The Wings of the Dove Henry James (android based ebook reader TXT) š
- Author: Henry James
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Yet all the while too the tension had its charmā āsuch being the interest of a creature who could bring one back to her by such different roads. It was her talent for life again; which found in her a difference for the differing time. She didnāt give their tradition up; she but made of it something new. Frankly moreover she had never been more agreeable nor in a wayā āto put it prosaicallyā ābetter company: he felt almost as if he were knowing her on that defined basisā āwhich he even hesitated whether to measure as reduced or as extended; as if at all events he were admiring her as she was probably admired by people she met āout.ā He hadnāt in fine reckoned that she would still have something fresh for him; yet this was what she hadā āthat on the top of a tram in the Borough he felt as if he were next her at dinner. What a person she would be if they had been richā āwith what a genius for the so-called great life, what a presence for the so-called great house, what a grace for the so-called great positions! He might regret at once, while he was about it, that they werenāt princes or billionaires. She had treated him on their Christmas to a softness that had struck him at the time as of the quality of fine velvet, meant to fold thick, but stretched a little thin; at present, however, she gave him the impression of a contact multitudinous as only the superficial can be. She had throughout never a word for what went on at home. She came out of that and she returned to it, but her nearest reference was the look with which, each time, she bade him goodbye. The look was her repeated prohibition: āItās what I have to see and to knowā āso donāt touch it. That but wakes up the old evil, which I keep still, in my way, by sitting by it. I go nowā āleave me alone!ā āto sit by it again. The way to pity meā āif thatās what you wantā āis to believe in me. If we could really do anything it would be another matter.ā
He watched her, when she went her way, with the vision of what she thus a little stiffly carried. It was confused and obscure, but how, with her head high, it made her hold herself! He really in his own person might at these moments have been swaying a little aloft as one of the objects in her poised basket. It was doubtless thanks to some such consciousness as this that he felt the lapse of the weeks, before the day of Kateās mounting of his stair, almost swingingly rapid. They contained for him the contradiction that, whereas periods of waiting are supposed in general to keep the time slow, it was the wait, actually, that made the pace trouble him. The secret of that anomaly, to be plain, was that he was aware of how, while the days melted, something rare went with them. This something was only a thought, but a thought precisely of such freshness and such delicacy as made the precious, of whatever sort, most subject to the hunger of time. The thought was all his own, and his intimate companion was the last person he might have shared it with. He kept it back like a favourite pang; left it behind him, so to say, when he went out, but came home again the sooner for the certainty of finding it there. Then he took it out of its sacred corner and its soft wrappings; he undid them one by one, handling them, handling it, as a father, baffled and tender, might handle a maimed child. But so it was before himā āin his dread of who else might see it. Then he took to himself at such hours, in other words, that he should never, never know what had been in Millyās letter. The intention announced in it he should but too probably know; only that would have been, but for the depths of his spirit, the least part of it. The part of it missed forever was the turn she would have given her act. This turn had possibilities that, somehow, by wondering about them, his imagination had extraordinarily filled out and refined. It had made of them a revelation the loss of which was like the sight of a priceless pearl cast before his eyesā āhis pledge given not to save itā āinto the fathomless sea, or rather even it was like the sacrifice of something sentient and throbbing, something that, for the spiritual ear, might have been audible as a faint far wail. This was the sound he cherished
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