The Second Mrs. Tanqueray Arthur W. Pinero (free children's online books txt) š
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to Mrs. Misquith and to Mrs. Jayne when you get homeā ādonāt forget that. Well, your wives may notā ālikeā āthe lady Iām going to marry.
Jayne
Aubrey, forgive me for suggesting that the lady you are going to marry may not like our wivesā āmine at least; I beg your pardon, Frank.
Aubrey
Quite so; then I must go the way my wife goes.
Misquith
Come, come, pray donāt let us anticipate that either side will be called upon to make such a sacrifice.
Aubrey
Yes, yes, let us anticipate it. And let us make up our minds to have no slow bleeding-to-death of our friendship. Weāll end a pleasant chapter here tonight, and after tonight start afresh. When my wife and I settle down at Willowmere itās possible that we shall all come together. But if this isnāt to be, for Heavenās sake let us recognise that it is simply because it canāt be, and not wear hypocritical faces and suffer and be wretched. Doctor, Frankā āHolding out his hands, one to Misquith, the other to Jayneā āgood luck to all of us!
Misquith
Butā ābutā ādo I understand we are to ask nothing? Not even the ladyās name, Aubrey?
Aubrey
The lady, my dear Frank, belongs to the next chapter, and in that her name is Mrs. Aubrey Tanqueray.
Jayne
Raising his coffee cup. Then, in an old-fashioned way, I propose a toast. Aubrey, Frank, I give you āThe Next Chapter!ā
They drink the toast, saying, āThe Next Chapter!ā
Aubrey
Doctor, find a comfortable chair; Frank, you too. As weāre going to turn out by-and-by, let me scribble a couple of notes now while I think of them.
Misquith and Jayne
Certainlyā āyes, yes.
Aubrey
It might slip my memory when I get back.
Aubrey sits at a writing-table at the other end of the room, and writes.
Jayne
To Misquith, in a whisper. Frankā āMisquith quietly leaves his chair and sits nearer to Jayne. What is all this? Simply a morbid crank of Aubreyās with regard to ante-nuptial acquaintances?
Misquith
Hām! Did you notice one expression he used?
Jayne
Let me thinkā ā
Misquith
āMy marriage is not even the conventional sort of marriage likely to satisfy society.ā
Jayne
Bless me, yes! What does that suggest?
Misquith
That he has a particular rather than a general reason for anticipating estrangement from his friends, Iām afraid.
Jayne
A horrible mĆ©salliance! A dairymaid who has given him a glass of milk during a dayās hunting, or a little anemic shopgirl! Frank, Iām utterly wretched!
Misquith
My dear Jayne, speaking in absolute confidence, I have never been more profoundly depressed in my life.
Morse enters.
Morse
Announcing. Mr. Drummle.
Cayley Drummle enters briskly. He is a neat little man of about five-and-forty, in manner bright, airy, debonair, but with an undercurrent of seriousness.
Morse retires.
Drummle
Iām in disgrace; nobody realises that more thoroughly than I do. Whereās my host?
Aubrey
Who has risen. Cayley.
Drummle
Shaking hands with him. Donāt speak to me till I have tendered my explanation. A harsh word from anybody would unman me.
Misquith and Jayne shake hands with Drummle.
Aubrey
Have you dined?
Drummle
Noā āunless you call a bit of fish, a cutlet, and a pancake dining.
Aubrey
Cayley, this is disgraceful.
Jayne
Fish, a cutlet, and a pancake will require a great deal of explanation.
Misquith
Especially the pancake. My dear friend, your case looks miserably weak.
Drummle
Hear me! hear me!
Jayne
Now then!
Misquith
Come!
Aubrey
Well!
Drummle
It so happens that tonight I was exceptionally early in dressing for dinner.
Misquith
For which dinnerā āthe fish and cutlet?
Drummle
For this dinner, of courseā āreally, Frank! At a quarter to eight, in fact, I found myself trimming my nails, with ten minutes to spare. Just then enter my man with a noteā āwould I hasten, as fast as cab could carry me, to old Lady Orreyed in Bruton Street?ā āāsad trouble.ā Now, recollect, please, I had ten minutes on my hands, old Lady Orreyed was a very dear friend of my motherās, and was in some distress.
Aubrey
Cayley, come to the fish and cutlet?
Misquith and Jayne
Yes, yes, and the pancake!
Drummle
Upon my word! Well, the scene in Bruton Street beggars description; the women servants looked scared, the men drunk; and there was poor old Lady Orreyed on the floor of her boudoir like Queen Bess among her pillows.
Aubrey
Whatās the matter?
Drummle
To everybody. You know George Orreyed?
Misquith
Yes.
Jayne
Iāve met him.
Drummle
Well, heās a thing of the past.
Aubrey
Not dead!
Drummle
Certainly, in the worst sense. Heās married Mabel Hervey.
Misquith
What!
Drummle
Itās trueā āthis morning. The poor mother showed me his letterā āa dozen curt words, and some of those ill-spelt.
Misquith
Walking up to the fireplace. Iām very sorry.
Jayne
Pardon my ignoranceā āwho was Mabel Hervey?
Drummle
You donātā ā? Oh, of course not. Miss Herveyā āLady Orreyed, as she now isā āwas a lady who would have been, perhaps has been, described in the reports of the Police or the Divorce Court as an actress. Had she belonged to a lower stratum of our advanced civilisation she would, in the event of judicial inquiry, have defined her calling with equal justification as that of a dressmaker. To do her justice, she is a type of a class which is immortal. Physically, by the strange caprice of creation, curiously beautiful; mentally, she lacks even the strength of deliberate viciousness. Paint her portrait, it would symbolise a creature perfectly patrician; lance a vein of her superbly-modelled arm, you would get the poorest vin ordinaire! Her affections, emotions, impulses, her very existenceā āa burlesque! Flaxen, five-and-twenty, and feebly frolicsome; anybodyās, in less gentle society I should say everybodyās, property! That, doctor, was Miss Hervey who is the new Lady Orreyed. Dost thou like the picture?
Misquith
Very good, Cayley! Bravo!
Aubrey
Laying his hand on Drummleās shoulder. Youād scarcely believe it, Jayne, but none of us really know anything about this lady, our gay young friend here, I suspect, least of all.
Drummle
Aubrey, I applaud your chivalry.
Aubrey
And perhaps youāll let me finish a couple of letters which Frank and Jayne have given
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