Apocalypse: Fairy System Macronomicon (a book to read txt) 📖

Don’t run, guilty people run, Eddie chanted to himself, maintaining a steady walk as he left City Hall, leaving past the watchful eyes of the men and women watching from the line formed around the carriages.

Eddie didn’t know who the hell had just showed up, but he was glad he was too small a fish for them to be interested in him.

***Brett Courvar***

Brett was screening the fanmail, because a distressing amount of it was of the ‘go kill yourself’ variety, and Amanda didn’t deserve that. He was better at shrugging off the hate than she was. Well, maybe not better. Just more interested.

Brett put his feet up on the steel ottoman, enjoying his post-workout sponge bath from his squadron of cute young admirers. Gotta stay in peak physical condition.

He plucked out the top letter and pried it open.

Traitors to the human race, go fucking kill yourselves, you goddamn sellouts. I got a fifty caliber bullet with your fucking name on it.

Brett flicked it into the distant fire. As if a fifty caliber bullet could do anything to either of them.

Next.

The next letter had messy handwriting on the front, was addressed to Amanda & Brett Courvar, and the return address was ‘Solmnath’.

Messy handwriting and no sender usually meant crazy death threats or rude comments about his wife. He should probably save his eyes the effort and throw it in the fire, but Brett shrugged and took a chance, prying open the letter.

Hey guys, it’s Jebediah Trapper, and boy, have I got an opportunity for you to advance your careers, you greedy sluts!

Brett read down the letter, his eyes widening as he realized it was the real thing.

“Babe!”

“Hnn?” Amanda grunted from where Ricardo and Jacob were giving her a deep tissue massage.

“You need to read this letter.”

Chapter 24: The Calm

***Emperor Pikaku, Uniter of the Continent, Ruler of Mestikos, level 327***

Chains rattled as Pikaku’s father moved his hand, telegraphing his next move.

Pikaku chose discretion, allowing his father’s Waluigi to sprint far ahead. The former emperor had chosen the character because he had the closest resemblance to a kitri’s body shape.

Pikaku had chosen Peach, because her plumage was rather salacious.

“I spanked you once, I’ll spank you again,” the withered kitri muttered, the flame of undeath flickering behind his eyes as he honked softly in amusement.

“Blue shell.”

“Nooo!”

Pikaku’s neck wobbled in amusement as the shell hit his father’s character from above, allowing him to gain the lead and the win.

“The game is mine, father. You have no choice but to accept it.”

“Accept this!” The former emperor threw the plastic controller at him, the chains rattling around his wrist.

Pikaku dodged it easily enough, catching the precious commodity on the way past. They weren’t making any more of these, after all.

Pikaku checked the time. “Mother guide me, it’s time to go already?”

“It’s been four hours?” his father demanded, glancing at the ‘Nintendo’ gifted him by his new human aristocrats. “These humans are masters of masturbatory time-wasting, aren’t they?”

“I hear they had an entire city dedicated to it.”

“If I was a thousand years younger,” his father said, clutching a boney fist.

“You’d straighten them out?”

“I’d indulge in every vice they’d invented.”

“You’ve grown more honest in death,” Pikaku said.

“And whose fault is that, eh?” his father said, motioning to the glowing manacles and collar around his wrists and neck, preventing him from escaping and wreaking havoc on the world above. There were truth enchantments in there, too.

“All joking aside, these ‘nuclear bombs’ my new aristocrats warn me of paint a horrifying picture, and with the Stitching, they are not all accounted for. I fear rebel groups of humans may try to use them to shatter the empire and carve their own territory. I wonder if I truly have the luxury of attending a party at a backwater like Solmnath.”

“Your job is to appear normal,” his father said. “Remember, you lead their minds as well as their hearts. If you express concern over these ‘nuclear bombs’, it will signal to many, many humans that you are afraid of them, and possibly spawn more of these factions who seek to leverage them against you.”

His father honked. “But seriously, how bad could they be?”

“Twenty miles wide.”

“That’s impossible.”

“You believe that’s impossible. Let me tell you something. Every human I spoke to, from my aristocrats, to beggars taken off the street without warning, was absolutely sure they existed.”

His father grunted. “When everyone else believes a thing, sometimes you must ask yourself if you’re the ignorant one. These weapons seem like the sort of thing you might want to send some of your more trustworthy enforcers after in secret. The Tekalis family comes to mind.”

“My thoughts exactly,” Pikaku said, nodding. Vresh Tekalis had been stripped of her title for refusing to answer him about to whom she’d given her Mark, but that made her more trustworthy, all things considered. She had given her word not to reveal who she’d chosen, and she would rather be punished by the emperor than break it. He would need to send some of his human enforcers after these weapons as well, because they were some of the only ones who would take the threat seriously.

“If you already knew what to do, what do you need me for, then?”

“I find it helpful to sound ideas off of you.”

“Bah.” The undead kitri grunted, waving him off. “An emperor makes his own decisions.”

Pikaku set the controller down within reach of his father, then headed for the marble arch leading to the long stairs out of the crypt.

“Before you go,” his father called after him.

“Oh?” Pikaku asked, turning.

“I don’t suppose you’d send someone down here for me to eat? I am absolutely starving. A fat little human child, perhaps? If