On a Roll Beth Bolden (best book club books for discussion .TXT) 📖

“Do you both still have all your vital organs?” Tony asked, pulling out his phone and turning on the new strand of lights with the Bluetooth adapter he’d installed first. The strand shone brightly, even in the Los Angeles morning sunshine.

Yes, Sean wanted to say, but some of them are feeling mighty unfulfilled right now. But even worse than Tony interfering with the name problem would be Tony interfering with their potential hookup.

“Yeah,” Sean said. “It’s cool.”

“Good,” Tony said, drawing him into a quick side hug. “You know I love both you guys. I want you to stick around.”

“Yeah.” Sean couldn’t imagine going anywhere else. Ever since Milo had died, he’d felt rootless and aimless, but coming to LA and meeting Tony and the other guys had given him a purpose. Given him a home.

As much as he wanted to throttle Gabriel sometimes, he was part of that feeling, and Sean didn’t want to look too closely at how much of it was about Gabe. Why hadn’t he just accepted Sean’s offer and enjoyed a bout of hot, stringless sex before it could mean anything?

“You’re coming tonight, right?” Tony asked, referring to the big party they were throwing for the friends and family of everyone in the lot. When Sean nodded, he added with a sudden sly grin, “Bringing anyone?”

“No,” Sean said. Gabe would be there, of course, and Ren, if he wanted to keep driving Gabriel nuts by flirting with his cousin. Pushing his buttons wasn’t nearly as fun as getting a hand on his dick, but it passed the time.

“You know, you can bring a guy around, if you wanted to,” Tony said. “Even if it’s not a thing. You know, Lucas and I started out pretty casual.”

Sean rolled his eyes. “That’s a lie, and you know it. You and Lucas were gaga for each other from practically the first moment. I saw you two together, remember? Making out outside the Funky Cup? That isn’t ‘just hanging out’ and you know it.”

“Well,” Tony drawled. “He thought it was pretty casual, anyway.”

Sean laughed. “Yeah, okay.”

“The point is, you can bring someone, even if it’s not serious. I know Lucas and I are like couple goals, and Tate has Chase now, but it doesn’t have to be some lifelong commitment for you to bring someone to the party.”

“Yeah,” Sean said. “Well, honestly . . . I think Ren and I might be hooking up, soon.”

Tony’s jaw dropped open. “What?”

“Yeah,” Sean said, suddenly wishing that he hadn’t said anything. He had no intention of actually hooking up with Ren—and he was pretty sure Ren knew it too—but he’d imagined that the first thing Tony would do was run to Gabriel and tell him everything.

“You’re not serious,” Tony said, voice dropping as he took a few steps closer. “You wouldn’t, really?”

“Why shouldn’t I?” Sean said.

“Well, I don’t know, maybe because Gabriel is fucking obsessed with you,” Tony said. “And sleeping with Ren, well, that’s a big fuck you, if you really wanted it to be. But . . .” He hesitated. “I’m not really sure you want it to be.”

Tony was right; he didn’t want it to be. All he’d ever wanted to do was push Gabriel’s buttons, and the Ren thing had worked him up more than he’d been in months.

Actually, Sean realized, that wasn’t true. The thing that had worked him up the most? Those kisses they’d shared.

“Well, suffice it to say, I’m not bringing a date,” Sean said. “If that’s okay with you.”

“Hey,” Tony said, “however you want to run your personal life, fine by me.”

“Good,” Sean said, and watched as Tony grabbed the ladder, but instead of heading off to hang the next strand of lights, walked straight over to Gabriel’s truck.

He sighed. He’d done this—he’d known exactly what Tony was going to do. So why did he feel so guilty about it?

———

Eight hours later, Sean was still feeling guilty—and not happy about his sudden attack of conscience, either.

He hadn’t seen Gabriel all day, and lately, that was unusual. Usually, one of them could manufacture a reason to have to pop over to the other side of the lot. But today? He’d stayed in his own truck, embarrassed and a little ashamed that he’d used Tony like that. Why had he thought that was a good idea? Pushing Gabriel’s buttons had always been a fun way to pass the time. When had he started caring what the fallout was?

He didn’t know, but he cared now.

After the trucks closed—an hour early, for the anniversary celebration—Sean spent all his cleanup time vacillating on whether he should actually go to the party.

Gabriel would be there. And so would Ren.

Two people who’d know, in detail, how Sean kept throwing himself at guys who didn’t really want him.

He sighed, leaning against the counter. He thought it’d be so easy; he knew Gabriel wanted him. He’d known that before Tony had said so. He’d known since they’d kissed.

Nobody could kiss you like that and not want you.

It had been a long time for Sean, but not that long.

He stared out the window at the twinkling lights, the big fire pit that Lucas was building one log at a time, Tony and Jackson standing next to him.

Ash and Tate were lugging in a huge cooler, the one that Tony usually kept his fresh catch in for the most famous fish tacos in the LA area, and laughing—probably at the smell of fish emanating from the plastic.

He really should go. He was part of this. These guys were his family, now, and it would be stupid to stay away for some silly reason like embarrassment.

And if he just happened to proposition Ren—maybe for real this time—then he would. Ren was hot. He didn’t feel the same tingly sensation he had every single time he looked at Gabriel—but that wasn’t required, was it? He was horny, goddamn it, and Ren was right there. And looked enough like Gabriel that . .