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having lunch here? Would you like to join us?”

Pamela opened her mouth, then closed it again.

“No… I mean, I am not having lunch. I just stepped in for a quick drink and wanted to get away from the…” She waved her hand at the public bar next door. Then she tried to smile again. “I’ll join you for a drink, then I’ll leave you to your lunch. I had better get back. Charles will be wondering…” She trailed off, then gestured at the chairs opposite her. “Won’t you join me?”

As we sat, Dehan went straight in. With a bright smile she said, “We bumped into Bee on the way down here.”

Pam sighed and looked away. “That woman!”

I said, “Have you known her long?”

“Forever!” She said it with feeling. “It feels that way, anyway.”

Dehan nodded, with big innocent eyes. “Were you at school together?”

Pam laughed without humor. “Gosh, no. I went to the local comprehensive. Lady Bee went to Benenden.”

Dehan frowned and shook her head. “What is that? Local comprehensive and Benenden?”

I let Pam explain. She sighed and there was a whiff of condescension about her. “Comprehensive school. What you would call state school. And Benenden is the private girls school that little aristocrats go to, to learn to be proper ladies.”

There was no mistaking the vitriol in her voice.

“Oh.” Dehan glanced at me. “I hope my question wasn’t intrusive…”

Pam shook her head and sighed. “No, sorry, you weren’t to know…” The barkeep came in with our pints, handed us the menu he had under his arm, and Pam said, “Bring me another G&T, would you, Len?”

“Comin’ right up, Pam!”

He went away and she flopped back in her seat. “It just gets so wearing sometimes. Keeping up the pretense. I tell you, sometimes I think, if I could turn the clock back and do it all again…”

Dehan nodded, smiling ruefully. “I hear you. I tell you.” She pointed at Pam across the table. “Sister, you can get it right a million times, but you only need to fuck up once to regret it all your life.”

Pam seemed to thaw. Her smile became more human. “You got that right. But you know? The biggest mistakes? The ones you will definitely regret all your life? They’re the ones where you are not true to yourself. It sounds cynical, but it’s true: you let somebody else down and that’s bad. You’ll regret that. But let yourself down and you will pay for it your whole life long!”

I made a face and nodded a lot. “That sounds like wisdom. I’ll drink to that.”

I raised my glass to her and pulled off a long draught while she watched me curiously.

Dehan took a long pull, then wiped her mouth on the back of her arm and looked at me wide-eyed. “Man! That is something else! This is beer?” She held up the glass in front of her face and said with feeling, “Where have you been all my life?”

Pam burst out laughing. I did too, but as my laughter subsided, Pam laughed more. It was as though Dehan had opened a valve with her sudden expostulation, and Pam covered her mouth with her hand and squealed a strange, half strangled outburst. Dehan joined in and I sat and watched them both, smiling to myself and shaking my head.

Then Dehan was leaning across the small table, gripping Pam’s arms, repeating, “This is beer? They’ve been lying to me all my life! Man! I just died and went to Scotland!”

She leaned back with a foolish grin on her face, chuckling and watching Pam through hooded eyes, while Pam wiped hers and said, “Oh! I’m sorry! I don’t know what came over me. I haven’t laughed like that… I can’t remember since when.”

Dehan’s expression changed. There was just a hint of compassion in her eyes. “Too long,” she said, and then, “Say, what’s so important? Join us for lunch.”

After a moment, she smiled and turned to me. “Do you mind? You’re on your honeymoon with this lovely lady. I don’t want to intrude…”

“You’re not intruding,” I said.

Dehan added, “Please, stay, and tell us all about yourself, your castle, your life…”

SIX

We didn’t have duck or pheasant because they were not in season and it just didn’t feel right, so we had steak and kidney pie instead. It was home made and superb. So while Dehan continued with her Oscar winning performance as a vivacious, lovable bad girl from the Bronx, soul sister to her Orkney Isles counterpart, I concentrated on my luncheon and listened. It started with an innocent question. Dehan speared a roast potato, paused and shook her head.

“I love this place, Pam. When you work cold cases, homicides in the Bronx, this is like paradise. But I have to ask you, don’t you get bored? I mean, too much paradise is like too much of anything. There are only so many times you can go and marvel at the standing stones.”

Pam heaved a huge sigh. “You have no idea.” She turned and gazed out the window, ignoring the food in front of her. When she next spoke, her accent had slipped slightly and there was more than a hint of her brogue trying to get through.

“Can I be really honest with you? I know this is kind of crazy, and maybe it’s because I’ve had a couple of G&Ts already, but I feel you’ll understand.”

Dehan reached across the table again and covered her hand. “Hey, Pam, a couple of weeks and we’ll be gone. What you tell us, stays right here, with us.”

It didn’t make a lot of sense, but it sounded good and it was what Pam wanted to hear. She squeezed Dehan’s hand and let the gin do the talking.

“When I met Charles—I mean, I wouldn’t say a word against

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