Arms and the Man George Bernard Shaw (epub e ink reader .TXT) š
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of sight.
Catherine
Looking after her, her fingers itching. Oh, if you were only ten years younger! Louka comes from the house with a salver, which she carries hanging down by her side. Well?
Louka
Thereās a gentleman just called, madamā āa Serbian officerā ā
Catherine
Flaming. A Serbian! How dare heā āChecking herself bitterly. Oh, I forgot. We are at peace now. I suppose we shall have them calling every day to pay their compliments. Well, if he is an officer why donāt you tell your master? He is in the library with Major Saranoff. Why do you come to me?
Louka
But he asks for you, madam. And I donāt think he knows who you are: he said the lady of the house. He gave me this little ticket for you. She takes a card out of her bosom; puts it on the salver and offers it to Catherine.
Catherine
Reading. āCaptain Bluntschli!ā Thatās a German name.
Louka
Swiss, madam, I think.
Catherine
With a bound that makes Louka jump back. Swiss! What is he like?
Louka
Timidly. He has a big carpet bag, madam.
Catherine
Oh, Heavens, heās come to return the coat! Send him awayā āsay weāre not at homeā āask him to leave his address and Iāll write to himā āOh, stop: that will never do. Wait! She throws herself into a chair to think it out. Louka waits. The master and Major Saranoff are busy in the library, arenāt they?
Louka
Yes, madam.
Catherine
Decisively. Bring the gentleman out here at once. Imperatively. And be very polite to him. Donāt delay. Here Impatiently snatching the salver from her: leave that here; and go straight back to him.
Louka
Yes, madam. Going.
Catherine
Louka!
Louka
Stopping. Yes, madam.
Catherine
Is the library door shut?
Louka
I think so, madam.
Catherine
If not, shut it as you pass through.
Louka
Yes, madam. Going.
Catherine
Stop! Louka stops. He will have to go out that way Indicating the gate of the stable yard. Tell Nicola to bring his bag here after him. Donāt forget.
Louka
Surprised. His bag?
Catherine
Yes, here, as soon as possible. Vehemently. Be quick! Louka runs into the house. Catherine snatches her apron off and throws it behind a bush. She then takes up the salver and uses it as a mirror, with the result that the handkerchief tied round her head follows the apron. A touch to her hair and a shake to her dressing gown makes her presentable. Oh, howā āhowā āhow can a man be such a fool! Such a moment to select! Louka appears at the door of the house, announcing āCaptain Bluntschli;ā and standing aside at the top of the steps to let him pass before she goes in again. He is the man of the adventure in Rainaās room. He is now clean, well brushed, smartly uniformed, and out of trouble, but still unmistakably the same man. The moment Loukaās back is turned, Catherine swoops on him with hurried, urgent, coaxing appeal. Captain Bluntschli, I am very glad to see you; but you must leave this house at once. He raises his eyebrows. My husband has just returned, with my future son-in-law; and they know nothing. If they did, the consequences would be terrible. You are a foreigner: you do not feel our national animosities as we do. We still hate the Serbians: the only effect of the peace on my husband is to make him feel like a lion baulked of his prey. If he discovered our secret, he would never forgive me; and my daughterās life would hardly be safe. Will you, like the chivalrous gentleman and soldier you are, leave at once before he finds you here?
Bluntschli
Disappointed, but philosophical. At once, gracious lady. I only came to thank you and return the coat you lent me. If you will allow me to take it out of my bag and leave it with your servant as I pass out, I need detain you no further. He turns to go into the house.
Catherine
Catching him by the sleeve. Oh, you must not think of going back that way. Coaxing him across to the stable gates. This is the shortest way out. Many thanks. So glad to have been of service to you. Goodbye.
Bluntschli
But my bag?
Catherine
It will be sent on. You will leave me your address.
Bluntschli
True. Allow me. He takes out his card-case, and stops to write his address, keeping Catherine in an agony of impatience. As he hands her the card, Petkoff, hatless, rushes from the house in a fluster of hospitality, followed by Sergius.
Petkoff
As he hurries down the steps. My dear Captain Bluntschliā ā
Catherine
Oh Heavens! She sinks on the seat against the wall.
Petkoff
Too preoccupied to notice her as he shakes Bluntschliās hand heartily. Those stupid people of mine thought I was out here, instead of in theā āhaw!ā ālibrary. He cannot mention the library without betraying how proud he is of it. I saw you through the window. I was wondering why you didnāt come in. Saranoff is with me: you remember him, donāt you?
Sergius
Saluting humorously, and then offering his hand with great charm of manner. Welcome, our friend the enemy!
Petkoff
No longer the enemy, happily. Rather anxiously. I hope youāve come as a friend, and not on business.
Catherine
Oh, quite as a friend, Paul. I was just asking Captain Bluntschli to stay to lunch; but he declares he must go at once.
Sergius
Sardonically. Impossible, Bluntschli. We want you here badly. We have to send on three cavalry regiments to Phillipopolis; and we donāt in the least know how to do it.
Bluntschli
Suddenly attentive and businesslike. Phillipopolis! The forage is the trouble, eh?
Petkoff
Eagerly. Yes, thatās it. To Sergius. He sees the whole thing at once.
Bluntschli
I think I can show you how to manage that.
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