The Tenant of Wildfell Hall Anne BrontĂ« (librera reader .txt) đ
- Author: Anne Brontë
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âHelen, what do you mean to do when I get well?â he asked this morning. âWill you run away again?â
âIt entirely depends upon your own conduct.â
âOh, Iâll be very good.â
âBut if I find it necessary to leave you, Arthur, I shall not ârun awayâ: you know I have your own promise that I may go whenever I please, and take my son with me.â
âOh, but you shall have no cause.â And then followed a variety of professions, which I rather coldly checked.
âWill you not forgive me, then?â said he.
âYesâ âI have forgiven you: but I know you cannot love me as you once didâ âand I should be very sorry if you were to, for I could not pretend to return it: so let us drop the subject, and never recur to it again. By what I have done for you, you may judge of what I will doâ âif it be not incompatible with the higher duty I owe to my son (higher, because he never forfeited his claims, and because I hope to do more good to him than I can ever do to you); and if you wish me to feel kindly towards you, it is deeds not words which must purchase my affection and esteem.â
His sole reply to this was a slight grimace, and a scarcely perceptible shrug. Alas, unhappy man! words, with him, are so much cheaper than deeds; it was as if I had said, âPounds, not pence, must buy the article you want.â And then he sighed a querulous, self-commiserating sigh, as if in pure regret that he, the loved and courted of so many worshippers, should be now abandoned to the mercy of a harsh, exacting, cold-hearted woman like that, and even glad of what kindness she chose to bestow.
âItâs a pity, isnât it?â said I; and whether I rightly divined his musings or not, the observation chimed in with his thoughts, for he answeredâ ââIt canât be helped,â with a rueful smile at my penetration.
I have seen Esther Hargrave twice. She is a charming creature, but her blithe spirit is almost broken, and her sweet temper almost spoiled, by the still unremitting persecutions of her mother in behalf of her rejected suitorâ ânot violent, but wearisome and unremitting like a continual dropping. The unnatural parent seems determined to make her daughterâs life a burden, if she will not yield to her desires.
âMamma does all she can,â said she, âto make me feel myself a burden and incumbrance to the family, and the most ungrateful, selfish, and undutiful daughter that ever was born; and Walter, too, is as stern and cold and haughty as if he hated me outright. I believe I should have yielded at once if I had known, from the beginning, how much resistance would have cost me; but now, for very obstinacyâs sake, I will stand out!â
âA bad motive for a good resolve,â I answered. âBut, however, I know you have better motives, really, for your perseverance: and I counsel you to keep them still in view.â
âTrust me I will. I threaten mamma sometimes that Iâll run away, and disgrace the family by earning my own livelihood, if she torments me any more; and then that frightens her a little. But I will do it, in good earnest, if they donât mind.â
âBe quiet and patient a while,â said I, âand better times will come.â
Poor girl! I wish somebody that was worthy to possess her would come and take her awayâ âdonât you, Frederick?
If the perusal of this letter filled me with dismay for Helenâs future life and mine, there was one great source of consolation: it was now in my power to clear her name from every foul aspersion. The Millwards and the Wilsons should see with their own eyes the bright sun bursting from the cloudâ âand they should be scorched and dazzled by its beams;â âand my own friends too should see itâ âthey whose suspicions had been such gall and wormwood to my soul. To effect this I had only to drop the seed into the ground, and it would soon become a stately, branching herb:
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