On a Roll Beth Bolden (best book club books for discussion .TXT) 📖

“I still wanted to make sure you were okay. I know that two years ago, you really didn’t want to change your name, and I’m assuming that nothing’s changed.”

“Nothing’s changed,” Sean confirmed.

“So what are you guys going to do?” Tate wondered.

“Gabe’s just gonna have to figure out how to live with the name change, I guess,” Sean said.

Tate looked surprised. “You’re just assuming he’s going to give in?”

“I’ve still got my reasons, right?” Sean said. “They didn’t just go away. Gabriel’s just being an ass.”

“Is he?”

“Well, yeah,” Sean said. “It’s Gabriel. Of course he’s being an ass about it.”

Maybe Tate’s worried expression shouldn’t have reminded Sean of how guilty he’d felt when Gabriel had left, but that guilt was now back in spades.

“I’m sure you’ve got great reasons,” Tate said carefully, “but that doesn’t mean that Gabe should just automatically do whatever you want him to. He’s got rights here, too. Maybe you could figure out how to compromise?”

“Compromise?” The idea felt ludicrous. But then the idea of kissing Gabriel had been ludicrous before last night. “How would we even do that? We can’t share the name, not anymore.”

“I know.” Tate patted him reassuringly on the shoulder. “But you guys are both super smart, and I know you’ll figure something out. Something,” he added with a pointed glance towards Gabriel’s truck, “that you’re both happy with.”

Sean wanted to tell him that was impossible. There was going to be one winner and one loser here. Sean had always assumed that he’d be the former and Gabe would just have to come around to the new state of things.

But Tate’s words exposed not just the guilt he’d been feeling, but the fundamental assumptions he’d been making, and how they made him sound.

It hit him like a hard smack to the side of the head: he was always complaining that Gabe was a stubborn asshole, but when he believed that Gabe would have to give in, did that make him any different?

Didn’t it actually make him worse?

Tate patted him again. “You look like you just saw a ghost.”

He had, in a way. Milo would not only have disapproved of how ridiculous Sean was being, he’d have been ashamed.

Could he and Gabriel compromise? The very thought seemed laughable, but how else could they get out of this and not hate each other in the end?

Because no matter how much they complained about each other, how vehemently Sean had bitched about Gabe and vice versa, he knew they’d never really hated each other.

But they would, if this kept going. If there was a winner and a loser.

“I think I need to go,” Sean said slowly. He reached up and tugged the knot out of his apron. The stupid, petty-as-fuck stained apron that he’d put on because he’d wanted to put Gabriel in his place. Shame him into giving in.

If it had worked, Sean never would’ve been able to live with himself.

He pulled the apron, and without a second thought, chucked into the trash.

Tate chuckled under his breath. “It’s about time,” he said.

“Yeah,” Sean said. “It really is.”

———

Gabriel was just locking up his truck when Sean found him, barely illuminated by a circle of one of the motion sensor lights scattered around the edge of the property. So far, the lights had kept the thefts and vandalisms to a minimum, but he knew Tony was still worried.

“Hey,” Sean said.

Gabriel glanced up, and then looked away. “What do you want?” he asked.

“I want to talk.”

Gabriel shrugged. “We already tried that.”

“No,” Sean said bluntly. “We really didn’t.”

“I’m not sure I’m following,” Gabriel said. “Is talking some kind of sexy metaphor that I’m not aware of?”

“No,” Sean said. “You said you wanted to know why I didn’t want to change the name. I guess if I’m asking you to change your name, you should at least know why.”

Gabriel rolled his eyes. “I’ve only been begging you for years.”

“I know.” Sean hesitated, trying to tone down the defensiveness in his tone. “It’s just that I don’t talk about it . . . about him . . . much.”

At all, actually. Ever.

And maybe that was kind of fucked up too, now that Sean thought about it.

“Him?” Gabriel looked shocked. “What . . . no,” he said. “I think I need a drink for this.” He turned abruptly and headed in the direction of the Funky Cup, which was only a few blocks over.

“Wait,” Sean said, scrambling to reach him. Gabriel’s legs were just so freaking long. “Wait, I still need to lock up . . .”

Gabriel turned. “So go lock up, then,” he said. “I’ll meet you there.”

“Are you really sure we should drink around each other again after . . .” Sean took a deep breath. “After last night?”

“You stopped thinking about it?” Gabriel wondered.

“Last night?” Sean swallowed, hoping his voice wouldn’t squeak when he said the word, but it did anyway. “The kiss?”

“Yeah,” Gabriel said.

Sean stared at him for a moment. He was illuminated under one of those viciously bright lights. They washed everyone and everything under them out, but Gabriel was still, unbelievably, handsome. It’s because you’re just so horny. You want him so goddamn bad, that’s all.

“No,” he admitted. “No, I haven’t stopped thinking about it.”

“Me either,” Gabriel said. “So I figure that whether we drink or not, it won’t matter.”

It was such a Gabriel thing to say. “It might happen again,” Sean hedged.

“Yeah.” Gabriel smiled wide. “I kinda hoped it might.”

“Okay,” Sean said. “But only after we . . . you know . . . talk. Actually talk.”

“Sure thing,” Gabe said. “See you in a few.” He turned away and walked off, slowly retreating from the circle of light into the darkness.

Sean took a deep breath, and as he headed over to his own truck, hoped against all better judgment that he wasn’t making a mistake.

If they did kiss again, if they did more, he was going to have to make sure he was clear. This was just sex. They were, what