Seven Demons Aidan Truhen (reading an ebook TXT) 📖

yeah Martin does not smell of city poseur he has hands like unfinished pine like this table like this whole house.

Jesus I wonder if he built this house.

Jesus that is a lot of snow. Are we gonna get snowed in?

Jesus I hope there’s Internet.

If I had a phone I could check and see if I could use my phone.

I wonder if he has a password on his Wi-Fi.

Or maybe he just locks his pigeon loft.

Fuck.

I fucking hate Switzerland.

—

Pressed white linen and expensively neutral detergent. Crisp, mid-high thread count, soft as goose feathers. Large ugly Soviet peering down at me is not a plus also I am pretty sure I am imagining him because he has on a chef’s hat and an apron.

Unless I am about to be ham.

“Oh hey what time is it? Fuck that I’m getting up—”

(I do not get up. I sort of wiggle a bit. It is very tiring.)

“O for love of Stalin’s cock don’t be dipshit Price you lost maybe one and half pint you’re gonna feel like shit. Lie down stay in bed. I bring you Goulaschsuppe.”

“I do not like Goulaschsuppe.”

“You got no idea what it is.”

“That is true and that also is part of why I do not like it what is it?”

“Meat stew with paprika. Everything in this country is with paprika. Even the catsup is with paprika. Also curry for salad dressing. These people are insane.”

“I want a beer.”

“Goulaschsuppe.”

“Crazy Russian.”

“I am Ukrainian. Is different now don’t be in my minorities.”

“Everything is different now. What are you even doing here where the fuck am I?”

“Bed.”

“O fuck off and get the horrible soup.”

“Sure Price. I go, you stay. Was my whole point.”

“Hey buddy where you going?”

“I am going Price.”

“To get soup?”

“Sure.”

—

I sleep and then I open my eyes and Martin is coming through the door.

“Jack? I am home!”

“Hi Martin O Hai you brought a friend I am a little bit almost naked sorry hi.”

“Yes this is Hannah.”

“Hi Hannah.”

Hannah has her hands empty and loose by her sides. It’s where seriously dangerous people keep their hands when they don’t want you to think they are about to fuck you up. Officer Hannah or Sergeant Hannah or Ranger Hannah: she is five foot four and she has wide shoulders and strong arms like she would change a tire one-handed; swimmer’s muscle as if her momma was a dolphin. A sexy Aryan dolphin from maybe from an extremely inappropriate manga cartoon. Short hair like a motorcycle helmet and a wide rose mouth that smiles and she is—fuck she is the negative universe version of Doc. Doc is tall and witchy and you can see her mind in her eyes. She is so smart you are closer to a monkey than you are to what is going on in her head. Hannah is broad and mountain strong and not the same but the eyes are there like she is alive in her own head fully present and real.

Not cop Hannah not officer not sergeant.

Agent Hannah.

My leg hurts and as I look at Hannah I have a boner. I get a fear boner the way rabbits do shortly before they get eaten that is absolutely one hundred percent a thing that happens to rabbits.

O God she’s a fed. She’s a fed like some sort of appalling Swiss elixir of fedness the way Martin is just an old caretaker who can do field medicine and carry me unconscious up a flight of stairs at altitude. Just like that I know Hannah has competences and skills and ways and means.

O o o o—

O damn it all to fuck.

Hannah the Anti-Doc Hannah says: “Hello Jack I am Hannah Müller and I am here to place you in custody. You have committed offenses under Swiss law. Please keep your arms and legs inside your restraints at all times and do not put your head out of the car or it may be cut off.”

—

Holy shit that voice like Lauren Bacall she’s a smoker and a drinker of whisky after midnight that I do know. Learned English somewhere in North America I’m gonna say upstate New York. She’s still talking. Also what offenses? I do not know and she has not specified and for obvious reasons I don’t want to suggest some that would be counterproductive.

She’s still talking.

“Do not flee into the snow. We will catch you but if you escape you have the right to have your toes fall off. You have the right to die of exposure and Martin and his mountain rescue team will retrieve your corpse tomorrow and take photographs for the coroner.”

I look at Martin and he shrugs yes.

Hannah says: “Okay Jack we are going down the mountain together. I am certain you are just in the wrong place at the wrong time and this will all be sorted out. Are you going to give me any trouble? If you give me any trouble I will have to give it back. Which will make me sad Jack because you are my kind of trouble I’m QUITE sure.”

WINK.

Omigod she—that is SO inappropriate—she is doing a thing at me like hi I’ll be your arresting sexy-time secret agent today this is me working my anti-Doc on you and no of course you cannot touch this.

(Synth brass.)

Can’t touch this.

Anti-Doc.

Agent Hannah.

She puts my arms in the approved position and cuffs me with the real cuffs with the short metal rod between them which you cannot get out of. She just happened to fucking have these on her? Or she’s a fucking neighbor?

Someone has changed the bandage on my leg so Doc’s fingerprints are just on my skin Jesus I wonder if Doc’s actual fingerprints are anywhere and if they’ll think to check.

I have been working on a story I totally have an explanation for all this like you see where I was attacked in the street and bandaged up by a medical professional and then unfortunately I became I guess non-lucid and tore my stitches and wandered off before I