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“No, I’m still in a hurry.”
“You won’t git another chance ter pray with as lively a man as I am.”
“I suppose not.”
“Ain’t you got a bottle in that kyarpet-bag?”
“No.”
“Look an’ see.”
“I know I haven’t.”
“Wall” (with a disappointed sigh, as we touched the other side), “here we air. I oughter charge you double price.”
“Why so?”
“Becaze you ain’t got no fun in you. Good-by.”
(Sebastian Evans: Longmans.)
King Solomon ben David, the Wise, on whom be peace, was a mighty player at the chess before the Lord. And he sent unto Vaphres, King of Egypt, and Nabonassar, King of Babylon, and Shalmaneser, King of Assyria, and unto others of the Kings round about, whether they were friends or whether they were enemies; Hadad, King of Edom; Hiram, King of Tyre; and Reson, King of Damascus, who alone of the princes of Syria refused to bend the knee to the King of Israel, saying: “Greeting from my lord Solomon, King of Israel, who desireth to play with thee at the chess. And whosoever among ye is minded to play with me at the chess, either I will come unto him, or otherwise, if he will, he shall come to me at the House of Millo, in Jerusalem; and if he win of me a game he shall have ten of the cities of Israel of them that are nighest his own borders; but an if he lose, he shall forfeit me ten cities of those of his own country that are nighest the land of Israel.” And King Vaphres, which is Pharaoh, and the other Kings played with King Solomon, and the Lord gave King Solomon the upperhand of them all, so that he gat fifty walled cities beyond the borders of Israel, and made broad the borders of Israel from the River Euphrates unto the land of Egypt, so that he ruled all the kingdoms, as it is written, even from Tiphsah unto Uzzah.
And it came to pass after a time that there was no man so bold that he durst adventure to play King Solomon at the chess unless he should give him the advantage, as three of the foot soldiers, or an elephant, or a camel of the right hand and a knight of the left, or the like. And all of his viziers and all the poets and musicians of the Temple he made a-weary of their lives because of disappointment. For he would say, “O, such an one, do thou play me at the chess, and I will give thee three or four, as it might be, of my fighting men; and if thou win the game of me I will give thee a garment of broidered work of Hind worth a thousand pieces of gold, or a sword of the steel of Cathay with a hilt wrought of a single emerald, such as no King hath in his treasury, or a charger of the colts of the dams of Arabia by the steeds of the sea.” So they played at the chess with the King, and when he had won the game of any of them, then would he laugh and say: “Behold, I leave thee thy robe, for it is not meet for a King to take aught of his servants,” and he bade them fill him wine that he might forget the bitterness of his heart.
But after a time it came to pass that the King was weary of playing with his viziers and the poets and musicians of the Temple, and his Judges, and the Captains of his guard, and would fain find out others, whose manner of play he knew not, to play against him at the chess. But the dread of the King was sore in the hearts of them that he called to play against him, and he said, “Behold, they are all daunted by the terror of my wisdom, and I have no glory of all my skill; for though the gazelle be fleeter of foot than the leopard, yet ever the leopard leapeth on to the neck of the gazelle. Now therefore will I disguise me and they that play against me shall not know that they play against King Solomon.”
So he called unto him his chief vizier, Zabud ben Na, the King’s friend, and at eventide they stained their faces and put on garments as they had been merchants from Ophir, and went forth into the streets of the city. And at the corner of the King’s-avenue, which is before the House of Millo, they met a stranger clad in a rich garment of Baalbek, walking slowly as one perplexed, not lifting his eyes from the ground. And Solomon said, “Peace be upon thee, O brother.”
And the stranger answered, “Peace be upon thee, O brother, from the Lord of Peace, the One, the Merciful.”
And Solomon said, “Who art thou, and whither goest thou, for meseemeth thou art a stranger in the city?”
And the stranger said, “Men call me Jareb ben Othniel, and Vaphres, King of Egypt, this long time hath entertained me in his palace as one of his boon companions, for I am a poet and musician after his own heart; and even now am I come into Jerusalem as a messenger unto Jehoshaphat ben Abiud, King Solomon’s remembrancer, with whom I must needs be before midnight.”
Then said Solomon, “It wanteth yet some hours of midnight; come with us in the meanwhile to our lodging, and let us pass the time with wine and music.”
“I will well,” said Jareb. And when they came into the lodging King Solomon had prepared, Zabud let call for wine, and they made merry.
Then said King Solomon, “Let bring the tables, that thou and I may play a bout at the chess, and then shalt thou sing us a song of them that delight the heart of King Pharaoh.”
