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of the telly. A couple of female nurses were in the front row, filling out papers and glancing up at some antique bargains show. And then I saw her- Nina’s hair and waif figure- at that moment rising up and picking up her seat. She swung it onto her shoulder, taking little steps towards the back of the room, where she placed it down before the window and sat.

Nobody else seemed to notice her. I had another look then picked up another chair. I drew up cautiously at her right side, but her big brown eyes didn’t even blink.

“Hey! Can I sit here?” I asked, in as friendly a voice as I could.

Her thin, little arms were spread out on the armrests and she was slouched on the bottom of her spine, staring out the window fixatedly. “Yes.” She almost whispered.

I put the chair down. The only trace of her tears were slightly reddened streaks on her high cheekbones. She was no longer shaking, and was a lot calmer than she had been in the group. I followed her distant gaze to the overcast sky.

And there I waited, watching the sky and watching her. She looked even younger from up close.

“What are you looking at?” I asked in a low tone.

I thought maybe she hadn’t heard me, when she nodded her head forwards and gave a little squeak. I had to strain my ears and read her lips, and even then it took a few seconds to register,

“That’s where I’m going.”

I looked at her, then to the clouds again. “Where?”

“Out there. One day I’m going to fly away from everything.”

I felt my heart sink. She went on staring out, not taking any interest in the world around her that she was forced to inhabit. The nails on both her hands were all chewed to the quick. Her big eyes were shining like lights illuminating deep wells, soaking up whatever they could of the vision she was focusing upon. Whatever it was, seemed to be keeping her sane. Maybe some hope that at another time or another place life wasn’t so shit. Some bastard had really fucked her up.

“Where you going to fly to?” I asked. The words caught in my throat and I needed a second attempt to get them out.

Her face remained completely impassive. Finally, she replied, “Anywhere… Up there with the angels. That’s where I’ll go.”

I sat with her for another ten minutes or so. The thick cloud cover rolled along ever so slowly. The nurses chattering and the TV bargain hunters making the only noises. Everything seemed dreary and hollow. I couldn’t stop fidgeting with my hands and then my feet started too. She kept staring out of that window and I couldn’t stay there any longer. I got up, one of the nurses smiled at me as I walked past her and then the rest of the patients and headed down the corridor. But Jean was inside my room, sweeping and dusting. I spun back and paced the hall again. I didn’t know where to look. What to do. I went back into the common room and sat down a few rows from the front, bouncing my toes as the lunchtime news came on.

“BONG!” the tower clock thundered above the dramatic music. There had been something called a DOUBLE DIP RECESSION and we were all supposed to be very worried about it. The newsman sat before us, staring hard through the screen, glaring devilish eyes at every person in the room and threatening us with market crashes, and pension crisis, and higher interest rates, but really telling us “THIS IS IMPORTANT SO PAY ATTENTION! YOU NEED A FUNCTIONING AND STABLE ECONOMY TO SURVIVE. WITHOUT US TO SORT THIS OUT FOR YOU-YOU ARE ALL FUCKED!!”

I glanced about me. The other patients were just sitting there, barely twitching.

“It’s not good, is it?” one of the two nurses on the front row said in a high-pitched alarm.

“No. I really hope there are no more cuts. We can’t cope with any more.” The other replied.

The first speaker looked back, her eyes seemed to dismiss me, but she lowered her voice slightly anyway, “Seventeen nurses down to nine in the space of two years.”

“I know. We can’t afford to lose anyone else. Any higher doses and we’ll end up-..” the second woman promptly shut up, following the first’s nod towards me. She turned back to her. “You know. Thirty patients to nine staff! What kind of ratio is that?”

“I’m knackered, Sheila. It’s never been as bad as it is now.”

“I know. I know. You go home shattered and you just can’t switch off. It’s constant. I finish at seven, get tea, and am in bed for ten. My daughter is telling me to quit, keeps telling me the stress is going to kill me. I can’t though, I’ve a mortgage to pay.”

“It’s not enough, what we get for what we do. Feed our kids, clothe them, pay the TV license and the phone line and internet, and all the bills. The gas and electric keeps going up, the petrol’s going up, the rent. You can’t do all that on twenty-five grand a year.”

“I know, it’s impossible! I’m thinking of cancelling Florida, just can’t afford it anymore.”

“But you’ve been wanting to go for ages!”

“I know. I shouldn’t have got that laptop for my Katie’s birthday. And Aaron wouldn’t stop whining till he got his Ipad. I don’t know what to do.”

“We’re not going to last long if it stays like this and the inspector comes again. Liz was saying there’s one due next week.”

“Jesus! Next week!”

They brought their heads closer together.

“I know. What do they expect us to do though?”

“What are you two gossiping about?” Sanders chirped loudly from the entrance. She wandered in with a big smile, her blonde hair bouncing, all youth and vitality and good

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