The Long Dark Billy Farmer (romantic novels in english .txt) 📖

I’s tryin to find my way back home, I wandered on ‘is huge glowin light. It was one of ‘em orb saucer thangs.”

There was barely enough light in the cab for me to see the look on Tom’s face. From what I could see, it was priceless. It was somewhere between wanting to laugh hysterically and longing for a deep plunge to the bottom of the Chukchi Sea to make it all stop. I personally knew it was going to be a bullshit story because Sam grew up in Eastern Kentucky, and as poor as they were, I doubted he traveled with his friends to the Ozarks or much anywhere outside the holler. That and it was Sam, which was pretty much all that needed to be said.

“I stopped in my tracks, my butthole puckered so tight I could’ve done squeezed coal into a diamond,” he continued, “nearly fallin ta the ground, I struggled for my balance. The glowin light was on me ‘fore I could run away. The next thang I knowed I was in ‘is big vat of green slime, strugglin ta breath and fightin for my life. I felt like I was gonna die. Then, as I was takin my last breath, this short, big eyed little alien fella waddled in the room, with his short legs and whatnot, and pushed some buttons on a panel thingamajiggy. I was out like a light. When I woke up the next mornin… I’s so happy ta be alive. That is, until I felt ‘is horrible pain in my backside. My butthole hurt somethin awful… the damn aliens must’ve gave me a back-side burner… Ya know, shoed the ol’ brown mare… I could understand if ‘ey wanted to check my eyesight or somethin… but why my butthole? I reckon I’m an alien abductor or whatnot.”

If I’m completely honest, I couldn’t help but laughing. It was kind of what we all needed, even though, as expected, Titouan wasn’t happy. He made some, let’s just say, stereotypical and geographically-insensitive slurs towards Sam and a certain sister of his. Sam was probably pissed off, but played things as usual, saying, “What, you jealous ‘cause it wasn’t you gettin the diddlin, Tit? I know all ‘bout you fancy pants boys.”

Avery, on the other hand, was seemingly unaffected. No harm no foul, right?

“There are cases I have read about where abductees had similar experiences. Of course, those experiences were articulated better and much less crudely than your silly recitation, but they are documented nonetheless. But you know what, I get that you are making fun of me,” Avery said, more let down about the episode not being real than he was mad about Sam making fun of him. “Furthermore, it is alien abductee--”

A panicked cry came from the back seat. Titouan had screeched something that barley resembled speech. I flicked on my head lamp and quickly scanned the cab before asking what the hell was going on.

“Outside… I saw something,” he said, this time mostly comprehensible.

I turned my headlamp off and scanned what little real-estate I could see outside the Shining. I couldn’t see anything that would elicit Titouan’s outburst. I turned back towards him. “What the hell is going on?”

Titouan sat slumped over in his seat, seemingly so he couldn’t look out the window or someone couldn’t look in. I wasn’t sure. “I don’t know,” he said, his eyes still wide with fear.

“What the hell do you mean you don’t know?”

I turned towards Tish. She shook her head, letting me know she didn’t see anything. I then glanced at Avery. His face told a different story. “What did you see, bud?”

He didn’t reply.

“Someone tell me what the hell is going on,” I said, losing my temper.

“I’m not sure, William,” Titouan, said, now calmer, but with a tremble in his voice. “It was a man… I think. He looked different. Like he was sick, maybe.”

“You’ins is a bunch of loons,” Sam said. I told him to be quiet.

Avery finally spoke up. “I am not sure what it was. When I heard Titouan yell, I turned to look at him but saw something moving out of my right periphery. I am not sure what it was, or if it was anything. I did not, however, see a person.”

“Stop the truck, Tom,” I said.

“What the hell are you doing, William? Don’t stop. You’re not understanding me. He didn’t look right.”

“Tell me what the hell was wrong with him. We can’t just leave him out there if he’s sick,” I said.

Titouan paused before speaking. “His eyes looked weird. I don’t know, William. He just didn’t look normal, that’s all.”

“You think the sonofabitch would look like Cindy Crawford? He’s out in ‘is damn blizzard,” Sam said.

“Fuck you,” Titouan said.

“I was just makin my story up, Tit. You don’t have to try to one up me with your--”

“Stop it, Sam. No time for this.”

“Just givin him some of his own medicine.”

“Please, Sam.”

He grumbled something under his breath.

I thought I’d ask the sanest person in the cab what he saw. “Tom?”

“Nothing. I don’t think we should stop, though.”

“Let’s just get to Barrow,” Tish said.

I sighed. “Just stop. Maybe he’s our help and he broke down.”

Tom shook his head but abided. The Shining’s diesel engine sputtered and knocked, nearly dying before coming to a full stop.

“I’m thinkin if he was help, I’m doubtin he’d come alone, fellas. Somethin’s not right ‘bout ‘is,” Sam said, finally getting the potential seriousness of the situation.

“Let’s fucking go, okay,” Titouan yelled. “If he’s been out in this, he’s probably near death, anyway.”

I hesitated for a few moments, thinking about what the hell I should do before finally saying, “I’m going to check outside. We can’t leave whoever it is out here to die.”

“You’re crazy,” Titouan said.

I took a step down onto the track. “I’ll be a minute.  That’s all.”

Tish joined Titouan in her desire for me to not go outside. “There are polar bears out there. This is stupid. Please, let’s just go. Besides, Titouan is