Then Jareb said, “Sweet is the song that closeth the eyes in sleep and giveth ease to the sick man who crieth aloud for the soreness of his pain. When he heareth my voice, the slave remembereth not his chain nor the outcast his poverty; the toiler layeth aside his work and the angry man his wrath. But as for playing at the chess at this time, I pray thee hold thy servant excused, for the One Merciful, to whom be glory, hath laid a burden on thy servant, so that he cannot lose a game at the chess even if he so would, and haply if he win a game of thee thou wilt be an-angered, and he should seem ungrateful in thine eyes for this grace thou has shown him.”
Then Solomon laughed, and spake within himself, “This minstrel is of the children of Eblis, the braggart, and the Lord hath given him into my hands that I may put his boasting to shame. Surely I shall win a game of him and pull his robe over his head, and then shall be given him a lute wherewith to comfort the sadness of his spirit.”
But the King’s lips spake otherwise than the thought that was in his heart, and he said, “Blessed be thou, Jareb ben Othniel! I would fain lose a game unto thee, and behold, I give thee this cloak of mine own in earnest of thy victory.”
And therewithal he set upon him his cloak, which was of stuff of Tyre, with lynx’s fur, worth a hundred pieces of gold.
Then Zabud let call for tables, and King Solomon played at the chess with Jareb ben Othniel; and King Solomon’s men were of the white and Jareb’s of the black. And Jareb played without thought, as one that could but little of the chess, so that in a brief space King Solomon had taken prisoner both his elephants and a knight and a camel, besides four of his foot soldiers, while Jareb had taken but one foot soldier of King Solomon.
And Solomon said, within himself, “There is no glory in playing with a foolish lutanist such as this. Shall leviathan put forth his strength against the gadfly? I will contrive a combination and make an end of him.” So he made a combination and took his captain.
Then Jareb rose up and made as though he would go. And Solomon said unto him, “Whither away? for the game is not yet played out.”
Then Jareb said, “O, my lord King Solomon, when thou walkest abroad the herbs of the field, from the cedar of Lebanon to the hyssop on the wall, find themselves a tongue to tell thee of their several virtues, yet hast thou not heard the voice of these chess men. See now and behold if thy servant should move yonder foot soldier on to the next square, where would my lord the King be then?”
And Solomon looked at the tables, and behold if his adversary should play his foot soldier on to the next square the King was checkmated without redress.
And when he understood that his name was known of Jareb and that he was defeated, a mighty wrath gat hold upon King Solomon, and the world was straitened upon him. And the blackness of the tempest was in his forehead, and his voice was as the thunder in the hills. And he drew his sword and smote off the head of Jareb as he stood.
Then said he to Zabud, “Cast me this dog’s carrion into the ditch without the city, that the fowls of uncleanness may feast themselves therewithal.”
But behold there was no dead body, neither any blood; and Zabud said, “May God, to whom be glory, preserve my lord the King. Verily this man was a sorcerer.”
“Nay,” said King Solomon, “he was no sorcerer, for always the jewel of my girdle warneth me so often as one who useth witchcraft cometh into my presence; yet as at this time it spake not. But said he not that he was bound unto the house of Jehoshaphat, our remembrancer? Haste thee thither and bring tidings whether thou hear of him.”
So Zabud went to the house of Jehoshaphat, and asked at the gate whether such an one had been there. And the master of the gate made answer and said, “O my lord, of a truth such an one hath been here but even now, and he went in unto my lord, and even as he bowed his head to salute him my lord groaned thrice and gave up the ghost.”
So Zabud returned to King Solomon and told him all the tidings. And King Solomon rent his garments for the death of Jehoshaphat and said, “See now, this dog hath told me I know less than naught, yet knew he less than naught himself, otherwise would he never have thought to bear a message to a dead man. May God not have mercy on his soul.”
Now, it was about a seven years’ space, and King Solomon again disguised his countenance and went forth with his chief vizier to seek one to play at chess with the King. And as they walked along the covered way of the Thousand Fountains that leadeth to the House of Lebanon, at the corner of the street called Yellow there met them a damsel, as it were a moon, and her countenance was as a treasure house of the beauty of the elements. Her hair was golden as the flames in the circle of fire that is the uttermost girdle of the world; her eyebrows were as rainbows and her eyes as the stars of the air; her nose and cheeks were as flowers of the earth, white and red as roses in the rose gardens of Sharon, and the mole thereon of the color of the soil of Eden; her lips were as the coral of the Seven Seas, and her teeth as pearls of the waters of El Kerker; her garments
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