The Second Mrs. Tanqueray Arthur W. Pinero (free children's online books txt) š
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us last night, dear?
Paula
A bit of Schubert. Would you like to hear it again?
Lady Orreyed
You donāt know any comic songs, do you?
Paula
Iām afraid not.
Lady Orreyed
I leave it to you, then.
Paula plays. Aubrey and Cayley Drummle appear outside the window; they look into the room.
Aubrey
To Drummle. You can see her face in that mirror. Poor girl, how ill and wretched she looks.
Drummle
When are the Orreyeds going?
Aubrey
Heaven knows!
Entering the room.
Drummle
But youāre entertaining them; whatās it to do with Heaven?
Following Aubrey.
Aubrey
Do you know, Cayley, that even the Orreyeds serve a useful purpose? My wife actually speaks to me before our guestsā āthink of that! Iāve come to rejoice at the presence of the Orreyeds!
Drummle
I daresay; weāre taught that beetles are sent for a benign end.
Aubrey
Cayley, talk to Paula again tonight.
Drummle
Certainly, if I get the chance.
Aubrey
Letās contrive it. George is asleep; perhaps I can get that doll out of the way. As they advance into the room, Paula abruptly ceases playing and finds interest in a volume of music. Sir George is now nodding and snoring apoplectically. Lady Orreyed, whenever you feel inclined for a game of billiards Iām at your service.
Lady Orreyed
Jumping up. Charmed, Iām sure! I really thought youād forgotten poor little me. Oh, look at Dodo!
Aubrey
No, no, donāt wake him; heās tired.
Lady Orreyed
I must, he looks so plain. Rousing Sir George. Dodo! Dodo!
Sir George
Stupidly. āUllo!
Lady Orreyed
Dodo, dear, you were snoring.
Sir George
Oh, I say, you could āa told me that by-and-by.
Aubrey
You want a cigar, George; come into the billiard room. Giving his arm to Lady Orreyed. Cayley, bring Paula.
Aubrey and Lady Orreyed go out.
Sir George
Rising. Hey, what! billiard room! Looking at his watch. How goes theā ā? Phew! āUllo, āUllo! Whisky and potass!
He goes rapidly after Aubrey and Lady Orreyed. Paula resumes playing.
Paula
After a pause. Donāt moon about after me, Cayley; follow the others.
Drummle
Thanks, by-and-by. Sitting. Thatās pretty.
Paula
After another pause, still playing. I wish you wouldnāt stare so.
Drummle
Was I staring? Iām sorry. She plays a little longer, then stops suddenly, rises, and goes to the window, where she stands looking out. Drummle moves from the ottoman to the settee. A lovely night.
Paula
Startled. Oh! Without turning to him. Why do you hop about like a monkey?
Drummle
Hot rooms play the deuce with the nerves. Now, it would have done you good to have walked in the garden with us after dinner and made merry. Why didnāt you?
Paula
You know why.
Drummle
Ah, youāre thinking of theā ādifference between you and Aubrey?
Paula
Yes, I am thinking of it.
Drummle
Well, so am I. How longā ā?
Paula
Getting on for three weeks.
Drummle
Bless me, it must be! And this would have been such a night to have healed it! Moonlight, the stars, the scent of flowers; and yet enough darkness to enable a kind woman to rest her hand for an instant on the arm of a good fellow who loves her. Ah, ha! itās a wonderful power, dear Mrs. Aubrey, the power of an offended woman! Only realise it! Just that one touchā āthe mere tips of her fingersā āand, for herself and another, she changes the colour of the whole world!
Paula
Turning to him, calmly. Cayley, my dear man, you talk exactly like a very romantic old lady.
She leaves the window and sits playing with the knickknacks on the table.
Drummle
To himself. Hām, that hasnāt done it! Wellā āha, ha!ā āI accept the suggestion. An old woman, eh?
Paula
Oh, I didnāt intendā ā
Drummle
But why not? Iāve every qualificationā āwell, almost. And I confess it would have given this withered bosom a throb of grandmotherly satisfaction if I could have seen you and Aubrey at peace before I take my leave tomorrow.
Paula
Tomorrow, Cayley!
Drummle
I must.
Paula
Oh, this house is becoming unendurable.
Drummle
Youāre very kind. But youāve got the Orreyeds.
Paula
Fiercely. The Orreyeds! Iā āI hate the Orreyeds! I lie awake at night, hating them!
Drummle
Pardon me, Iāve understood that their visit is, in some degree, owing toā āhem!ā āyour suggestion.
Paula
Heavens! that doesnāt make me like them better. Somehow or another, Iā āIāve outgrown these people. This womanā āI used to think her ājolly!āā āsickens me. I canāt breathe when sheās near me: the whiff of her handkerchief turns me faint! And she patronises me by the hour, until Iā āI feel my nails growing longer with every word she speaks!
Drummle
My dear lady, why on earth donāt you say all this to Aubrey?
Paula
Oh, Iāve been such an utter fool, Cayley!
Drummle
Soothingly. Well, well, mention it to Aubrey!
Paula
No, no, you donāt understand. What do you think Iāve done?
Drummle
Done! What, since you invited the Orreyeds?
Paula
Yes; I must tell youā ā
Drummle
Perhaps youād better not.
Paula
Look here. Iāve intercepted some letters from Mrs. Cortelyon and Ellean toā āhim. Producing three unopened letters from the bodice of her dress. There are the accursed things! From Parisā ātwo from the Cortelyon woman, the other from Ellean!
Drummle
But whyā āwhy?
Paula
I donāt know. Yes, I do! I saw letters coming from Ellean to her father; not a line to meā ānot a line. And one morning it happened I was downstairs before he was, and I spied this one lying with his heap on the breakfast-table, and I slipped it into my pocketā āout of malice, Cayley, pure devilry! And a day or two afterwards I met Elwes the postman at the Lodge, and took the letters from him, and found these others amongst āem. I felt simply fiendish when I saw themā āfiendish! Returning the letters to her bodice. And now I carry them about with me, and theyāre scorching me like a mustard plaster!
Drummle
Oh, this accounts for Aubrey not hearing from Paris lately!
Paula
Thatās an ingenious conclusion to arrive at! Of course it does! With an hysterical laugh. Ha, ha!
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