a pretty yard. She was an organization freak. Every book in her house was alphabetized on the wall so you could know where to find it. “Come on now girl, let me show you to your room.” We walked way down the hall. “Ok this is your room, its way down here so you can have your privacy. I’m not the nosey kind of person. So you don’t have to worry about me snooping around in your room a less I start getting suspicious about things. Even then I won’t right away I’ll ask and if it seems like you can’t tell me. Then that’s my last resort of betraying all of your trust.” She let out a big sigh then smiled. “Now girl what have you been eating. It looks like nothing.” I let out a weak smile. “I just haven’t had an appetite for nothing really.” She nodded her head. “Well come on lets go downstairs and fix us a sandwich. Don’t worry all that stress was causing your appetite to disappear.” I smiled at her and we walked down to the kitchen which was absolutely beautiful.
**
After the long day of her helping me unpack all my stuff and getting settled in. I decided to go explore the country side in Louisiana for my first time. It was beautiful her just a small city. Everybody is laidback but I liked it here. I was starting to never want to go back home. Living in the country life is somewhat difficult. It’s not like being on the beach what you’re use to. I like it though it feels more open and it you can think. You can smell the grass instead of smelling the salty water from the beach. You don’t have to worry about the abundance of people coming from a long exciting day from the beach. Even though it still has its ups like going there at night when no one is really there, just clearing your mind not thinking about all those problems that I always have. It’s like you left them before you stepped foot on the beach. I guess I’ll find a new place here where I can clear my head and relax. I was walking through this place that seemed like a back road. When I ran into Dylan who was sitting on this rock throwing pebbles into a pond, he was relaxed. I tapped him on his shoulder and he jumped and turned around. “Hey stranger, you found me. I guess it’s great to be in a small city. It’s not what I’m use to. Being from New York, the big apple, my mom always wanted to stay in a small town.” I smiled and sat by him. “Yea, well staying in Florida by the beach is awesome. We always have a lot people go there for vacation. Miami is pretty busy; people come there all the time. It has a lot of business there. My mom owns a restaurant so she is always busy. I guess that’s part of the reason for me wanting to get away. The other half is because my mom and dad divorced last year. My dad doesn’t have time for me with his new family and all. Of course my mom doesn’t with her restaurant. I’m sorry I’m just going on forever.” “Oh it’s, it’s just nice to have somebody to talk to. I was just sitting here about to go dirt bike riding. You want to come? It should be fun; maybe I can teach a little something.” I rolled my eyes at him. “Whatever maybe I can teach you something. It may not look like it but I have major dirt biking skills. As long as I don’t get hurt and of course don’t forget I can’t break a nail. I just got these done don’t want to have to hurt you.” He starts laughing. “Well come on, so you can show me what you got. The bikes are right in the shed over here.” I couldn’t help but look at him while we were walking to the shed. His pretty blonde hair and blue eyes he is just so sexy. I can’t believe I’m falling for white boy. I mean I’m not racist but how my family acted when my cousin Jaycee fell for this white boy and they got married. “You know what, he says. Cutting my thoughts off. You have pretty eyes they are like this greenish color and don’t take this offensive. I never saw a black girl with pretty eyes like yours.” I smile and look at him. “I was just thinking the same. I mean about your eyes. I love blue eyes, well blue everything. “Well since you like blue you can ride the blue dirt bike. I’ll ride this red one. I get on the bike and put on the helmet. We ride seems like forever me passing him. He passing me, getting up those dirt mounds is so hard. We finally stop, “I guess that’s enough and you’re pretty good at riding. For you to be
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