Influenced Eva Robinson (polar express read aloud .TXT) 📖

got a good night’s sleep, maybe she’d come up with a better plan. Back to Somerville, then.

“Hungry!” Nora said. “Applesauce. Hungry!”

Hannah should have fed her by now. Nora’s hunger always sent a jolt of panic and guilt through her. She’d been a colicky baby, and even now, two years later, Hannah lived in complete dread of her daughter being upset in any way, because it had once meant five hours of screaming that Hannah had been completely unable to soothe. Her heart was already racing.

It was the sort of thing she knew her grandmother would dismiss as Millennial nonsense, making a fuss over nothing, but Hannah wondered if it was possible for a mom to have PTSD from a colicky baby.

It was as if all those hours spent frantically rocking but failing to soothe her baby had forever worn grooves of fear into the fissures of her brain. Nora’s distress was now her own, and Hannah would do anything to stop it. But she hadn’t planned well enough.

Hannah leaned down and kissed Nora on her nose. “I love you.”

Nora looked furious. “No kisses right now! Applesauce!” Nora shouted, more frantic this time. She wasn’t pacified by the fresh air and the breeze.

Hannah’s stomach clenched, and she stopped walking. She opened her purse and started rifling around, rummaging past sticky toddler socks, a collection of seashells Nora had given her in the summer, and a plastic toy from McDonald’s. Her fingers brushed against the ooze of an old yogurt that had exploded. She was hoping to find an old snack in there, even though she didn’t remember packing one.

“Hungry!”

At last, her fingers brushed against a smooth packet, and she pulled it out, exhaling with relief—liquidized kale and apples. She unscrewed the top. Technically, it was baby food and Nora was a toddler, but she loved these. And it was kale, wasn’t it? Healthy.

Nora grasped it greedily and stuffed it in her mouth. Sadly, the contentment of this single packet wouldn’t last long, and she’d be screaming for another within minutes.

Hannah found a napkin in her handbag and wiped off the sludge from her hands.

Then, when she looked up again, she saw a woman striding closer, her dark curls caught in the wind.

It’s her.

Rowan wore a belted camel trench coat, hands shoved in her pockets. Her cheeks shimmered in the dying sunlight.

Hannah’s nerves crackled, and she started pushing the stroller again, trying to act natural. What a coincidence! That was the vibe she was going for.

As Rowan stalked closer, Hannah tried to catch her eye. Rowan, however, seemed completely intent on the path before her, and slightly pissed off as well.

Say something, Hannah.

When she passed, Hannah turned, then blurted, “Rowan!”

Rowan whirled, and Hannah tried to remember what a natural smile looked like.

At first, Rowan frowned, looking irritated by the interruption. Then she cocked her head as if recognition was dawning very slowly.

“It’s Hannah,” said Hannah, feeling like an idiot. “From S and O. Saltonstall and Oakes,” she added, feeling stupid.

Immediately, Rowan’s features brightened, and a smile beamed from her face. “Hannah! How are you? It’s been ages. I remember you! You were the smartest kid in our whole school.”

“It has been ages,” Hannah said. “I was just out for a walk. I live nearby. Well, just over the Somerville border in Porter Square.”

Rowan frowned at her. “Were you walking back and forth? Over and over? I thought I saw you from my window.”

Hannah’s stomach clenched, and she wanted to run. “Sometimes walking by the river is the only thing that soothes Nora.”

Rowan glanced at Nora. “Are you a mom, Rowan? How exciting!”

Oh, thank heavens that worked.

“Yes, this is Nora.” Hannah suddenly felt her chest warm with a fierce pride. Nora was, after all, the most adorable child in the area. Anyone could see that immediately. “She’s just turned two.”

“Turned two,” said Nora, trying and failing to hold up two fingers.

“So funny to run into you here,” said Hannah. What was the best way to ask, “Hey, can you turn me into an Instagram star too,” without sounding like a giant user?

Rowan pointed to her apartment. “Oh, well, I live right there. I ran out of wine. It’s been one of those days, you know?”

“Oh, I know.”

Rowan pointed at Hannah’s charm bracelet. “Oh, you still wear it! That makes me happy.” She held up her own. “I do too.”

Oh, I know. “You look the same.”

Rowan took a step closer. “You were always so together. You were class president and valedictorian, right? I remember your speech. I remember thinking, ‘That’s someone who’s going to do amazing things.’ You gave a speech about, like… existentialism or something. I barely even knew what that was. You were so incredibly smart. I mean, I’m sure you still are.”

Hannah could feel her cheeks heating. “Oh no, I wish everyone would forget that speech. I don’t think I had any idea what I was talking about.”

“Fooled me. Gosh, I’m feeling strangely nostalgic, is that weird? Maybe things were simpler then.”

“I know exactly what you mean.”

“Hungry!” shouted Nora.

“When did you get married?” asked Rowan.

“Oh, I didn’t. It’s just me and Nora. Her dad is a friend of mine. He takes her on the weekends.”

A smile curled Rowan’s lips. “Wow, you turned out much more interesting than I would have anticipated. How bohemian.”

Hannah wondered if there was a backhanded compliment in there, but it made her feel cool either way. “Oh, not that interesting. I’m just a school psychologist, not a glamorous model. I’ve seen your pictures. I have my own little profile with book reviews, but it’s nothing like yours.”

Rowan seemed to go still, staring at Hannah.

Hannah wondered if she’d made a terrible miscalculation—if Rowan was seeing right through this whole ruse. Hannah felt her mouth go dry, and once again she wanted to run.

Then, at last, Rowan said, “You’re a school psychologist?”

“Yes,” said Hannah. “Well, I impulsively quit my job, but that’s what I did until this week.” So bohemian, right?

Rowan’s eyes sparkled. “Oh, so you have free time?