Ivy's Twisted Vine Redux Latrivia Nelson (best selling autobiographies .txt) 📖

up completely. I mean, you act as though you don’t want to see me with anyone, but yet, you don’t want me yourself. What am I suppose to think? What am I suppose to do? You say that you’re a woman then make grown woman choices. You know that you don’t love that man anymore than I love Rachel…”

“I do love him,” Ivy snapped wiping crocodile tears from her eyes.

“But you’re not in love with him.” Nicola snapped back. “What are you worried about…what other people might say if you leave him this late in the game. Fuck that.” He grabbed her in his arms ready to kiss her open mouth again.

“Easy for you to say. You’ve never had one meaningful relationship in your entire life.” She seethed with anger. She stared into his eyes, instantly seeing the hurt.

“You’re right. I’ve had two.” Still holding her, Nicola loosened his grip. “But I’m tired of chasing you, Ivy. You know how I feel about you, but you never really say how you feel about me. Even in there, I confessed that I love you, but you held on to your feelings. And that’s just being selfish. Why should I tell you everything, destroy myself and everyone that I care about simply to be rejected again. I need some kind of wall to survive in this shit I’ve gotten into with you.” He released her reluctantly but inwardly still wanting her badly.

“I don’t know you. Tonight was a perfect example of how little I know about Nicola Michael Agosto. And that scares me. Everyone is always worried about their feelings…how this affects them. What about what I want…huh? Does anyone give a damn about that?” She touched her head, feeling a headache coming. “I’m tired of the being the bone that you and Grey fight over. I’m tired of my kids being subjected to it.” She wiped her tears. “Grown woman decisions, huh? Okay. How about I stick with what I know. It’s safe. It’s simple. It’s real.”

“It’s the easy way out, Ivy. You don’t have to think for yourself. Around him you’re all prim and proper, but that isn’t you. Sometimes, you just want to be yourself, let go, say what’s on your mind and not worry about it being in the gossip columns in the morning. You need room and time to be yourself, just like anyone else.”

“This is who I am!” Ivy screamed.

“Yes, right now. But look who’s here. Me! I bring the truth, the passion out of you. How many times do you actually scream when it hurts, laugh because it’s really funny, cry because it’s really screwed up? How many times does a man grab you by the hair and give you what you really need!”

“What do you think that I really need, Nicola?”

“You don’t want to hear what I think that you need.”

“No, I want to hear it.”

“You need a real man.”

“And is that man you? You think just because you keep me in the dark better than he does that makes it all better?”

“Hey, I’ll admit that I did back off, but I had my reasons and they weren’t selfish ones.”

“Another excuse!”

“You’re just pissed off, because I actually see you, Ivy.”

“And you’re pissed off, because I really see you.”

“But I’m the only one here that’s okay with that, and that’s the damn problem.”

“I’m glad that this entire situation is so easy for you to dissect all the way from the nose bleed section.”

“You mean to tell me that you’re actually going to sit here and tell me that I haven’t done more than my part in this shit?” Nicola shook his head and turned to walk away.

Ivy felt instant guilt but too angry to give up, she continued. “Don’t you dare throw that guilt trip on me, Nicola! Turn around and face me!” She darted in front of him. “Wait.” She tried to gather her thoughts. “I want you to see this from my side. Why should I play the fool again, when there is so much for me to loose? You and Grey could leave and be fine. No babies. No responsibilities. It would all fall on me.”

“So, you’re staying with Grey, because you’re scared to be alone.”

“No! Are you listening to me?”

“Yeah. You’re telling me that I’m a bigger gamble than a Grey.”

“But do you understand why?” she asked him softly.

Nicola looked her in her eyes for a moment silent. His brown eyes burned through her. “I’m a bigger gamble, because I really want to be with you, there is no ulterior motive involved.”

“You just think that you want me, Nicola. But want me how, as your friend, your girlfriend? I bet you can’t even think of me as your wife. You say that you love me, but you admit to being with other women.”

Nicola stood looking at her for a moment and then cracked a twisted little smile. “Are you serious?” He started to laugh aloud. He laid his large hand on her little shoulder. “I’ve had a few women since you and I hooked up. Yes. But here’s the thing, so has Grey.”

“Oh, you just love throwing that in my face.”

“It’s the truth. This is the man you’re about to marry. And even though he’s been cheating on you and doing his thing, you’re still with him. You’ve been with him the entire time. But all this finger pointing includes you too, because I still have your scent on me. And I know it didn’t get there by itself.”

“How dare you,” she cut her eyes at him.

“You’ve got to search your heart to find what you want in all of this. I know what I want. And I was telling the truth about waiting. I have. Grey knows what he wants too…I’m not sure you two have the same