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making it all the way up to the position of Health and Safety Compliance Manager at the Housing Association where I have worked ever since I turned thirty and added a semblance of adult responsibility to my life. Iā€™ve ticked off everything Iā€™ve ever wanted to do, including getting married to a wonderful man, and now itā€™s time for the last thing on my list.

Itā€™s time to be a mum.

Iā€™ve enjoyed the start to my maternity leave, and even though I know it will be a lot different when Samuel is here to spend it with me, I am already debating whether or not I want to go back to work when my leave is up. I have a feeling I wonā€™t want to leave my smiling baby boy once he arrives, so perhaps being a stay-at-home mum is the next step in my evolution. Itā€™s a far cry from the woman I used to be in my twenties when I spent more time on the town than I did in a house, but now Iā€™m hurtling towards forty and things have changed. Iā€™m content to stay in and watch television instead of going out drinking and dancing now. Iā€™m happy enough to spend my money on baby clothes and toys instead of shoes and handbags for myself. And Iā€™m certainly settled enough with the love of my husband who worships me and will do anything for me and the family we are creating.

I met Adam on one of my typical boozy weekends four years ago, and for the first time in my life, I actually felt like I had found a guy I wanted to see more than just for sex and the occasional date. It was a big step for me to forgo my fun-filled life as a singleton and commit myself to one man, but thatā€™s what I did when we began dating seriously. The wedding that followed two years later was the ultimate act to prove to myself, my family and my friends that I had actually grown up and become a more civilised member of society, instead of the drunken and debauched spinster they expected me to be forever. Now here I am sitting in my jogging pants and sipping a glass of water while I wait for my husband to come home and tell me about his fun night. I havenā€™t touched a drop of alcohol in nine months, and I havenā€™t worn anything sexy for close to twelve.

Itā€™s official.

I really am an adult now.

Not that Adam is out there having all the fun that I canā€™t. He is driving tonight, which means heā€™ll have only had two drinks at most during the party. Iā€™m quite pleased about that because it means he wonā€™t come home tipsy and smelling of booze and remind me of all the fun I could have been having if I hadnā€™t gone and got myself ā€œwith child.ā€ But Adam isnā€™t the type of guy who would go out and get drunk while his partner is pregnant anyway, even if he wasnā€™t driving tonight. Thatā€™s because he knows how tough these last nine months have been for me and what my body is having to go through, and he has always done whatever he can to be supportive. That means he never drinks a beer or glass of wine in front of me when he knows that I canā€™t. It means he doesnā€™t talk about how much weight he is losing at the gym when he knows that Iā€™m piling on the pounds. And he never goes into too much detail about the social events he is attending because he doesnā€™t want to make me jealous, instead just saying he will be home a little later than usual on occasion and leaving it at that.

He really is great, and I canā€™t wait to see him with Samuel. I know he will be an amazing father. But I am a little surprised that he isnā€™t home yet. He had promised me he would be back by nine at the latest and itā€™s now quarter past. Perhaps he got chatting to a colleague and couldnā€™t get away. Maybe thereā€™s a problem on the roads and heā€™s been forced to take a different route home.

Or what if heā€™s been in an accident and is lying lifeless by the roadside somewhere, leaving me behind as a widow with a child to raise by myself?

I push the last thought from my mind quickly because it is a ridiculous one. Adam isnā€™t dead. He will be home any minute now and he will be here to help me bring this baby into the world. Of course he will and thank god too, because the thought of doing it on my own is terrifying. I need his support during the birth, and Iā€™ll certainly need it through all the long days and nights when Samuel needs feeding, changing and soothing. The scary thoughts of losing Adam never really came to me until I got pregnant, but now, they seem to come all the time. Thatā€™s because I know I would be lost without him. But letā€™s hope it never comes to that. Thereā€™s no reason to think it would.

Itā€™s two minutes later when I hear the car pulling onto our driveway, and I smile because my worst fears havenā€™t been realised today. My husband is home. Everything is going to be alright. But then the front door opens and I hear Adam calling out to me in a desperate tone, and I realise how foolish I was for thinking everything was going to be okay.

Everything is not okay.

In fact, everything is now ruined.

2

LAURA

ā€˜Slow down. Youā€™re not making any sense.ā€™

My words are meant to calm my husband down enough so that I can get a clearer understanding of what he is saying, but they donā€™t seem to have worked. Heā€™s still just as breathless and agitated as when he first came through the door ten

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