Backstage Mandy Bee (book series to read .TXT) 📖

has one just like it so he shows me little tricks on how to get to what I want fast. He helps me transfer all my patterns from Chris’s computer with a flash drive.

At one point Justin is behind me with his arms on either side of me, typing in a web address and showing me how to use the search on it. This is a lot different then what I’m used too. He has his hands on my shoulders and is resting his chin on my head when the guys walk in, Chris was first in line to see us like this. Crap he has bad timing! Justin jumps up and watches to see what Chris will do, to my relief he just smiles at me.

“Look what Justin’s mom bought me!” I giggle and pull Chris down into the booth beside me.

“Oh wow! That’s a new MacBook Pro, why did she get you this?” He looks as puzzled as I did when I first saw it.

“John admitted to everything that happened, even to what he called me. She wanted to give me this as a way of saying how sorry they were. I tried not to take it, I told Justin to send it back. But the little jerk called her and then handed me the phone.” I look up at Justin, he is still standing behind us.

“I don’t know what to say, this is way too much, but if you are okay with accepting then I’m happy for you.”Chris smiled at me.

“I wasn’t okay with it, but after talking to her, and seeing her side of it I didn’t really have a choice. But it is the coolest thing ever.” I start showing him everything. When I open the internet page I tell Justin that I want Yahoo to be my homepage, but I need to know how to set it. With Chris sitting right beside me Justin leans over me and with an arm on either side on me again he starts clicking away. My heart is racing! I glance at Chris and he seems fine, he is watching the screen. When Justin is done he runs his hands up my arms then gives my shoulders a squeeze.

“So are you ready for tonight?” Chris asked without looking at me.

“I guess, I still need to pick out what to wear. When do we have to leave?”

“I want you to see what it is like on stage before anyone gets there, so I would like you to come to sound check. Can you be ready in an hour?” Chris hands me some pizza and another soda.

“Yeah I guess so. But can I come back to the bus after my part is over? It would help my nerves if I can have some alone time.” This is true, if I can be alone after all that I should be okay by the time they get back here.

“Only if you let me put a bodyguard outside the door.” Justin answers before Chris can.

“That’s a good idea.” Chris says nodding at Justin.

“Fine by me.”

Getting ready in an hour was harder then I thought. After eating and taking my meds, which I’m still hiding from everyone. I start the task of choosing what to wear. I lay out all six outfits in the back room. Chris asked what the total was for all of them. I told him Justin sent me back to the car before he paid. Neither one of us likes when people spends money on us, so he didn’t like that Justin bought me all these clothes but was happy that I didn’t like it either.

I finally pick a pink sweater dress, black leggings, and my black ankle boots. My hair is up in a twist. I put on my makeup but did the ‘less is more style‘. A pair of sliver hoop earrings and I’m ready to go. I walk out of the bathroom and Chris is waiting for me. The others have gone to work with Peter on stage. Justin wants him to finish the tour with them but I don’t see it happening.

“You look so beautiful!” He says making me want to cry. “I can’t believe how grown up you look.” I take his hand and we head to the arena. I may look grown up but I feel like a scared little girl.

Looking out at all those empty seats makes me want throw up. Tonight there will be thousands of fans staring back at me. I can hear the guys talking to me but I’m not really listening. I’m panicking, I can’t do this! I can’t stand up here and let all those people stare at me, judge me, hate me. Oh God I’m going to be sick. I run off stage and into the closest bathroom. I’m on my knees emptying my stomach for the second time in under a minute when I feel something cold on my neck. I start to let out a scream but then I see Chris.

“You scared me!” I snap at him.

“Sorry, are you okay?”

“I can’t do this Chris, I just can’t. I know I said I would, but I can’t.” I start crying and he pulls me onto his lap, like he used too when I was little. I would get sick, sometimes even cough till I threw up and Chris would put me in his lap and just hold me.

“Let me see what I can do okay? Are you feeling any better, do you think you’ll throw up again?” He is wiping my face with the cold paper towel.

“I’ll be okay, I’m just going to sit here for a minute.” I climb off his lap and bring my knees up to my chest, hugging my legs. He lays the cold paper towel on my neck again then I hear him walk out.

A few minutes later I can hear what sounds like a fight going on. I stand up and straighten my dress, go to the mirror and smooth