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bit and I notice how heā€™s no longer looking at the man who Iā€™m being held by. Heā€™s looking at me, and itā€™s crazy how in one moment I know this could go one of two ways.

I just hope Iā€™m still breathing by the end of it.

His Rage

M. Merin

Chapter One

Owen

A Couple years back

Lying in bed, I can only hope that whoever the fuck is pounding on the door gets a clue and leaves.

ā€œCome on, asshole,ā€ Keithā€™s deep voice carries easily through the flimsy door. ā€œGet the fuck up.ā€

ā€œIā€™m going to call the cops!ā€ I hear the old lady across the hall scream.

Across the hallā€”thatā€™s a fucking joke. The walls here are so flimsy, I hear every fucking phone conversation she has, then she gets pissed at me for blasting my music to drown her out. I got enough shit rolling around in my head without hearing her jabber away all evening.

ā€œLetā€™s get rolling. Duncan will have my ass if you miss your appointment again,ā€ Keithā€™s voice cuts through the thin door and I know heā€™d only have to shove his shoulder into it to be standing in my entryway/kitchenette.

Groaning, I pull myself to my feet and cross the small room to let Keith in. Iā€™m in briefs and probably havenā€™t showered in a couple of days but that isnā€™t what bothers him.

ā€œFuck, Owen, you know you canā€™t bring a dog back here,ā€ he says looking around, and it isnā€™t what he says, but how he stands before me in a couple thousand dollarsā€™ worth of clothes and his only concern in the world is the service dog Iā€™ve been contemplating getting.

ā€œNo, shit,ā€ I mutter. ā€œThatā€™s why I missed the last appointment. Should have fucking known that Duncanā€™s the reason I got a first, second, and third chance with that group anyway.ā€

ā€œLook, thereā€™s room . . .ā€

ā€œNo. I ainā€™t moving to that complex of his,ā€ I say, cutting him off as I try to find the words to explain how badly I need my own spaceā€”just as Agnes turns her TV on, and he raises an eyebrow at me like he knows what I am going to say. ā€œListening to her daytime shows ainā€™t the same as, well, as conversations and other shit.ā€

ā€œYou signed up for a service dog, so you must have had something in mind?ā€ Keith asks, eyeing my packed bags lined up near the door.

ā€œTheyā€™ll want to inspect where I live,ā€ I say, trying to buy time to work up to my ask.

ā€œHere.ā€ Keith reaches into his pocket and comes out with a set of keys. ā€œDuncan got a three-month lease on a cabin where you can get your shit together, then figure out what your next move is.ā€

Suddenly thereā€™s a rock or something blocking any words from coming out of my throat. I was a fucking green-ass kid when I first got assigned to Duncanā€™s unit, and while I ended up staying in the military when the chance for sniper school came up, he and half the unit went private sector but weā€™ve always stayed in touch. Especially since my honorable discharge.

I havenā€™t actually gotten a look at my file recently, but Iā€™m pretty sure ā€˜Fucked-up Messā€™ is in there somewhere. Oh, the therapists down at the VA Hospital just keep prescribing more sessions or sedatives, whatever the fuck they think they can get me to agree to. It was when they mentioned a service animal that I just kind of shrugged.

I always wanted a dog, but I donā€™t have the first fucking clue how they think an animal is going to change my life. I signed up for the program, sure, why the fuck not? The waiting list can be years long, depending on where you are.

Then Iā€™d look around and see women in restaurants feeding their tiny dogs, peeking out of Louis Vuitton purses that cost more than I made most months, pieces of meat and I feel rage flowing through my veins again.

Killing targets halfway around the world, that made sense to me. Get an order and go out to do my own recon until it came down to the quiet in the time leading up to the kill; with no one but my spotter watching my back or occasionally making a noise.

I enjoyed the quiet until that day, walking to our extraction point and Kinney triggered the landmine. I was barely able to stumble back the rest of the way, soaked in some of my spotterā€™s remains, ears ringing like a motherfucker.

The next morning I woke up in Germany and to the reality that the hearing in my left ear would never fully return.

ā€œOwen, man,ā€ Keith snaps his fingers in front of my face. ā€œFocus.ā€

ā€œYeah. Iā€™m good. I really appreciate . . .ā€

ā€œStow that shit, manā€”weā€™re brothers,ā€ he grunts out and I notice him fiddling with the phone in his left hand.

ā€œGive me five minutes,ā€ I say, turning to the bathroom after smelling my pit. That wonā€™t do, not if Iā€™m trying to impress a dog.

I can hear the muffled sound of voices as I get cleaned up and dressed, exiting within the promised five minutes, I notice my bags are missing.

ā€œCarlos was with me, heā€™s going to take your things out to the cabin in my truck, so Iā€™m riding with you,ā€ Keith informs me, holding the door open while I take one last look around. Three steps bring me to the dresser and I pull an envelope out of the top drawer and exit the room. ā€œHope your panties are clean ā€˜cause heā€™s gonna unpack your shit so it looks like you live there.ā€

Heading across town, my palms break out in a sweat as I start to worry about the questions theyā€™ll ask me and how the hell Iā€™ll be able to care for my new companion.

ā€œCome on,ā€ Keith says as I pull into a spot and hesitate before putting my truck into park. ā€œItā€™s a dog thatā€™s been trained to

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