Hot SEAL, April's Fool Becca Jameson (philippa perry book txt) 📖

her hands and backed up until he tugged her to sit next to him on the sofa. “When did you date Rodney?” he asked.

She shivered, feeling like he’d been reading her mind two seconds ago. She felt a little put off by his inquisition and shot him a glare. “It’s not really any of your business, Cole. You left town without a word. Not a single phone call. Nothing. You left me standing in my house dressed for dinner with no explanation. I had to call Rodney to make sure you weren’t dead on the side of the road somewhere. If it weren’t for him confirming you were alive and well, I would have contacted the police.”

Cole lowered his gaze.

“So, yes, Rodney and I became friends. We dated the following summer when he was home from college. It didn’t work out. We broke up. We moved on.”

Cole lifted his face to meet her gaze. “Rodney looked at you today like you broke his heart.”

April swallowed and looked away. “It wasn’t like that.”

“What was it like then?” He angled his body to face her.

She jumped to her feet and stared down at him. “Cole. Seriously. It’s none of your damn business. You left. You never once contacted me in ten years. Why the hell would you care who I dated in that time? You didn’t want me for yourself. Don’t act like you’re retroactively jealous.”

“That’s not true. I wanted you more than my next breath.”

She let out an ugly, mirthless laugh. “Well, you had a funny way of showing it. It was Rodney who picked up the pieces. Rodney took me to lunches and dinners and the movies. He held my hand and stayed by my side while I mourned your loss. While you ran off to live your life, mine was a fucking mess, Cole.”

Cole winced. “I’m sorry. I didn’t know.”

“Yeah, well, Rodney stayed in touch with me. I knew he wanted more. I knew it was cruel of me to string him along. I couldn’t help it. He was my rock. The only thing keeping me from falling off the deep end. So, I finally relented and we started dating romantically. It lasted about two months. I broke it off when he went back to college for his sophomore year. I hurt him.”

“Why did you break up with him, April?”

She backed up, grabbing the arm of the sofa as she put some distance between them. She was breathing heavily, about to explode with word vomit from Cole’s pushing and pushing and pushing.

He repeated the question. “April, I need to know. Why did you break up with him?”

Finally, she snapped and shouted, “Because I wasn’t in love with him, Cole. Are you happy now? I was in love with his best friend. A man who vanished into thin air because he didn’t feel the same way. It wasn’t fair to Rodney to keep dating him, hoping I would come around. He deserved better. I deserved better.”

Cole rose to his feet and stepped closer. “April…”

“Don’t,” she yelled, holding out a hand, palm out. “Don’t touch me right now. I can’t think when you touch me. I’m trying really hard to let the past go right now and be your friend because I know you need one and I’m powerless to stay away from you. But I don’t have more to give you, Cole. I’m broken. A part of me never got over you. Seeing you like this… Acting like nothing ever happened between us… It’s hard, Cole.”

She swallowed and pulled herself together, lowering her voice so the neighbors wouldn’t hear her screaming. “I’m hanging on by a thread here. You’ve made me feel things I never expected to feel again. When you kiss me, my brain scrambles the same way it did ten years ago. I hate how weak I am with you.”

“April…”

She shook her head. “No. Let me speak. You had your chance a decade ago, and you forfeited it. Now, it’s my turn.”

“Okay,” he whispered. “You’re right.”

“Ugh.” She stomped her foot and spun around, heading for her bedroom.

He followed her.

She yanked off her heels and tossed them toward the closet. She wanted to get out of this dress and into something more comfortable, but he was hovering in her doorway. “April…”

She spun around and faced him. “I’m probably making a huge mistake here, letting you back into my life. In fact, I know I am. You’re here for one fucking week. Five more days. And then you’re going to go back to California and go on with your life fighting bad guys in foreign countries. Even if you left my apartment right now and never looked back, the damage would be tremendous.”

She lifted a finger and pointed it at him, needing to get this all out. “You’re going to hurt me again. I don’t even know if I can survive it this time. I thought if I kept you at arm’s length, I could keep my heart out of it. But I was lying to myself. You hit every damn trigger in me just by standing in the room.”

“Ladybug…” He stepped closer.

“No. I’m not done. Stay where you are.”

He stopped advancing and tucked his fingers in the front pockets of his suit pants. He looked so fucking amazing in that damn suit with the tie and dress shoes. She had wondered if he would wear his uniform, but he hadn’t. That might have been worse. Sexier.

“I’m sorry, ladybug.” His voice was soft. “You’re right. Get it all out. I deserve it.”

“Ugh,” she shouted again. “Why do you have to be so fucking nice while I’m mad at you?”

He lowered his head. She could see his chest rising and falling with every breath. She was getting to him.

She sighed and tried to relax her body, taking a deep breath. “The sad thing is I’m not even going to fight it because I can’t, and I don’t want to. I’m yours. I’ve always been yours. No one will ever make me