Hazard and Somerset Gregory Ashe (the little red hen ebook txt) 📖

he paused, hands in mid-scrub through his hair. “We haven’t done spaghetti in a while.”

“Thank you.”

“Come on,” Noah said, snatching the mop as it whistled through the air again. “And for future reference, Robbie, although I didn’t think I’d ever have to say this, your first loyalty is always to your father. If someone comes to the house telling you they’re going to kill me, you need to give me some kind of warning.”

“Yeah, Dad,” Robbie said as they left the office. “But Mr. Hazard is cool.”

“I’m cool,” Noah said, the wounded tone drifting back into the office.

“All right,” Rebeca said when they were alone.

“I wasn’t really going to murder him.”

She raised one eyebrow. “It’s interesting that you need to explain that.”

“He already told you?”

“More or less. Let me guess: he said you should just agree with John-Henry because that’s what he always does. He tells me what I want to hear, and then the fight’s over, and like magic, everything’s good again.”

“More or less.”

She snorted. “God, I love that man, but he is a dumbass sometimes. First of all, I always know when he’s pulling that trick. And obviously John-Henry does too. You could have done a little independent thinking, you know.”

Hazard didn’t answer, but he could feel the blush climbing his cheeks.

“Second of all, that trick only works for Noah because we’ve been together for fifteen years and because I know he really does respect my judgment and he’s not just being condescending to me.”

“I wasn’t being condescending.”

Rebeca’s eyebrow shot up again.

“I was just telling him what he wanted to hear because I didn’t want to fight about it anymore because I didn’t want to hear what he was really thinking because I fundamentally didn’t respect his opinions and, oh my God, I was being condescending.”

Rebeca made a disgusted noise.

“I’m still new to this, all right?”

“You need to get better at it. Fast. Because John-Henry is incredible, and you’re crapping where you eat.”

“Mom said crap,” a boy’s voice squealed in the hallway.

“Good Lord,” Rebeca said, dropping her face into her hands. “Thank you for that.”

“I didn’t—”

“You and John-Henry, you’re great together. I believe that. Do you believe that?”

“Of course.”

“Are you the same person?”

“God, no.”

“Are you similar?”

Hazard took longer with this question. “In some ways. In some important ways. But we’re very different too.”

She rolled a finger: go on.

“Ok.” Hazard stood. “I understand.”

“It’s not your fault.”

“That’s mildly patronizing, but ok.”

“Your only big mistake was asking Noah for help.”

“All right, Rebeca.”

“If you’d asked a woman from the beginning . . .”

“Don’t push it,” Hazard growled.

As he left, Rebeca was laughing.

VI

NOVEMBER 21

WEDNESDAY

5:57 PM

HAZARD KNOCKED ONCE, AND Somers answered the door.

“Sorry I was being an asshole.”

“Sorry I was being an asshole.”

Somers stepped aside, and Hazard stepped into their home.

“I want to—”

“I need to—”

Somers laughed; Hazard didn’t. He didn’t feel like laughing. He felt like something too big for his body was inside him, an explosion that was ongoing, heat and pressure and force.

“I really didn’t listen to you?” he asked.

“I don’t know. I didn’t try very hard. You seemed so set on what you were saying, and sometimes . . . I don’t know, I didn’t want to press you.”

“I want you to press me.”

“Ok, but—”

“No, John. I’m serious. I shouldn’t have come here earlier and tried to bullshit you; that was stupid. But this, I really mean it. I know I’m . . . not flexible.”

Somers made a noise in his throat that sounded like he might be dying of shock.

“And I know I’m . . . opinionated.”

Another of those choking noises.

“Did you swallow your damn tongue?”

“Sorry,” Somers said. “Keep going.”

“No, I’m done.”

“Ree.”

“No, if you’re going to laugh at me, I’m done.” But he didn’t mean it, and he could see that Somers knew he didn’t mean it.

Sliding his arms around Hazard, resting his head on Hazard’s chest, Somers said, “I’ve enjoyed this speech a lot. Is there more?”

“You’re fucking pushy for being the same guy who locked me out of the house barefoot.”

“I gave you the moccasins. And your coat. Come on, finish your speech. Keep going about all these mysterious qualities I might not have ever noticed before.”

“I’m a fucking know-it-all.”

“You’re brilliant.”

“I’m shit for patience.”

“You spent four hours playing princess with Evie, and I didn’t hear you swear once.”

“I said damn four times when she got my hand caught in the Pretty Princess Waffle Maker.”

“Yeah, but damn doesn’t count. Not for you, anyway.”

“I’m a pushy, arrogant asshole who doesn’t listen when his boyfriend’s trying to tell him that something’s important to him.”

“You,” Somers said, pulling back and studying Hazard for a long moment, “are the best thing that’s ever happened to me.”

“That’s bullshit, but you really are the best thing that ever happened to me.”

“Hey, you can’t steal my line.”

“I’m serious, John. I wouldn’t have a life, any life, without you. I’d be locked up in a room watching documentaries until I died. Alone.”

“Miserably alone.”

“Thank you.”

“Probably from hand cramps.”

“Ok.”

“From jerking off so much, still thinking about me.”

“All right. I think we’ve reached the end of the speech.”

“No, you had more. I know you did.”

Hazard took Somers’s chin gently, raised Somers’s face, and said, “I want you to make me go out and do things with you. I want to do the things that are important to you. I want you to tell me what you think, even if I’m being a snob.”

“I’m going to remember this next time it’s my turn to pick date night.”

Hazard groaned.

“Remember that monster truck rally we saw a billboard for?”

“No.”

“But you said—”

“No,” Hazard said, and then he kissed him.

Somers took a few moments, catching his breath, his eyes dazed. “I also wanted to buy season tickets to the high school football games. We’re both going to wear jerseys with my old number, because they retired it, you know, and—”

Hazard kissed him again.

“I can’t—” Somers was trying really, really hard. Hazard could see it in his face, and it was kind of cute. “You can’t—”

Hazard picked him up and carried him to bed.