A Mad Marriage by May Agnes Fleming (best ebook reader android .TXT) đ
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month is up in a week. Iâll never live another with you, my pretty,
mysterious little mistress.â
Her eyes lifted suddenly, and fixed themselves on my face as I thought
it. Did she divine my very thoughts? The faint smile that was on her
lips almost made me think so.
âJoan,â she said, in her pretty, imperious way, âcome here, child; I
want to talk to you. You have been a good and faithful companion in all
these dreary, miserable months, to a most miserable and lonely woman.
Let me thank you now while I think of it, and before we say good-by.â
âGood-by!â I repeated, completely taken aback. âThen you are going
away?â
âGoing away, Joan; high time, is it not? All is over nowâthere is
nothing to fear or hope any more. One chapter of my life is read and
done with forever. The day after to-morrow I go out into the world once
more, to begin all over again. Up to the present my life has been a most
miserable failureâall but four short months.â She paused suddenly; the
dreary, lovely face lit up with a sort of rapture. âAll but four short
monthsâoh, let me always except thatâwhen he made me his wife, and I
was happy, happy, happy! Joan, if I had died three weeks ago when that
was born, you might have had engraven on my tombstone the epitaph that
was once inscribed over another lost woman; âI have been most happyâand
most miserable.ââ
I listened silently, touched, in spite of myself, by the unspeakable
pathos of her look and tone.
âAll that is over and done with,â she said, after a little. âI am not to
die, it seems. I am going to begin my life, as I say, all over again.
Nothing that befalls me in the future can be any worse than what lies
behind. It does not fall to the lot of all women to be divorced wives at
the age of eighteen.â
She laughed drearily. She sat by the window in her favorite easy-chair,
looking out while she talked, with the rosy after-glow of the sunset
fading away beyond the feathery tamarac trees and the low Canadian
hills.
âI feel something as a felon must,â she dreamily went on, half to
herself, half to me, âwho has served out his sentence and whose order of
release has come, almost afraid to face the world I have left so long. I
did not come to this house a very good woman, Joanâthat, I suppose,
you know; but I quit it a thousand times worse. I came here with a human
heart, at least, a heart that could love and feel remorse; but love and
remorse are at an end. I told him I loved him and had been faithful to
him, and he laughed in my face. Women can forgive a great deal, but they
do not forgive that. If he had only left meâif he had not got that
divorce, I would never have troubled himânever, I swear. I would have
gone away and loved him, and been faithful to him to the end.
Nowânowââ she paused, her hands clenched, her yellow eyes gleaming
catlike in the dusk. âNow, I will pay him back, sooner or later, if I
lose my life for it. I will be revengedâthat I swear.â
I shrank away from her, from the sight of her wicked face, from the
hearing of her wicked words,âthe horror I felt, showing, I suppose, in
my face.
âIt all sounds very horrible, very shocking, does it not?â she asked,
bitterly. âYou are one of the pious and proper sort, my good Joan, who
walk stiffly along the smooth-beaten path of propriety, from your cradle
to your grave. Well, I wonât shock you much longer, let that be your
comfort. The day after to-morrow I go, and as a souvenir I mean to leave
that behind me.â
She pointed coolly to the crib in the corner.
âYouâyou mean to leave the baby?â I gasped.
âIâI mean to leave the baby,â she answered, with a half laugh,
parodying my tone of consternation; âyou didnât suppose I meant to take
it with me, did you? I start in two days to begin a new life, as a
perfectly proper young ladyâyoung lady, you understand, Joan? and you
may be very sure I shall carry no such landmark with me as that of the
old one. Yes, Joan, I shall leave the baby with you, if you will keep
it, with Mrs. Watters if you will not.â
âOh, I will keep the baby and welcome,â I said; âpoor little soul!â and
as it lay in its sleep, so small and helpless, so worse than orphaned at
its very birth, I stooped and kissed it, with tears in my eyes.
âYou are a good woman, Joan,â she said, more softly; âI wishâyes, with
all my soul, I wish I were like you. But it is late in the day for
wishingâwhat is done is done. You will keep the child?â
âI will keep the child.â
âI am glad of that. It will be well with you. One day or other I will
come and claim it. Donât let it die, Joan; it has its work to do in the
world, and must do it. I will pay you, of course, and well. The money I
had with me when I came here is almost gone, but out yonder, beyond your
Canadian woods and river, there is always more for busy brains and
hands. The furniture of these rooms I leave with you to sell or keep, as
you see fit. Wherever I may be, I will give you an address, whence
letters will reach me.â
âAnd you will never returnânever come to see your child?â I asked.
âNever, Joan,âuntil I come to claim it for good. Why should I? I donât
care for itânot a strawâin the way you mean. One day, if we both live,
I will claim it; one day its father shall learn, to his cost and his
sorrow, that he has a child.â
That evil light flashed up into her great eyes for an instant, then
slowly died out: but she spoke no moreâher folded hands lay idly on her
lap, her moody gaze turned upon the rapidly darkening river and hills.
