Raspberry Tart Terror (Murder in the Mix Book 30) Unknown (christmas read aloud .TXT) 📖

“Sounds like a fabulous party featuring all my best assets.” I can’t help but frown at the thought of entertaining a cast of thousands. “But I’m pretty sure I’m not going to have the masses watch as my lady parts morph to the size of a melon. I’m going to be splayed open for everyone to see. I’ll never be able to look anyone in the eye after that. No way. My private zone isn’t up for show and tell. In fact, I don’t even think I want Noah or Everett to witness the main event. I’m going to scar them for life.”

Lainey lifts her shoulders. “Suit yourself. But I’ll be there for sure.”

“You won’t scar me, Lottie.” Noah rubs my back. “I delivered Keelie’s baby. I’ve seen it all already and lived to tell about it.”

“Fine,” I grunt as a familiar woman stalks into the room—thin as a skeleton with bone straight hair to match—and I suck in a quick breath. “It’s Serena Digby,” I hiss.

Both Noah’s mother, Suze, and Serena Digby belong to some ridiculous club called the Magic Mavens of Honey Hollow.

Serena is something akin to a wicked witch who all but put a curse on me way back when. Not that I believed in her curse. Although I’m starting to have a little faith in that Hearst curse. No sooner did I poke my nose where it didn’t belong than both my house and Everett’s burned to the ground. Now that’s a curse who knows how to work its wicked ways.

Serena’s curse was paid for by her old college roomies, Cressida and Cormack, and if I remember correctly, it had something to do with the fact they wanted Noah and Everett for themselves. The curse, or hex as it were, went something like this: you will rue the day you trampled on the hearts of Cormack and Cressida. Everything you love, everything you desire, everything you hope for and dream of, will turn to ashes and soot. May nothing go your way. May the shadow replace the sun. May the winds of fortune hide their face from you. May darkness descend on you this hour, and may it never leave until you surrender all that you stole from my sisters—my being hers.

Other than that, she’s a lovely young lady.

“Oh!” Lainey waves her over. “Here she is! You’re going to love her, Lottie. Serena taught my birthing classes, too.”

Serena heads this way and a malevolent smile crests on her lips.

Serena is beautiful, light green eyes, long glossy hair the color of a raven’s wing. She’s clad in black with the requisite yoga pants and a long-sleeved top that matches. There’s a silver whistle dangling from a chain around her neck, giving off that psychotic gym teacher vibe I’m sure she’s going for—because I’m betting it just so happens to be true on some level.

I know for a fact that Serena is transmundane. A beguiler to be exact. She all but confessed it to me last December. It wasn’t until I observed Serena and Suze in that weird witchy coven of theirs that I realized Suze herself might have some otherworldly powers.

“Well, well.” Serena looks from me to Noah. “If it isn’t Lottie Lemon. Where’s the rest of your reverse harem?”

Lainey leans her way. “Everett was arrested. But I’m sure he’ll be out on bail soon enough.”

“It could take up to a week,” I say, dejected. “But nevertheless, he’ll be here.”

“Oh, that’s right.” Serena shoots those pale green eyes to Noah once again. “I read in the paper about that missing body turning up in your yard. Let me guess. Everett wanted to pin the deed on you in an effort to get you out of her life for good?” A short-lived laugh pumps through her. “He should have just paid me a visit. I certainly could have helped him out with that,” she deadpans as she looks right at me. “All right, everyone, take your places!” she shouts as she all but shoos Noah and me away.

I shrug up at Noah. “How do you like that? She just coolly threatened to end your life in a roundabout way.” A thought comes to me. “Why don’t you go over and find a spot for us,” I say, spinning him toward the crowd. “I’ll be right there.” He takes off, and I head for the wicked witch herself. “Serena”—I pull her to the side and she quickly plucks her wrist out of my grasp—“you have to tell me if Suze Fox is one of us. If she’s transmundane, a beguiler no less, I have every right to know.”

Her lips cinch tightly. “If Suze is one of us, don’t you think it’s her right to tell you herself?”

“And if she doesn’t?”

“Then you’ll have to wait to see if that little whippet you’re knitting in your belly will be capable of anything outside the natural realm. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a class to run.”

Noah and I find an empty mat up front and he helps me down to the floor.

“This was a stupid idea,” I say as I look around at the rest of the class, about a dozen other couples. Each rubber mat is set in a half circle around the bed with plenty of space for Serena and Lainey to sit in front of us on their own mats. The difference being, they won’t need a muscular partner to help them off the floor. “It’s going to take a crane to get me on my feet again.” My legs stretch out before me, and I marvel at the fact I can actually see my shoes. “Hey, speaking of which, I can see my feet!” I give each one a wiggle only to moan once I spot a rather egregious error on my part. “Noah”—his name comes from me in a whine—“why didn’t you tell me I had two different shoes on?”

His head inches forward to get a better