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a smile of embarrassment. “Sorry, it’s been a long time for me, so please excuse that. My body just reacted.”

“You truly do not find me repulsive?” Leeha asks me, with some doubt again in her voice.

“Leeha, I am not sure how many times I need to say it, but you are the sexiest woman I have ever met, in this world, or in mine. Trust me. I do not find you repulsive,” I declare.

“Then why have you not taken me?” she asks with a lascivious smile.

“What?” I blurt out. “I don’t even know you!”

“And? Do you not find me attractive, even though I do not repulse you? I find you very handsome, and I am drawn to you,” she tells me with a frown.

“Leeha, didn’t I just say I found you the sexiest woman I have ever met?” I ask her with a raised eyebrow.

“Then why won’t you bed me?” she says.

“Because I just met you,” I tell her hesitantly. What the hell? Do people fuck right after meeting in this world? Or is this something that God is doing? What the fuck is his plan here? He has given me powers which, according to Leeha, come about once every thousand years. And I am pretty sure I am, or will be, even more powerful because of my English and the words I can use. Is he also making it so women fall for me?

“God!” I scream in English at the top of my lungs.

Suddenly Leeha falls forward next to me, completely passed out. “What the fuck!” I shout, grabbing her dead weight in my hands.

“Sorry, can’t have her seeing me,” says a voice in English.

I look over and see God sitting in front of the dying fire. He’s sitting in an Adirondack chair, and I get a whiff of tobacco from his pipe. I gawk at him in astonishment, and then I look back down at Leeha worriedly.

“She is fine. As I said, I can’t have her see me, so I put her to sleep. I can’t freeze time; just like I can’t go back in time. Playing at all with time is impossible,” God says with a grin. He takes the pipe out of his mouth points at the ground with it, and says, “Just put her down gently and come have a chat with me.” Suddenly a second Adirondack chair appears in front of the fire, on the opposite side of him.

Gently, I put Leeha down and slowly make my way to the chair. I sit down and look at God in silence for a couple of minutes before finally asking him, “Meaning no disrespect, God, but what the fuck is going on! How come I can see things like spells and power, in my head? And how come I can use all five Elemental magics here? And why is Leeha literally throwing herself at me!” I say, slamming my hand down on the chair at each question.

“You’re an experiment,” God tells me. He is still in the clothes he was in when I first saw him, looking like an old lumberjack.

“What do you mean, an ‘experiment’,” I ask him, doing air quotes as I speak.

“Let’s just say that Hell is getting full. And I have nowhere to put all those damn souls. So I need to figure out a way to weed folks out so that they can get into the lower worlds of Heaven. I might be powerful, but even I can run out of room. Right now, Heaven, or as they call it in this world, Lahala, Paradise, Afterlife, as each planet has a different name for it, is sitting empty. Or the Heaven Worlds are, while the Hell Worlds are choking on the number of souls on them.”

“And how is me seeing numbers and spells supposed to help with that?” I interrupt him.

“Easy. Actually, I got the idea from your Earth, truth be told. I will say one thing about you Earthlings,” God says, chuckling, “you come up with some amazing shit. Like this.” He holds up his pipe. “Best damn tobacco anywhere in the universe. I have been watching your TV and browsing the internet. Most of it means your world is all going to Hell, but I did see one idea that I really liked. A person in a game world who could see stats and crap like that. Well, neat idea, but I never saw a use for it until I thought about it some more.”

“Wait, you want to turn this world into a game world?” I ask him, confused.

“What? No,” he says with a laugh. “Well, not completely. This Elemental Summoner, as you called yourself, is something we introduced into this world about, hmm, I would say 100,000 years ago? It destabilizes the world but at the same time, increases the overall level of worship and piety of the people. When that happens, more people get into Heaven, which is good. As I stated, Hell is getting full. But even that practice is starting to stagnate,” he complains.

“So,” he continues, knocking his pipe against the wall behind him-the wall that I had created-and removing the ashes from the bowl. He refills it from the pouch in his pocket and lights it before he goes on. “I wanted to add this ability to other worlds, so that they can see what it will take them to get into Heaven. I am using it on you so that I can test and tweak the system I want to create later on. Now, it won’t be as invasive as it is in some of the stories I have read. You won’t see the information unless you want to. But I will be adding the spell's power usage and the power left in your pool- and I might add that it showing you the amount was a distinct surprise or byproduct of me giving you all five Elemental magics-and one other thing,” he says with a grin.

“One more thing?” I ask him cautiously.

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