He Who Gets Slapped Leonid Andreyev (best free ebook reader for pc .txt) š
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is not educated. When she is off her horse, any good housemaid from a decent house has nicer manners, and speaks better. Nonchalantly. Donāt you think sheās stupid?
Mancini
No, sheās not stupid. And you, He, are a fool. What need has a woman of intelligence? Why, He, you astonish me. Consuelo is an unpolished jewel, and only a real donkey does not notice her sparkle. Do you know what happened? I tried to begin to polish herā ā
He
Yes, you took a teacher. And what happened?
Mancini
Nodding his head. I was frightenedā āit went too fastā āI had to dismiss him. Another month or two, and she would have kicked me out. Laughs. The clever old diamond merchants of Amsterdam keep their precious stones unpolished, and fool the thieves. My father taught me that.
He
The sleep of a diamond. It is only sleeping, then. You are wise, Mancini.
Mancini
Do you know what blood flows in the veins of an Italian woman? The blood of Hannibal and Corsiniā āof a Borgiaā āand of a dirty Lombardi peasantā āand of a Moor. Oh! an Italian woman is not of a lower race, with only peasants and gypsies behind her. All possibilities, all forms are included in her, as in our marvelous sculpture. Do you understand that, you fool? Strike hereā āout springs a washerwoman, or a cheap street girl whom you want to throw out, because she is sloppy and has a screechy voice. Strike thereā ābut carefully and gently, for there stands a queen, a goddess, the Venus of the Capitol, who sings like a Stradivarius and makes you cry, idiot! An Italian womanā ā
He
Youāre quite a poet, Mancini! But what will the Baron make of her?
Mancini
What? What? Make of her? A baroness, you fool! What are you laughing at? I donāt get you? But I am happy that this lovesick beast is neither a duke nor a princeā āor she would be a princess and Iā āwhat would become of me? A year after the wedding they would not let me even into the kitchen laughing not even into the kitchen! I, Count Mancini, and she aā āa simpleā ā
He
Jumping up. What did you say? You are not her father, Mancini?
Mancini
Tssā āthe devilā āI am so nervous today! Heavens, who do you think I am? āHer father?ā Of course tries to laugh how silly you areā āhavenāt you noticed the family resemblance? Just look, the nose, the eyesā āSuddenly sighs deeply. Ah, He! How unhappy I am! Think of it. Here I am, a gentleman, nearly beaten in my struggle to keep up the honour of my name, of an old house, while there in the parquetā āthere sits that beast, an elephant with the eyes of a spiderā āā ā¦ and he looks at Consueloā āā ā¦ and.ā āā ā¦
He
Yes, yes, he has the motionless stare of a spiderā āyouāre right!
Mancini
Just what I sayā āa spider! But I must, I shall compel him to marry her. Youāll seeā āWalking excitedly up and down, playing with his cane. Youāll see! All my life Iāve been getting ready for this battle. He continues to walk up and down. Silence. Outside, great stillness.
He
Listening. Why is it so quiet out there? What a strange silence.
Mancini
Disgusted. I donāt know. Out there it is quietā ābut here touching his forehead with his cane here is storm, whirlwind. Bends over the clown. He, shall I tell you a strange thingā āan unusual trick of nature? Laughs, and looks very important. For three centuries the Counts Mancini have had no children! Laughs.
He
Then how were you born?
Mancini
Sh! Silence! That is the secret of our sainted mothers! Ha-ha! We are too ancient a stockā ātoo exquisitely refined to trouble ourselves with such thingsā āmatters in which a peasant is more competent than ourselves. Enter an usher. What do you want? The manager is on the stage.
The Usher
Yes, sir. Baron Regnard wished me to give you this letter.
Mancini
The Baron? Is he there?
The Usher
Baron Regnard has left. There is no answer.
Mancini
Opening the envelope, his hand shaking. The devilā āthe devil! The usher is going.
He
Just a minute. Why is there no music? This silence.ā āā ā¦
The Usher
It is the act with Madame Zinida and her lions. He goes. Mancini is reading the Baronās note for the second time.
He
Whatās the matter, Mancini? You shine like Jacksonās sun.
Mancini
Whatās the matter, did you ask? Whatās the matter? Whatās the matter? Balancing his cane, he takes steps like a ballet-dancer.
He
Mancini! Mancini rolls his eyes, makes faces, dances. Speak, you beast!
Mancini
Holds out his hand. Give me ten francs! Quickā āten francsā āhere, come on. Puts it automatically into his vest pocket. Listen, He! If in a month I donāt have a car of my own, you may give me one of your slaps!
He
What! Heās going to marry? Heās decided?
Mancini
What do you mean by ādecided?ā Laughs. When a man has the rope about his neck, you donāt ask him about his health! Baronā āStops suddenly, startled. Briquet is staggering in like a drunken man, his hand over his eyes.
He
Goes to him, touches his shoulder gently. What is the matter, Papa Briquet? Tell me!
Briquet
Groaning. Oh, oh, I canātā āā ā¦ I canātā āā ā¦ Ahā ā
He
Something has happened? You are ill? Please speak.
Briquet
I canāt look at it! Takes his hands from his eyes, opens them wide. Why does she do it? Ah, ah, why does she do it? She must be taken away; she is insane. I couldnāt look at it. Shivers. They will tear her to pieces. Heā āher lionsā āthey will tear herā ā
Mancini
Go on, Briquet. She is always like that. You act like a child. You ought to be ashamed.
Briquet
Noā āToday she is mad! And what is the matter with the crowd? They are all like dead peopleā ātheyāre not even breathing. I couldnāt stand it. Listenā āwhatās that? All listen. There is the same silence.
Mancini
Disturbed. Iāll go and see.
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