Recovery Nicole Dykes (best motivational books to read TXT) 📖

I lie back down on my bed and try to will away the memories dredged up by today.

I want to forget, but no part of me craves going back to any substance to do that.

I’ll never do that again.

It’s been a couple days since I sat down and listened to Jase tell me his story. I still think he could be an addict, but he insists he isn’t. I haven’t brought it up again.

We’re roommates.

And that’s all we need to be.

The last thing I want is to turn into my mother. But I do think Jase is a good guy. I think it’s admirable that he continues to go to meetings and he’s sponsoring a young addict. I just can’t be part of that world. I need to distance myself from it as much as I can.

Keep my head down and get the hell out of here.

“Hey!” Quinn places a drink in front of me on the bar with a great big grin. “So, you talked to Jase?”

She must know I did with the way she’s asking. I nod. “I did.”

“Good. And he told you everything?”

Again I nod. “He did. I still think he could be an addict, but I get why you didn’t feel the need to warn me.”

She smiles. “He’s a good guy.”

“Who could have killed someone from his substance abuse.” I can’t completely let him off the hook. I just can’t.

She takes a deep breath and then sighs. “Yes, which is awful. But he’s atoned for his sins. And none of us are totally innocent.”

“I know.”

“So how did you leave things?”

“No more sex.” I’m adamant about that. She nods her head in agreement. “But we’re roommates . . . Maybe friends.”

“Good. So you’ll be at Finn’s party tomorrow?”

“Finn’s party?”

She busies herself behind the bar now, grabbing more drinks as a crowd of people rush in. There was a concert tonight, and it must have just let out. “Yeah. His birthday is tomorrow. It’s at the loft, and Logan and I even got a babysitter.”

“You guys are all fine with Jase drinking?”

She looks like she’s searching for the right words now. “Yes. I’m telling you, Mya. He’s not an alcoholic. He’s really not. I’ve known him for a long time. I’ve been around him at parties and here. He never, ever gets out of control.”

“Until he does.”

“He doesn’t.” She seems so certain, but there’s a nagging feeling in my gut.

“Well, you know him far better than I do.”

“Just go to the party. I think it will be a lot of fun.”

I nod my head and pick up the drinks to deliver them. When I get back, I see Jase and Finn sitting at the bar. “There’s my favorite waitress,” Finn exclaims, and I shake my head at him.

“You guys don’t have to work?”

“Just got off,” Jase says, picking up the beer Quinn just placed in front of him, but he hesitates as he brings it to his lips. He’s looking at me, waiting for me to say something. I don’t. He’s a grown man. If he thinks he can handle it, and all of his closest friends think he can, then that’s up to him.

He finishes lifting it to his lips and takes a drink. I watch his throat as he swallows, and my eyes focus a little too long on his lips when he places the bottle back down on the bar. He eyes me, his eyebrow lifting with curiosity, and I look away.

Trying to find a table that needs help, hoping for a reprieve because this man is far too tempting.

I was doing just fine without sex. Then I had it twice with him. And now, I can’t seem to stop thinking about it. About how fucking good it felt when he filled me completely. About his soft lips against mine, his strong body wrapping around mine.

Stop.

I walk toward the door to greet some newcomers, following them to their booth and taking their order, trying like hell to forget about the way Jase made me feel.

I know I seem crazy.

Maybe I am.

But I can’t go there again.

“Well?”

I walk into the loft after my shift. And of fucking course, Finn has already started the party. Logan and Quinn closed down for the night just for this asshole’s birthday.

I grin at him. “What?”

He punches me in the arm, a full bottle of tequila in his hand and people crammed into our apartment. “Happy birthday.”

I shake my head. “It’s not my birthday.”

He glares at me, and I love messing with this motherfucker. “Shithead.”

“Happy birthday, fucker.” He hands me a beer that I gladly take and can’t help myself from scanning the room for Mya. Because I can’t stop thinking about her. She doesn’t want me, not for sex. She says she wants friendship, but we haven’t really talked since I told her about all my bullshit.

I don’t get it. I’m really not an addict, although I still go to meetings to make damn sure I’m not. But she looked almost repulsed by me.

I zone in on her, standing by the large window overlooking the street, talking to Quinn. I can’t take my eyes off her.

“Dude, are you going to spend the whole night staring at our hot new roommate?”

I still haven’t told Finn about anything that’s happened between Mya and me. Why? I’m not entirely sure. “I’m not.”

“You are.” He takes a swig out of the massive vodka bottle in his hand and offers me a drink.

I shake my head, but take it from him, placing it on the table. “I’m not.”

“Are.”

Finn may as well be my brother, but right now, I’m trying not to put the fucker in a headlock until he knocks it off. “Fine. I am.” And that’s exactly where my eyes are. Pinned to her in her peach dress that dips low enough to show a little cleavage but remains classy. Her hair is swept up, and she’s fucking perfect, annoyingly so.

“Man, she doesn’t want us.