Hudibras Samuel Butler (free novels to read TXT) đ
- Author: Samuel Butler
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Fit medâcines to each glorious bruise
He got in fight, reds, blacks, and blues,
To mollify the uneasy pang
Of evâry honourable bang,
Which bâing by skilful midwife drest,
He laid him down to take his rest.
But all in vain. Hâ had got a hurt
Oâ thâ inside, of a deadlier sort,
By Cupid made, who took his stand
Upon a widowâs jointure land,
(For he, in all his amârous battles,
No âdvantage finds like goods and chattels,)
Drew home his bow, and, aiming right,
Let fly an arrow at the Knight:
The shaft against a rib did glance,
And gallâd him in the purtenance.
But time had somewhat âsuagâd his pain
After he found his suit in vain.
For that proud dame, for whom his soul
Was burnt in âs belly like a coal,
(That belly which so oft did ake
And suffer griping for her sake,
Till purging comfits and antsâ-eggs
Had almost brought him off his legs,)
Usâd him so like a base rascallion,
That old Pygâ â(what dâyâ call him) malion,76
That cut his mistress out of stone,
Had not so hard a hearted one.
She had a thousand Jadish tricks,
Worse than a mule that flings and kicks;
âMong which one cross-grainâd freak she had,
As insolent as strange and mad;
She could love none, but only such
As scornâd and hated her as much.
âTwas a strange riddle of a lady:
Not love, if any lovâd her! Hey-dey!
So cowards never use their might,
But against such as will not fight;
So some diseases have been found
Only to seize upon the sound.
He that gets her by heart, must say her
The back way, like a witchâs prayer.
Meanwhile the Knight had no small task
To compass what he durst not ask.
He loves, but dares not make the motion;
Her ignorance is his devotion:
Like caitiff vile, that, for misdeed,
Rides with his face to rump of steed,
Or rowing scull, heâs fain to love,
Look one way, and another move;
Or like a tumbler, that does play
His game, and look another way,
Until he seize upon the cony;
Just so he does by matrimony:
But all in vain; her subtle snout
Did quickly wind his meaning out;
Which she returnâd with too much scorn
To be by man of honour borne:
Yet much he bore, until the distress
He sufferâd from his spiteful mistress
Did stir his stomach; and the pain
He had endurâd from her disdain,
Turnâd to regret so resolute,
That he resolvâd to wave his suit,
And either to renounce her quite,
Or for a while play least in sight.
This resolution bâing put on,
He kept some months, and more had done,
But being brought so nigh by fate,
The victory he achievâd so late
Did set his thoughts agog, and ope
A door to discontinuâd hope,
That seemâd to promise he might win
His dame too, now his hand was in;
And that his valour, and the honour
Hâ had newly gainâd, might work upon her.
These reasons made his mouth to water
With amârous longings to be at her.
Quoth he, unto himself, Who knows,
But this brave conquest oâer my foes
May reach her heart, and make that stoop,
As I but now have forcâd the troop?
If nothing can oppugn love,
And virtue invious ways can prove,
What may he not confide to do
That brings both love and virtue too?
But thou bringâst valour too and wit:
Two things that seldom fail to hit.
Valourâs a mouse-trap, wit a gin,
Which women oft are taken in.
Then, Hudibras, why shouldâst thou fear
To be, that art a conqueror?
Fortune thâ audacious doth juvare,
But lets the timidous miscarry.
Then while the honour thou hast got
Is spick and span new, piping hot,
Strike her up bravely, thou hadst best,
And trust thy fortune with the rest.
Such thoughts as these the Knight did keep,
More than his bangs or fleas, from sleep.
And as an owl, that in a barn
Sees a mouse creeping in the corn,
Sits still, and shuts his round blue eyes,
As if he slept, until he spies
The little beast within his reach,
Then starts, and seizes on the wretch;
So from his couch the Knight did start
To seize upon the widowâs heart;
Crying with hasty tone, and hoarse,
Ralpho, dispatch; to horse, to horse.
And âtwas but time; for now the rout,
We left engagâd to seek him out,
By speedy marches, were advancâd
Up to the fort, where he ensconcâd;
And all thâ avenues had possest
About the place, from east to west.
That done, a while they made a halt,
To view the ground, and where tâ assault:
Then callâd a council, which was best,
By siege or onslaught, to invest
The enemy; and âtwas agreed,
By storm and onslaught to proceed.
This bâing resolvâd, in comely sort
They now drew up tâ attack the fort:
When Hudibras, about to enter
Upon another-gates adventure,
To Ralpho callâd aloud to arm,
Not dreaming of approaching storm.
Whether dame Fortune, or the care
Of angel bad or tutelar,
Did arm, or thrust him on a danger
To which he was an utter stranger,
That foresight might, or might not, blot
The glory he had newly got;
For to his shame it might be said,
They took him napping in his bed;
To them we leave it to expound,
That deal in sciences profound.
His courser scarce he had bestrid,
And Ralpho that on which he rid,
When setting ope the postern gate,
Which they thought best to sally at,
The foe appearâd, drawn up and drillâd,
Ready to charge them in the field.
This somewhat startled the bold Knight,
Surprisâd with thâ unexpected sight:
The bruises of his bones and flesh
He thought began to smart afresh;
Till recollecting wonted courage,
His fear was soon converted to rage,
And thus he spoke: The coward foe,
Whom we but now gave quarter to,
Look, yonderâs rallyâd, and appears
As if they had outrun their fears.
The glory we did lately get,
The Fates command us to repeat;
And to their wills we must succumb,
Quocunque trahunt, âtis our doom.
This is the same numeric crew
Which we so lately did subdue;
The self-same individuals that
Did run as mice do from a cat,
When we courageously did wield
Our martial weapons in the field,
To tug for victory; and when
We shall our shining blades agen
Brandish in terror oâer our heads,
Theyâll straight resume their wonted dreads.
Fear is an ague, that forsakes
And haunts by fits those whom it takes;
And theyâll opine they feel the pain
And blows they felt to-day again.
Then let us boldly charge them home,
And make no doubt to overcome.
This said, his courage to inflame,
He callâd upon his mistressâ name.
His pistol next he cockâd anew,
And out his nut-brown whinyard drew;
And, placing Ralpho
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