The Ambassadors Henry James (novel24 txt) đ
- Author: Henry James
Book online «The Ambassadors Henry James (novel24 txt) đ». Author Henry James
Little Bilham wondered. âWhat do you call your dose?â
âWhy what I have to swallow. I want my conditions unmitigated.â
He had spoken in the tone of talk for talkâs sake, and yet with an obscure truth lurking in the loose folds; a circumstance presently not without its effect on his young friend. Little Bilhamâs eyes rested on him a moment with some intensity; then suddenly, as if everything had cleared up, he gave a happy laugh. It seemed to say that if pretending, or even trying, or still even hoping, to be able to care for Mamie would be of use, he was all there for the job. âIâll do anything in the world for you!â
âWell,â Strether smiled, âanything in the world is all I want. I donât know anything that pleased me in her more,â he went on, âthan the way that, on my finding her up there all alone, coming on her unawares and feeling greatly for her being so out of it, she knocked down my tall house of cards with her instant and cheerful allusion to the next young man. It was somehow so the note I neededâ âher staying at home to receive him.â
âIt was Chad of course,â said little Bilham, âwho asked the next young manâ âI like your name for me!â âto call.â
âSo I supposedâ âall of which, thank God, is in our innocent and natural manners. But do you know,â Strether asked, âif Chad knowsâ â?â And then as this interlocutor seemed at a loss: âWhy where she has come out.â
Little Bilham, at this, met his face with a conscious lookâ âit was as if, more than anything yet, the allusion had penetrated. âDo you know yourself?â
Strether lightly shook his head. âThere I stop. Oh, odd as it may appear to you, there are things I donât know. I only got the sense from her of something very sharp, and yet very deep down, that she was keeping all to herself. That is I had begun with the belief that she had kept it to herself; but face to face with her there I soon made out that there was a person with whom she would have shared it. I had thought she possibly might with meâ âbut I saw then that I was only half in her confidence. When, turning to me to greet meâ âfor she was on the balcony and I had come in without her knowing itâ âshe showed me she had been expecting you and was proportionately disappointed, I got hold of the tail of my conviction. Half an hour later I was in possession of all the rest of it. You know what has happened.â He looked at his young friend hardâ âthen he felt sure. âFor all you say, youâre up to your eyes. So there you are.â
Little Bilham after an instant pulled half round. âI assure you she hasnât told me anything.â
âOf course she hasnât. For what do you suggest that I suppose her to take you? But youâve been with her every day, youâve seen her freely, youâve liked her greatlyâ âI stick to thatâ âand youâve made your profit of it. You know what she has been through as well as you know that she has dined here tonightâ âwhich must have put her, by the way, through a good deal more.â
The young man faced this blast; after which he pulled round the rest of the way. âI havenât in the least said she hasnât been nice to me. But sheâs proud.â
âAnd quite properly. But not too proud for that.â
âItâs just her pride that has made her. Chad,â little Bilham loyally went on, âhas really been as kind to her as possible. Itâs awkward for a man when a girlâs in love with him.â
âAh but she isnâtâ ânow.â
Little Bilham sat staring before him; then he sprang up as if his friendâs penetration, recurrent and insistent, made him really after all too nervous. âNoâ âshe isnât now. It isnât in the least,â he went on, âChadâs fault. Heâs really all right. I mean he would have been willing. But she came over with ideas. Those she had got at home. They had been her motive and support in joining her brother and his wife. She was to save our friend.â
âAh like me, poor thing?â Strether also got to his feet.
âExactlyâ âshe had a bad moment. It was very soon distinct to her, to pull her up, to let her down, that, alas, he was, he is, saved. Thereâs nothing left for her to do.â
âNot even to love him?â
âShe would have loved him better as she originally believed him.â
Strether wondered. âOf course one asks oneâs self what notion a little girl forms, where a young manâs in question, of such a history and such a state.â
âWell, this little girl saw them, no doubt, as obscure, but she saw them practically as wrong. The wrong for her was the obscure. Chad turns out at any rate right and good and disconcerting, while what she was all prepared for, primed and girded and wound up for, was to deal with him as the general opposite.â
âYet wasnât her whole pointââ âStrether weighed itâ ââthat he was to be, that he could be, made better, redeemed?â
Little Bilham fixed it all a moment, and then with a small headshake that diffused a tenderness: âSheâs too late. Too late for the miracle.â
âYesââ âhis companion saw enough. âStill, if the worst fault of his condition is that it may be all there for her to profit byâ â?â
âOh she doesnât want to âprofit,â in that flat way. She doesnât want to profit by another womanâs workâ âshe wants the miracle to have been her own miracle. Thatâs what sheâs too late for.â
Strether quite felt how it all fitted, yet there seemed one loose piece. âIâm bound to say, you know, that she strikes one, on these lines, as fastidiousâ âwhat you call here difficile.â
Little Bilham tossed up his chin. âOf
Comments (0)