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then I look out of the window and see her sitting outside on the dock crying. I walk out and head over to her. ā€œI woke up and you were gone babeā€ I say with concern.

The sound of her cries are heartbreaking and I hate that I canā€™t help her. I sit down next to her and cocoon her in my arms. She leans into me and cries even harder.

ā€œBaby, I canā€™t help you if I donā€™t know whatā€™s going onā€ I whisper. ā€œSina, please. Tell me what happened? Did someone say something to you?ā€ I ask.

She moves back a little and says, ā€œIā€™m afraid that Iā€™m going to lose you.ā€ I donā€™t know where the fuck this is coming from but I need her to know that she is it for me.

I grab her face and say ā€œSina, look at me please. Youā€™re never going to lose me. You are it for me, however long you need for us to be just us Iā€™ll give it to you. Iā€™ll follow your lead, if you want to take things slow Iā€™m okay with that babe. Iā€™m not in any rush. I just want you to want me to be here with you. Sina, youā€™re the balance that I need in my life, so youā€™re not going to lose me.ā€ I inch her face closer to mine and I kiss her with everything that I have. I need to show her how much I need her, how much I want her in my life. She meets my kiss half way and I feel her tongue slip in my mouth and I groan. I know I said I wasnā€™t going to push her to sleep with me, but this feels different. It feels new.

She doesnā€™t stop kissing me and she starts moaning every time I sucked on her tongue. ā€œEli, I need to feel you inside of meā€ she whispers. I want so bad to give her what she wants but I know she isnā€™t thinking right.

Whatever made her be like this is fucking with her head so I say ā€œBabe, I promise you that when youā€™re ready to be with me Iā€™ll fuck you however you want me to. But right now let me hold you.ā€

She closes her eyes and says, ā€œIt wonā€™t change anything. Heā€™ll always have the pieces of me that he stole, and heā€™s never going to give them back.ā€ What the fuck is she talking about? And who the fuck is ā€˜heā€™? Before I can say anything else she gets up and walks away as the first drops of rain begin to fall from the sky.

ā€œSina!ā€ She doesnā€™t stop. I stand up and follow her to the house. I walk back to my room but she isn't there. I check the guest room and sheā€™s in there changing into jeans and a sweater. She throws her hair up in a bun and grabs her purse.

ā€œWhere are you going?ā€ She doesnā€™t say anything as she walks out of the room. Is she upset with me? I follow her to the living room. ā€œSina, where are you going?ā€ She picks up her phone and checks it. Whatever she reads in her phone must be bad because her face pales instantly. She closes her eyes and tears are slowly running down her face. Iā€™ve never felt so fucking helpless in my life; I donā€™t know what to do.

She looks at me and asks ā€œCan I use your truck?ā€

I donā€™t want her to leave the house especially when itā€™s starting to rain and the wind is picking up. But I donā€™t want her to feel like Iā€™m trying to hold her back either, so I fetch the keys off the table and ask ā€œDo you want me to go with you?ā€ She shakes her head no and I hand her the keys. ā€œShould I be worried?ā€ I ask her. She shakes her head again and I know something isnā€™t fucking right. I walk her to the truck and help her inside. I reach for her seat belt and buckle her in. I hold her face in my hands and lean my forehead on hers. ā€œPlease donā€™t shut me out.ā€ I inhale her scent and say, ā€œCome back home when youā€™re ready. You donā€™t have to tell me where youā€™re going, but If you need me call me and I will come find you. I lost you once. I am not fucking losing you again.ā€ I kiss her softly on her lips and I whisper ā€œI love you.ā€

I kiss her forehead and say ā€œBe safe and just come back home to me okay?ā€ She nods her head yes. I kiss her once more and close her door. I watch her drive away before I walk back inside and pick up my phone because I need to make a call.

ā€œPlease donā€™t tell me you fucked up already Eliā€ Reese says as he answers.

I groan. ā€œShut the fuck up man. I need you to come get me.ā€ Reese goes quiet.

ā€œWhatā€™s wrong?ā€ he asks.

ā€œI donā€™t know. Somethingā€™s wrong with Sina, but she wonā€™t tell me what it isā€ I tell him.

ā€œLeila said that you guys had a good morning, did you guys have a fight?ā€ he asks.

ā€œReese, she took my truck and I donā€™t know where sheā€™s going. I didnā€™t ask her because I didnā€™t want her to feel like I was hovering. She left here crying man and Iā€™m scaredā€ I say. Itā€™s probably one the most honest things Iā€™ve ever said and Iā€™m fucking terrified because I donā€™t know where her head is at.

ā€œShould I tell Leila?ā€ Reese asks.

ā€œCould you just ask her to try and get a hold of Sina and make sure that sheā€™s okay? Pleaseā€ I add.

ā€œIā€™m on my wayā€ he says then the line goes dead. I head to my room so I can put my sweatshirt on because itā€™s fucking cold and itā€™s now pouring rain outside. My thoughts go to Sina again, sheā€™s going to fucking freeze

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