Unity Carl Stubblefield (read book TXT) 📖

beside you in silence while you passively take it all in? That somehow that makes you less alone? I wouldn’t be surprised if you had. Ultimately, we all are alone, regardless of how we fool ourselves. Yet that still doesn’t stop the majority from chasing after some kind of validation through the acceptance of others.

“It wasn’t until I realized my own uniqueness that I cast those pursuits off forever for the wasted energy they were. That which makes me unique also isolates me. I fought against this at first, but then realized that it was an unexpected boon. Without distraction, I could accomplish so much more than before, giving the requisite time needed to placate the insecurities of everyone else.

“I usually never speak with my subjects. But when I get the rare opportunity to see my own handiwork, I must say that sometimes I even impress myself. That folding was done over ten years ago, and it looks as flawless today as it did then. I see you’ve been able to invert the fractal, what is it, two, close to three times? How many layers do you surmise there are?” Gus continued to say nothing, so Mengele shrugged and went on. “Then I’ll let you wonder. I know how many there are, but ignorance is its own reward.

“Maybe coming alone wasn’t totally your choice. It is possible that you are just so repellent that no one wanted to join you, hmm? Ah. There it is, that’s closer to the mark. I can see by your expression. Even still, a good lesson to learn early. Well, it would be if I were going to allow you to live.

“It’s better this way. Most humans are so weak that they fool themselves into a false security by propping themselves up with other pieces of straw, imagining they are somehow more sturdy and secure. If they only knew how fragile they really were, even when they feel their strongest.

“I’m sure you thought I was just monologuing, correct? Just like all the one-note villains out there. So isolated that I need to reveal my plans to just one other soul to establish my brilliance?

“But I asked you a question. Let’s try that again. How. Many. Layers?”

When Gus hesitated, he grasped Gus’ neck and pushed him down into the table.

“Fff-five.” Gus had to struggle to push the air out and guess. He didn’t think it was even audible, but finally the pressure on his windpipe relaxed enough to allow breath again.

“Wrong! But it is good, you can follow orders. I have no tolerance for those disinclined to cooperate. That will help you suffer less. Or more, depending on how you look at things.” Mengele threw back his head and laughed.

“These next steps will take some of your cooperation. Let’s see how firm your resolve is…”

Chapter Seventy-Two

Make Yourself Get Up

“This healer you mentioned in your ravings—BoJack was the name I think you said?—I will need some more information about him. The correlation of longevity that all healers possess cannot be a coincidence. I think that was part of the deficiency in my model. I assumed there were only three parts to the system, when there are possibly four, or more! I imagine you will resist giving me the information again, but such is the way of self-proclaimed heroes. Let’s see, what worked last time?” Mengele tapped his chin. “Ah yes, I think it was the needle.”

At these words, something deep within Gus cracked. Not in a way of breaking him, but in destroying a barrier he had erected himself long ago. Protecting himself from being hurt, he had erected a wall of self-interest. To hide from his own inefficacy and powerlessness, he had receded inwards, placing more bricks as he increased the distance from others. If you never let anyone in, then they couldn’t hurt you. It was really the only way you could protect yourself.

For some reason, Mengele’s threat struck something at his core. He had said it so off-handedly, as if asking to pass the salt at a polite dinner. That what he was asking was just a simple fact, and not a betrayal.

On some level, Gus was well aware of his faults and failings and his punishment at the hands of Mengele seemed almost justified. His due reward for his stupidity and hubris of thinking he could take on someone so powerful with no real plan or backup. But those he had come to think of as friends. While they probably didn’t reciprocate those feelings, they didn’t deserve to be dragged down because of him.

A kernel of resistance hardened in his resolve. Mengele could do what he wanted to him, but his friends and family were off limits. The man had already done enough to his family, and if there was anything he could do to distract Mengele for any stretch of time, it would be that much more time he would not be able to go after them.

He twisted his neck to look at Mengele. The simple action took a Herculean amount of effort and pushing through searing pain but he grit his teeth and forced himself to do it. The widening of Mengele’s eyes was cold comfort when he saw the smile that followed it.

“Really, you’re going to make me use the curare again? So be it.”

Gus felt a pinch along the side of his face as Mengele injected something into his cheek and it fell into slackness despite his best efforts to keep his eye shut.

He could almost hear Mengele asking for Gus to ‘give him his hate’ as he peered closer, almost like he was looking through him. Mengele blinked, eyes growing wide as he began muttering excitedly.

At first, Gus thought he was talking to him, but he would trail off, then make a couple of quick notes into his virtual keyboard, speaking softly as he typed. As the curare spread out, his mouth also drooped, and he realized that he couldn’t speak even if he wanted to.