The Best of World SF Lavie Tidhar (me reader .TXT) 📖

she mumbled that number to herself. When she closed her eyes, she thought of Mars, black-and-white like in Lucía’s movie, seen through a lens that had been coated in Vaseline. Bloated, disfigured, beautiful Mars.

When the phone rang, she answered it without even bothering to check who it was, eyes still closed, the cool surface of the screen against her cheek.

‘Amelia, I think you called yesterday,’ Elías said.

‘I think your girlfriend answered the phone,’ Amelia replied, snapping her eyes open.

‘My fiancée,’ he said. ‘My father picked her for me.’

‘That’s nice.’

‘Can you come over? I want to explain.’

‘I’m busy.’

‘What are you doing?’

‘Something’s burning,’ she said, staring at the bonfire. The teenagers running around it looked like devils, shadow things that bubbled up from the ground. It was the booze, or she was tired of everything, and she rubbed her eyes.

‘Amelia—’

‘Pay me. Send me a goddamn transfer right now and I’ll go.’

She thought he’d say no, but after a splintered silence, he spoke. ‘OK.’

‘You’ll have to send a car too. I am not taking the subway.’

‘OK.’

She gave him the necessary info. When the driver appeared, it was ages or mere minutes later and she had forgotten about the deal. Cinderella going to the ball, escorted into a sleek, black car instead of a pumpkin. She wondered if this was Elías’s regular driver, his car, or just a hired one. When they’d dated, he’d owned a red sports car, but that was ages ago.

Amelia tossed the bottle out the window once the car got in motion.

8

There was an expiry date to being a loser. You could make ‘bad choices’ and muck about until you were around twenty-one, but after that, God forbid you committed any mistakes, deviating from the anointed path, even though life was more like a game of Snakes and Ladders than a straight line.

Amelia realized that anyone peering in would pass easy judgment on her. Stupid woman, too old to be stumbling through life the way she did, stumbling into her ex-boyfriend’s apartment again, shrugging out of her jacket and staring out the window at the sign in the distance which advertised Mars.

She could almost hear the voice-over: Watch Amelia act like a fool, again.

But not everyone got to be the Hero of the flick.

‘What is that?’ Elías said, pointing at the bandage on her arm. She had not even realized she still had it on.

‘I went to a clinic. They drew blood,’ Amelia replied, her fingers careless, sliding over the bandage.

‘Are you sick?’

‘I was selling blood. Old farts love to pump young plasma through their veins. Hey, maybe some of your dad’s friends are going to get my blood. Wouldn’t that be hilarious?’

‘You should have told me if you needed money,’ he replied.

‘Do you think I’m on Friendrr for fun? Of course I need money. Everyone does.’

Except you, she thought. She wondered how the transaction he’d performed would show on his account. Two thousand tajaderos for the ex-girlfriend. File under Miscellaneous.

‘Do you have any water? I’m supposed to stay hydrated,’ Amelia said.

He fetched her a glass and they sat on the couch.

‘Amelia, my fiancée… it’s what my father wants. I don’t care about her. I don’t even touch her,’ Elías said. He looked mournful. Sad-eyed Elías.

‘It’s going to be difficult for you to have children that way,’ Amelia replied. ‘Or are you thinking of renting a womb? Would you like to rent mine? It’s all for sale.’

‘Amelia, for God’s sake!’ he said, scandalized.

‘You are an asshole. You are a selfish, entitled prick,’ she told him, but she said it in a matter-of-fact tone. There was a surprisingly small amount of rancor in her voice. She sipped her water.

‘Yes, all right,’ he agreed and she could tell he wanted to say something else. Amelia did not let him speak.

‘Where did your girlfriend go? Or is she coming back? I’m not willing to hide in the closet.’

‘She’s headed back to Monterrey. She just came to… my father wants me back there permanently. He sent her to pressure me and I spent all my time trying to avoid interacting with her. I—’

‘What’s your girlfriend’s name?’

‘Fiancée. Amelia, you are avoiding me.’

‘How am I avoiding you? I’m sitting here, like you wanted. You’re telling me you’ll get married. Congratulations.’

‘Listen,’ he told her. ‘Nothing has been said; nothing has been done. I’m here.’

I’m here too, she thought. I’m stuck. Not only in the city. Stuck with him. She considered leaning forward and slapping him, just for kicks. Mostly, because she wasn’t even mad at him. She thought she should be, but instead she lounged on his couch while he was fidgeting.

‘I lied to you, OK? I didn’t find you on Friendrr by chance. Fernanda mentioned you were there one day; Fernanda and I, we keep in touch. I went looking for you. Every goddamned day, I looked at your profile, at your picture, telling myself I wasn’t going to contact you.

‘I should have gone to New Panyu with you,’ he concluded. ‘My dad wouldn’t give me the money, but I should have done something.’

There was that scalding feeling in her stomach. Amelia loathed it. She didn’t want to be angry at him. She’d been angry and that was what had started this ridiculous train of events. If she could be indifferent, it would all collapse.

‘Oh, you couldn’t. I was just another girl. I’m still just another girl,’ she told him, unable to keep her mouth shut, although at this point, the less said, the better. She had a headache. The booze she’d imbibed was probably a toxic chemical. Radioactive flesh, she mused. Radioactive everything.

But it was Elías who looked a little sick, a little feverish, and Amelia pressed cool fingers against his cheek, her mouth curving into a not-quite-smile as she edged close to him.

‘You’re just another guy, you know?’

He caught her hands between his and frowned.

‘I’m sorry,’ he said. ‘I don’t know how to live with you. I never did.’

‘I don’t want you to be sorry.’

‘What do you want?’

You used to mean something to