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in spades. Hence, my mantra of No-Crying Monday. I laughed weakly as the tears flowed. “I hope at least he gets to see me graduate.”

Silence dangled.

I blew out a breath. “I ran into a guy today.” It was time to change the subject.

“Oh? Tell me about him.”

I wiped my nose with my hand as I straightened. “He’s”—I didn’t quite know how to describe Colton without sounding like I was in love already—“off-the-charts hot.”

Her pink lips split into a smile. “Does this boy have a name?”

Tingles broke out along my arms as I thought of him. “Colton.”

One thick eyebrow lifted. “You mean Bonnie’s son?”

My mouth fell open a tad. “You know him?”

“He stopped by this morning.”

Oh, yeah. Colton had mentioned that. “Why?”

“Bonnie made your dad her famous peach cobbler. He dropped it off. But you’re right. He’s handsome. Not many boys have shoulder-length hair.”

“Well, he’s got girls at his feet. So…”

Her head tipped to the side. “You weren’t about to say you’re not pretty enough, I hope.”

I considered myself nice looking, but I wasn’t beautiful like Amanda Gelling. Maybe Grady was right. Maybe I did look like a boy.

Nan rose and took my hand. “Come with me.”

I had no idea where we were going until something hit me. Maybe she was taking me next door to Colton.

I tugged my hand away. “I should go see Dad.”

“This will only take a minute.” She crossed the hall and went into the bathroom. “Come here, please.”

My shoulders slumped as I joined her in front of the sink.

She flicked on the lighted mirror. “I want you to tell me what you see.”

“Why? I know what I look like.” Short brown, streaked with blond and cut above my ears. Brown eyes that were red around the edges, and a nose as red as Rudolph’s.

She gripped my shoulders from behind. “Do you?”

We locked eyes through the mirror.

“I sense a bit of low self-esteem. And for as long as I’ve known you, I have yet to see someone who thinks they’re not good enough.”

I was strong and feisty when I had to be. But I was also quiet and reserved. It all depended on the situation. But maybe she was right. Since I’d laid eyes on Colton, I’d been a little out of sorts. “I just feel… I haven’t been interested in a guy before now.”

“I understand. They can bring out emotions in you that you never knew you had.”

Colton definitely did that. Since that morning, I’d experienced tingles, butterflies, heart-pounding nerves, and even sweating.

“Well,” she said, “if you need to talk, I’m a good listener. But please do me a favor. Never, ever think you’re not beautiful. Because you are.”

“What if he doesn’t see me as such?”

“Then he’s an idiot and not right for you.”

I frowned because I should have been talking about boys with Mom.

Nan rested her delicate fingers under my chin and lifted. “Smile.”

I didn’t want this to morph into a depressing convo about Mom, so I turned and hugged her. “Thank you.” In some ways, I needed her as much as Dad did. She was becoming a light in our darkness. “Nan, when that time comes, can I live with you?”

She moved strands of my hair out of my eyes. “I don’t think that’s possible. Don’t get me wrong—I would love for you to—but I think your dad has other plans.”

I shoved down the need to cry again. I didn’t want to live with his sister in California. Above all else, I couldn’t leave my friends behind. “I can talk to him.” Not that I wanted to talk about life after Dad.

“You’ll be eighteen in what, eleven months, right?”

“Yeah. End of July next year.” I’d just turned seventeen a month before. Nan had baked me a lemon cake.

“Let’s take one moment at a time. I know that doesn’t help, but we can’t look that far out. If we do, we’ll make ourselves sick. Enjoy the time with your dad as much as possible. But I also want you to have fun with your friends. It’s your senior year, after all.”

Dad grunted loudly, the sound coming through the baby monitor she had in her scrubs. That was his way of saying he needed help or wanted something.

She started for the door, pushing her glasses higher up on her nose.

“Nan, thank you for all that you do for Dad and me.”

She blinked several times, no doubt trying not to cry. “I’m so glad I took this job. I’m here anytime for you. Okay?”

“Yeah. I’ll be in to see him in a minute.” It was time to put on a happy face and get myself together, but that was becoming more and more of a challenge.

5

Twenty minutes later, I walked into our modest kitchen, the aroma of roasted chicken heavy in the air. I plucked a piece of meat off the carving board that was sitting on the small island fit for two. When we moved in, Dad had given the room a makeover—fresh coat of paint, new white cabinets, black appliances, and a sprinkle of red in the curtains I’d hung in the corner window above the sink.

I savored the juicy chicken as I glanced out our sliding glass door. Pinecones littered the grass from the trees climbing to the sky at the far end of our backyard. Azalea bushes decorated the perimeter of our fence on both sides, with several rosebushes nestled between them.

I was ready to grab another piece of the juicy meat when I heard yelling.

“I hate you.” It was Colton’s voice.

My heartbeat tripped. I inched over to the window that I realized was cracked. Nan often opened it to let out the heat from the oven.

From where I stood, part of my view landed right on Colton’s deck. The other part looked out into our yard.

“Why did you pull me out of Deer Run Academy?” Colton practically shouted. “So I could endure your shit? News flash, old man. I’m not living here if you’re going to lash out every time you

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