Wicked Whoopie Pies Addison Moore (the false prince series TXT) 📖

as she says it. “And don’t worry about the baby. I have her car seat, stroller, and everything else I need. I’ll probably walk to the lake with her. Wiley is already down there, and it’s such a beautiful day. And yes, I already plan on putting a hat and sunscreen on her. Go on, shoo! Have a good time.”

Everett and I don’t have to be told twice. We’re out the door and he’s already driving us in the direction of Honey Hollow High.

The magical chickens will have to wait for now. But hopefully not long.

The bell rings just as we set foot on campus and Honey Hollow High is officially out for the day.

Honey Hollow High is actually a trio of large white brick buildings set over a rolling green lawn and brick walkways. Dozens of would-be, could-be monster trucks, with wheels as tall as I am, speed out of the parking lot along with other far more down-to-earth vehicles. Although, even those have large fuzzy dice or extravagant crystal pendants hanging from the rearview mirrors.

Up ahead, in the quad, an entire gaggle of kids are milling around, having that last-minute gab session with friends before they’re off for the day. And in the back, speaking with another woman, I spot Clementine Greenbaum in a white blouse and cranberry trousers. Her blonde hair gleams in the sun and her skin glows a warm shade of cinnamon. Around her neck sits a rope chain with a whistle attached, and boy, does that whistle bring back memories here.

“There she is,” I whisper to Everett, and for a minute I get lost in those heady eyes of his, so I hike up on my tiptoes and steal a kiss. “You know, I’ve always wanted to make out with a cute boy on campus.”

“I thought you were dating Bear all through high school? Don’t tell me he wasn’t smart enough to make that happen.”

“Oh, he did—just with other girls.”

His brows twitch. “I’m putting your lips on notice. As soon as we finish up with our suspect, I’m going to have my way with them.” He glances past me and frowns. “You do realize that we need to treat all suspects as if they might be the killer. If we weren’t on school grounds, I would have brought Ethel.”

Ethel is the Glock handgun Everett and Noah teamed up to purchase for me a while back. Suffice it to say, I haven’t seen Ethel much since I’ve had Lyla Nell.

“Don’t worry,” I tell him. “Nothing is going to happen to us on school grounds.”

A swarm of girls appear to our left.

“Is that the hot judge?” one of them shouts.

Hot Judge was one of the hashtags that started some serious chaos in our lives a few months back. Evie is the queen of the Insta Pictures social scene and, well, she’s made Everett, Noah, and me Insta famous as they say.

“It is!” another girl cries.

“Hot Judge!” an entire legion of girls scream just as they bolt this way, and soon we’re engulfed in a cloud of perfume, tight T-shirts, hot pink combat boots, and enough telecommunications technology to commandeer the space station.

I manage to elbow my way out of that tangle of limbs but not without losing just about every whoopie pie in the box I’m holding. There’s just one left.

Perfect. That’s all I need.

I don’t take two steps before Evie and her blond bestie, Dash, pop up before me— both with looks of horror written on their faces.

“What are you doing?” Evie shouts as if I was the one that just accosted two dozen girls with my whoopie pies and not the other way around. “Is that Dad?” Evie shrills in horror. “Oh my freaking stars! You’ve ruined my life!” She stalks off before I can open my mouth.

“And mine!” Dash shouts with just as much vigor before stomping off after her.

“Wonderful,” I huff at the thought.

A spray of blue and green stars erupts, and soon I’ve got a fluffy black and white skunk fanning me with her tail.

“I didn’t miss it, did I, Lottie?” Binky blinks to life in all of her infernal furry glory. “I was at the pizza place with Charlie when I got the feeling my services were needed. And oh, does that girl ever like to spoil me. I’ve already eaten three large pizzas today.”

“Charlie seems to be treating you really well,” I whisper. “Just please assure me she’s not telling anyone else about you.”

“Why, she’s telling everyone. Of course, they think I’m her pet, but they all seem very interested in seeing a skunk up close and in person. Our kind doesn’t appreciate humans taking a gander. We have a special way of dealing with them, you know.”

“I am definitely familiar. And if it makes you feel better, unless they’re supersensual, the people of Honey Hollow can’t really see you.”

“Oh, to be sixteen again.” A woman laughs to my right and I look over to see Clementine heading this way. “I just had to see what the kerfuffle was all about.”

“Well, I wouldn’t want to be sixteen again. That was a rough year for me,” I say and we share a laugh before turning toward the beehive surrounding Everett. “My poor husband is in there somewhere. I hope he’s safe.”

Binky gasps. “Is that Everett? Charlie says she cannot wait to ravage him. I’ve ravaged a few stinkers myself in my day. In fact, Charlie has her sights set on a few men herself. Noah, Everett, Alex, and Manny.”

I don’t doubt that one bit—especially not with Noah and Everett leading the charge. Why does Manny’s name sound familiar?

“I’m sure he can hold his own.” Clementine shakes her head in Everett’s direction. “It’s the peril of having a handsome husband. I know it well.”

I just so happen to know Clementine’s husband Merv. He’s tall, heavy-set—doughy is a nice way to put it—and he’s as charming as they come.

“How is Merv doing these days, anyway?” I ask.

Clementine takes a breath