O’Roon
A Ramble in Aphasia
The Making of a New Yorker
A Service of Love
Psyche and the Pskyscraper
A Cosmopolite in a Café
The Girl and the Habit
Vanity and Some Sables
The Unknown Quantity
Babes in the Jungle
The Song and the Sergeant
Man About Town
Memoirs of a Yellow Dog
Mammon and the Archer
The Detective Detector
“Little Speck in Garnered Fruit”
The Shocks of Doom
Extradited from Bohemia
The Red Roses of Tonia
Springtime à la Carte
Between Rounds
Tommy’s Burglar
The Marry Month of May
The Girl and the Graft
The Call of the Tame
According to Their Lights
Roses, Ruses and Romance
The Voice of the City
Hostages to Momus
I
II
III
IV
Sisters of the Golden Circle
The Dog and the Playlet
An Adjustment of Nature
A Midsummer Knight’s Dream
The Lost Blend
An Unfinished Story
Nemesis and the Candy Man
The City of Dreadful Night
The Skylight Room
The Assessor of Success
From Each According to His Ability
The Poet and the Peasant
A Bird of Bagdad
The Plutonian Fire
“The Guilty Party”
The Count and the Wedding Guest
The Last Leaf
Elsie in New York
The Clarion Call
The Tale of a Tainted Tenner
Two Thanksgiving Day Gentlemen
Blind Man’s Holiday
Telemachus, Friend
A Double-Dyed Deceiver
The Gift of the Magi
The Duel
The Thing’s the Play
The Rubaiyat of a Scotch Highball
The Buyer from Cactus City
The Harbinger
The Day Resurgent
The Fool-Killer
The Handbook of Hymen
Brickdust Row
Sociology in Serge and Straw
“Girl”
A Ruler of Men
The Trimmed Lamp
The Higher Abdication
Calloway’s Code
The Country of Elusion
The Ethics of Pig
Compliments of the Season
Seats of the Haughty
The Purple Dress
Past One at Rooney’s
The Indian Summer of Dry Valley Johnson
The Man Higher Up
Proof of the Pudding
The Halberdier of the Little Rheinschloss
The Caballero’s Way
The Ransom of Red Chief
The Fifth Wheel
The World and the Door
Phoebe
“Next to Reading Matter”
The Day We Celebrate
The Octopus Marooned
Jeff Peters as a Personal Magnet
Modern Rural Sports
The Chair of Philanthromathematics
The Hand That Riles the World
The Exact Science of Matrimony
A Midsummer Masquerade
Shearing the Wolf
Innocents of Broadway
Conscience in Art
The Memento
The Enchanted Profile
A Night in New Arabia
The Headhunter
The Moment of Victory
“The Rose of Dixie”
Buried Treasure
The Last of the Troubadours
Strictly Business
“What You Want”
The Hiding of Black Bill
Schools and Schools
I
II
III
IV
V
The Discounters of Money
He Also Serves
The Third Ingredient
Thimble, Thimble
Helping the Other Fellow
II
III
IV
Supply and Demand
To Him Who Waits
The Higher Pragmatism
I
II
Bestseller
I
II
III
IV
No Story
A Poor Rule
Rus in Urbe
The Venturers
A Municipal Report
A Christmas Pi
A Technical Error
Let Me Feel Your Pulse
The Friendly Call
The Snow Man
Law and Order
An Unfinished Christmas Story
The Unprofitable Servant
A Fog in Santone
The Dream
Endnotes
Colophon
Uncopyright
Imprint
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Lord Oakhurst’s Curse
I
Lord Oakhurst lay dying in the oak chamber in the eastern wing of Oakhurst Castle. Through the open window in the calm of the summer evening, came the sweet fragrance of the early violets and budding trees, and to the dying man it seemed as if earth’s loveliness and beauty were never so apparent as on this bright June day, his last day of life.
His young wife, whom he loved with a devotion and strength that the presence of the king of terrors himself could not alter, moved about the apartment, weeping and sorrowful, sometimes arranging the sick man’s pillow and inquiring of him in low, mournful tones if anything could be done to give him comfort, and again, with stifled sobs, eating some chocolate caramels which she carried in the pocket of her apron. The servants went to and fro with that quiet and subdued tread which prevails in a house where death is an expected guest, and even the crash of broken china and shivered glass, which announced their approach, seemed to fall upon the ear with less violence and sound than usual.
Lord Oakhurst was thinking of days gone by, when he wooed and won his beautiful young wife, who was then but a charming and innocent girl. How clearly and minutely those scenes rose up at the call of his memory. He seemed to be standing once more beneath the old chestnut grove where they had plighted their troth in the twilight under the stars; while the rare fragrance of the June roses and the smell of supper came gently by on the breeze. There he had told her his love; how that his whole happiness and future joy lay in the hope that he might win her for a bride; that if she would trust her future to his care the devotedness of his lifetime should be hers,
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