The rose light had all faded awayâthe gray, creeping, July twilight was
shrouding all things in a sombre haze. The baby awoke and cried; I had
its bottle readyâI lit the lamp and lifted it. As it lay in my lap,
placidly pulling at its feeding-bottle, its big black eyes fixed
vacantly upon the ceiling, its mother turned from the window and stared
at it silently.
With its little white face, and large black eyes, and profusion of long
black hair, it looked more like some elfish changeling in a fairy tale
than a healthy human child.
âItâs a hideous little object,â was Mrs. Gordonâs motherly remark, after
that prolonged stare; âbut ugly babies they say sometimes grow up
pretty. I want it to be prettyâIt must be pretty. Will it, do you
think, Joan? Will it really look like me?â
âI think so, madameâvery like you. Moreâs the pity,â I added, under my
breath.
âAh!â still thoughtfully staring at it, âis there any birthmark? The
proverbial strawberry on the arm, or mole on the neck, you know? that
sort of thing?â
âIt has no mark of any kind, from head to foot.â
âWhat a pity; we must give it one, then. Art must supply the
deficiencies of nature. It shall be done to-morrow.â
âWhat must be done? Mrs. Gordon, you donât surely meanââ
âI mean to mark that child so that I shall know it again, fifty years
from now, if need be. Donât look so horrified Joan,âI wonât do anything
very dreadful. One marks oneâs pocket-handkerchiefsâwhy not oneâs
babies? You may die; she may grow up and run awayâoh, yes, she may! If
she takes after her mother, you wonât find it a bed of roses bringing
her up. We may cross paths and never know each other. I want to guard
against that possibility. I want to know my daughter when we meet.â
âFor pityâs sake, madame, what is it you intend to do?â
âYou have seen tattooing, Joan, done in India ink? Yes. Well, that is
what I mean. I shall mark her initials on her arm to-morrow, exactly as
I mark them on my handkerchief, and you shall help me.â
âNo, madame,â I cried out in horror, âI will not. Oh, you poor little
helpless babe! Madame! I beg of youâdonât do this cruel thing.â
âCruel? Silly girl! I shall give it a sleeping cordial, and it will feel
nothing. So you will not help me?â
âMost assuredly I will not.â
âVery wellâBettine will. And lest your tender feelings should be
lacerated by being in the house, you may go and pay your mother and
sister a visit. By the by, you donât ask me what its name is to be,
Joan.â
âAs I am to keep it, though, supposing you donât kill it to-morrow, I
shall be glad to know, Mrs. Gordon.â
âI donât mean to kill itânever fear; I donât want it to die. If it had
been a boy, I always meantâin the days that are gone, mind youâto have
called it for its father.â
She paused a moment, and turned her face far away. On this point, even
she could feel yet.
âIt is a girl, unluckily,â she went on again, steadily, âbut I will
still call it for him. Gordon Caryllâa pretty name, is it not, Joan? an
odd one too, for a girl. Until I claim it, however, and the proper time
comes, we will sink the Caryll, and call it Kennedy. Kennedyâs a good
old Scotch, respectable nameâGordon Kennedy will do. As I said,
to-morrow I will mark the initials âG. C.â upon its arm; and whatever
happens, years and years from now, if my daughter and I ever meet, I
shall know her always, and in all places, by the mark on her arm.â
I could do nothing. My heart sickened and revolted against this cruelty,
but she was mother and mistress, and could do as she pleased. I would
not stay to see the torture; Bettine might help her or not, as she
pleased; I would go.
Next morning, immediately after breakfast, I quitted the house, and
spent the day at motherâs. In the gray of the summer evening I returned,
to find the deed done, the babe drugged and still asleep, lying in its
crib, the arm bound up, Bettine excited, Mrs. Gordon composed and cool.
âDid it cry?â I asked, kissing the pale little face.
âAh, but yes, mademoiselle!â Bettine cried, in her shrill, high French
voice; âcried fit to break the heart, until madame double drugged it,
and it lay still. The armâthe poor infantâwill be sore and inflamed
for many a day to come. It is a heart of stone. Mamâselle Jeanneâthe
pretty little madame.â
That was our last evening in Saltmarshâa long, quiet, lonesome evening
enough. I distrusted herâin some way I feared and disliked her; and yet
I felt a strange sort of compassion for the quiet little creature,
sitting there so utterly desolated in her youth and beautyâwrecked and
adrift on the world at eighteen.
She sat in her old place by the window so stillâso stillâthe fair face
gleaming like marble in the dusk, the dark, mournful eyes fixed on the
creeping darkness shrouding the fair Canadian river and landscape. It
all ended to-nightâthe peace,
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