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guess,” he said, though I knew Manny well enough to know he had more respect for his mom and how hard she’d worked.

Maria Gonzalez was a saint, and her boys knew it. She’d raised three of them as a single mother from the time Manny’s oldest brother was five. Their father hadn’t been a stable figure in their lives before he went to prison, and he certainly wasn’t one now. Of the three boys, Manny was the only one who took the time to visit him, and those visits were still few and far between.

I had no idea what it was like to have a parent who was there for you from the beginning and would be until the end. The kids in this neighborhood weren’t exactly lucky when it came to family dynamics, but Manny’d hit the jackpot with his mother.

A few other kids came over to get a game going, including a twelve-year-old girl named Yazmine who had some serious skills. I let them play a three-on-three and was heading over to help a few kids do summer work at a nearby picnic table when my phone vibrated in my pocket.

I pulled it out to silence it, but when I saw that the Caller ID said Melissa, I answered. Though we didn’t talk much anymore, I’d made a promise to myself that I’d answer whenever she called. And I didn’t plan to break it.

“Hey,” I said, slowing my walk down a bit and plugging my other ear with a finger so I could hear her over the kids.

“Hey, Rans.” No matter how infrequently I talked to Melissa, it was always nice to hear her voice. “Did I catch you at a bad time?” She must’ve heard the noise in the background.

“No, no, you’re good.” It wasn’t exactly true, but to be fair, no time was ever great. I was usually either working or at school. Harry wouldn’t care if I took a quick phone call, because he knew I’d only answer if it was important. “What’s up?”

Melissa and I hadn’t made a habit of talking unless there was a reason. I wasn’t sure if that had been more her doing or mine. I did know that along with the good memories attached to her voice, there were also too many that were bad. And Melissa knew that too.

“Well, first of all, how are you?”

“I’m good, I’m good. Busy but good. Just started the fall semester of classes.”

“Okay, so that’s good things are good. I didn’t know you were starting school. Is it a… What kind of program is it?”

“Master’s in sports medicine. Figured that’d be the most practical next step.”

Melissa laughed softly. “Listen to you being practical. I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Yeah, well, a lot’s changed I guess.”

The Ransom Melissa had last known was a kid in more ways than I realized at the time. I’d been nineteen, had just started my freshman year on a full ride, and thought I’d play professionally. It was the first time I was truly excited about my future, and I had every reason to be. I’d vowed to myself that my past was my past—that Melissa, Matt, and Emily were more than a family I knew from my after-school program. They were my family—the first real family I’d ever had. Or at least the first family I’d ever had who gave a shit about me. It was amazing how five years could feel like a lifetime ago, especially since I felt like I’d already experienced more of life than most people twice my age have.

“How’s Matt?” I asked, knowing the answer. It was one of the reasons I’d distanced myself from Matt and Melissa, and it made me feel like shit to acknowledge it.

“He’s okay. You know how he gets.”

I didn’t know if that meant he was drinking too much again—not that I could blame him if he was. Losing Emily had been one of the most painful experiences I’d ever had. I couldn’t imagine the hurt that came with losing a child, which was one of the reasons I never planned to become a father.

There was a long pause on the other end of the line, and I wondered if she was crying but was afraid to ask. I was such a pussy sometimes.

Her sniffle gave me my answer, though I wouldn’t acknowledge it out loud.

“We miss you, Rans.”

“I miss you guys too.” It was true. How could it not be? Melissa and Matt had been rocks for me after I’d spent most of my childhood being tossed around in a sea of uncertainty. I’d clung to them—all three of them—until three had become two. Then it just became too painful. For all of us. “I don’t wanna rush you off the phone, Melissa, but I gotta get back to work.”

“Sorry. I’ll get to it, then. Kari called us. Has she called you?”

Melissa already knew the answer to that, or she wouldn’t have contacted me.

“Yeah. A few times, I think. She only left a message once, though.”

“What’d she say?”

“Same thing Kari always says. She’s clean. She wants to see me. Typical stuff.”

“How’d she sound to you?”

“I don’t know. It was a short message.” I hadn’t even given it much thought because I had no intention of seeing her. I didn’t even know Kari well enough to evaluate her sobriety with any amount of accuracy.

“Well, she called me,” Melissa said. “We talked for a while. She sounded good. The best I’ve ever heard her sound, actually.”

“Well, considering her usual state, that’s hard to believe.”

A few kids had started tossing around a football, and they were waving me over. I held up a finger and gave them a nod.

“She’s your mother, Rans.”

I understood why Melissa always said that, but that didn’t stop me from hating it. Giving birth to me did not make Kari any type of mother. Matt and Melissa had been there for me long before they’d taken me into their home. I’d aged out of the system

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