Marianne Elizabeth Hammer (top young adult novels TXT) 📖

from the edge of the pool. She and Sally already had their shirts off.

Precious eyeballs.

Marianne ran back inside, but Danielle came after her. She had Marianne in a chokehold before she’d even made it to the hall. “No, you don’t,” said Danielle, moving her arms down to Marianne’s waist and lifting her up. “We’re going to snap you out of this one way or another.”

“Another!” shouted Marianne, squirming to get free. “Let’s do it the other way!”

Danielle hauled her, mostly by force, back to the patio. She sat her down on a chair by the pool and stood guard off to the side. “Stay there, brat face.”

Marianne shook her head. “I’m telling you all right now, I am not taking my clothes off. I appreciate this brilliant plan, and how you’ve all managed to completely disregard my wishes and meet each other… but could we not have gone to a movie or something? And I don’t really see how this is going to help—”

Splash.

Marianne gasped and wiped the wine off her face. She opened her eyes and looked into Nana’s very serious face. “You shut your mouth, Marianne. All these nice girls got together to knock some sense into that pretty little head of yours. It’s time to stop moaning and feeling sorry for yourself. You’re starting to embarrass us.”

Marianne swallowed. “Oh.”

28

Cringe Cauldron

Marianne gulped down the rest of her glass of wine, still reeling from the fact that she was sitting naked in the spa with her mother, her Goth friends, and her crazy neighbors. They’d allowed her to turn off all the lights, but that was as far as they’d oblige her. “Nana,” she said, holding out her glass to Mom for a refill. “How come your boobs still look so good?”

“Implants. How do you think?” she said, tisking. Her thin white hair was plastered down around her head, making her look half-bald and a hundred years older. “But don’t you go and do it, Marianne. You’re big enough already. This girl, though,” she jerked her thumb toward Georgia, “she might want to think about it.”

Marianne choked.

But Georgia just nodded. “I know, right? And look—” She cupped her boobs with both hands, twisting to show everyone. “The right one is bigger. I have to pad the other side of my bra.”

“Don’t worry, hon,” said Mom. “That’s very normal.”

“Yeah,” said Danielle. “But it still sucks. Find a rich guy so you can get that taken care of.”

Nana nodded. “That’s what I did. Number four was the charm.”

“What?” said Marianne. “You’ve been married four times?”

“Something like that, yes,” said Nana. “When are you going to get going? You let this one go and you don’t even have a house to show for it.”

Marianne scooted away an inch. “You’re a little bit sick, you know that?”

“Oh, relax,” said Sally, kicking her legs up and letting them float out into the middle. “It takes practice to find the right one. Ooh! Speaking of that…” She sank her legs back down into the bubbling water and rounded on Mom. “Whatever happened to that guy you wanted to set me up with? You know, your nephew.”

“Too late,” said Marianne. “You told me no, so she told him you were gay.”

“Actually,” said Mom, reaching back for more wine. “He’s still interested.”

“You’re joking,” said Marianne. “Why on earth would—What the hell are you doing!”

Mom hadn’t been reaching back for more wine; she’d been reaching back for Georgia’s pack of cloves. And now she was lighting one. And inhaling. “I’m smoking, Mary,” said Mom. “Relax.”

“Yeah, relax,” said Sally, lighting her own.

“Gosh, Marianne,” said Georgia, pulling one out of the pack.

Danielle just blew out a mouthful of smoke from her menthol and snickered. “Anyway,” she said. “Why would he want to date a gay girl?”

Mom shrugged. “Guess he thinks he can turn her.”

“Really? That’s kinda charming.” Sally smiled and nodded. “Maybe I’ll take him to Bats Day tomorrow. He must be a confident guy.”

Marianne just shook her head. “I should say so.”

Sally exhaled sharply and pointed at Marianne. “See? That’s your problem. No cojones. You should be in awe of him; wanting to be just like him.”

“A horny, overconfident loser?”

“Yeah,” said Sally. “Better than being a horny, insecure loser like you are right now.”

Mom coughed.

“Sorry.” Sally bowed to Mom before turning back to Marianne. “An insecure loser like you are now.”

Marianne crossed her arms. “That’s harsh.”

“It’s true,” said Danielle, kicking a spray of water at her. “No one wants to be with a girl who’s always feeling sorry for herself.”

“I do not!” said Marianne.

Mom grimaced. “You kind of do, sweetie.”

Marianne’s mouth fell open. “Traitor!”

Mom shrugged.

Marianne glared at her and reached over for Georgia’s cloves. When she didn’t react, Marianne pulled one out. Then she lit it—still no reaction. Marianne inhaled…

“Okay, geez!” Mom snatched it out of Marianne’s hand. “You’re not going to go and get addicted, are you?”

“This isn’t my first cigarette, Mom.”

“It isn’t?” She stared at Marianne for a second and then handed it back. “Oh yeah, I forgot. Well… I guess you’re gonna do it, anyway.”

Marianne took it. “What the heck was that? Way to parent, Mom.”

“Oh, shut up,” said Mom, glaring back. “Are you an adult, or aren’t you?”

“Yes.”

“Then start acting like it, for Pete’s sake.” She flicked some water at Marianne. “Think about the consequences and then do what you want to do and suffer whatever happens. Enough moping around, feeling put upon by everyone.”

“I don’t do that,” mumbled Marianne, slinking away with her cigarette.

“Yes, you do,” said just about everyone.

Marianne huffed and puffed for a minute. “That’s… that’s… I do not feel sorry for myself! I feel sorry for all the jacked-up stuff I’ve done. That’s different.”

“Oh, come on,” said Danielle, shaking her head. “You know you overdo it.”

“I can’t believe I’m sitting here and taking this from a bunch of naked people.” Marianne dunked herself, leaving her cigarette hand above water. When she came up again, she wiped the water from her eyes and sighed. “Okay, maybe I overdo it a