The Best of World SF Lavie Tidhar (me reader .TXT) 📖

two of them barely slept, sustained by the flickering candlelight and Emilio’s stern stares, by the sleepless hope that left them ashen in the mornings, desolate in the first gray light falling on the stalagmites of candlewax. The dogs left in the morning, and the widow Almadao sometimes left with them, and sometimes, bowled over by fatigue, she curled up and slept on Emilio’s couch, dog hair clinging to her black, cobweb-thin mantilla. The prince dozed off in his chair and waited, waited for the dogs to come back home.

They were ready to give up on the night it actually happened – it was a dead hour after the moon had set but the sun had not yet risen, the hour between wolf and dog, when the prince started to fall asleep. A sharp tug on his sleeve woke him, and he startled, wide-eyed. He thought he was dreaming at first when he saw the brick facade and the golden letters over the double oak doors: THE BANK OF BURKINA FASO. The dogs snored in unison, and Lucita Almadao clutched her hands to her chest.

When they ran down the steps, the Bank still stood, not wavering, a solid construction hewn out of stray dogs’ dreams. The sun was rising behind it, casting a faint promise of light like a halo around the bank.

‘We better hurry,’ Lucita Almadao said.

‘Of course,’ he answered.

Side by side, they walked toward the bank, their feet leaving long blue depressions in the old snow, shivering in the cold, the knuckles on his left and her right hands almost brushing against each other.

An Incomplete Guide to Understanding the Rose Petal Infestation Associated With EverTyphoid Patients in the Tropicool IcyLand Urban Indian Slum

Kuzhali Manickavel

India

Kuzhali writes like nobody else. She has a unique style and a unique perspective, and her stories always blow me away. In truth, I am a little jealous of her! ‘An Incomplete Guide to Understanding the Rose Petal Infestation Associated With EverTyphoid Patients in the Tropicool IcyLand Urban Indian Slum’ (what a title!) was written especially for me, as it happens – I’d asked Kuzhali for a story for the Jewish Mexican Literary Review, a small literary zine Silvia Moreno-Garcia and I started. So when it came to picking one of her stories for this anthology I could not resist but take this one. If this is your first introduction to Kuzhali, then I envy you – and urge you to pick up one of her collections immediately after.

INTRODUCTION

Frequently misdiagnosed as a rash, the Rose Petal Infestation is in fact a collection of partially decayed cabbage rose petals which appear just beneath the epidermis, mainly on the hands, when EverTyphoid hits the three-year mark. The infestation itself is harmless but marks a significant turning point in the progress of EverTyphoid. While research is ongoing, studies have shown that the three-year period marks the ‘point of no return’, with the onset of the infestation being generally viewed as a sign that EverTyphoid has set comfortably and deeply among the tissues and major organs.

THE THREE WAVES

Prior to the appearance of the actual rash, Typhodic Despondency will affect the patient in three distinct waves. Each wave has a set of symptoms which last exactly ninety-two hours and six minutes. This precise timing often causes the symptoms to begin and end very abruptly, often in mid-wave.

The Primary Wave

During the first wave, the patient will compose poetry which they will describe as haikus, although they clearly are not. Do not tell the patient they are not haikus (see Case Studies on Violence Resulting from EverTyphoid ‘Haiku’-Denying, p. 792044). These haikus are generally scrawled on the inside of the arm with ballpoint pen, although the patient will insist they have been written in trickles of molten glass or via a natural splitting of the skin. Do not tell the patient that the poems are actually written in ballpoint pen (see Case Studies on Violence Resulting from EverTyphoid ‘Haiku’-Denying, p. 792049). Below are some examples of typical ‘haiku’ written during the Primary Wave.

Typhoid does not last

for three fucking years

no it doesn’t, it fucking does not

I wish that I could

just die

and get this over with

The Secondary Wave

This wave is characterized by a strong need to relocate. Patients start to pack suitcases, travel bags and inquire about bus and train timings. They will make lists and buy travel sachets of soap, toothpaste and coconut oil. They will also inform friends and family that they are ‘leaving’, though they will be unable to specify when exactly they will be leaving or where they plan to go.

Patients have also been known to try and leave by jumping onto the backs of killer whales who are in the process of hurling themselves into the sky. This has caused the affected killer whales to develop a sense of panic about hurling themselves into the sky (see I Believe I Can’t Fly – One Killer Whale’s Account of Being WhaleJacked by an EverTyphoid Patient, p. 120543).

The Tertiary Wave

This final wave is marked by attempts to commit suicide. It is generally believed that these suicidal tendencies are triggered by feelings that the patient will have typhoid forever, which they will, and that death is the only option available to them, which is illegal for EverTyphoid patients to believe (see Nuh-uh You Can’t – Understanding the Legal Limitations and Implications Of EverTyphoid, p. 44079). As it is traditionally believed that life-threatening typhoid relapses occur due to excessive consumption of protein or from exposure to rain, patients have often been found standing barefoot in thunderstorms, consuming vast quantities of hot dog wieners or keemaparotta. While death has never been known to occur, thorns may appear on the soles of the patient’s feet. Some patients may feel a root-like thickening in their veins, particularly on the back of the knees (see The Ebeneezer EntWash Syndrome, p. 975). Below is an account from a patient who had the Ebeneezer EntWash Syndrome spread to his neck and armpits.

Patient 1 ‘Chettiar