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myself in an increasingly bad mood.

Nothing like another break with nowhere to go to do that to a girl.

After the Halloween costume party, I figured that things between Sterling and I are goodā€”not that there really is anything between Sterling and I, but there was a moment there were at least they didnā€™t feel as weird anymore.

But I was wrong, apparently.

Every time Iā€™m around him on campus, he keeps trying to play it cool as though things are fine when, quite clearly, theyā€™re not. I donā€™t expect him to suddenly be some kind of open book with me, but I guess I expected more.

That was my first mistake.

I donā€™t know Sterling well, but I kick myself for thinking, even for a moment, that he wonā€™t revert to his usual tactics. Iā€™ve seen the way he treats girls.

Disposable.

Or, in my case, as if nothing ever happened at all.

In and of itself, this would be fine, except for the fact that most of the time he is very obviously trying to avoid me at all costs. I suddenly find Iā€™m not crossing paths with him while walking across campus anymore or running into him to get coffee at the bookstore. Even in the class buildings and hallways, I barely ever see him.

Itā€™s obvious and intentional, and as much as I keep trying to tell myself that I knew this was coming, I canā€™t stop wondering whatā€™s going on with him. I need to know heā€™s okay, or at least going to be okay.

If that makes me a stupid girl, well then ā€¦ I guess Iā€™m a very stupid girl.

And I hate myself for it more than ever.

I see him a few times during lunch, but everyone else is always around so it makes it impossible to actually talk with him. The gala is scheduled for just a few nights after things resume following Thanksgiving break, and I am honestly not looking forward to it nearly as much as I thought I would be.

Not with the way Sterlingā€™s shoulder slump like heā€™s sulking every time he thinks no one is lookingā€”or how his fake smile turns even more plastic every time his gaze happens to meet mine.

I walk back to my dorm room alone after my last class and think about why Iā€™ve been trying to get close to him to begin with. The whole point was supposed to be to learn more about him and his drug habit ā€¦ to find anything that I could use against him in order to make him feel as miserable as he made me feel last term.

But judging by his turbulent and inconsistent behavior lately, he seems to be doing a good job of making himself feel miserable without any help from me. Iā€™m not sure whether to be worried or upset, or to just go back to not caring and all and trying to figure out how best to bring him to his knees.

I decide that I will give it a bit more thought after my next volunteer shift.

Thatā€™s what I really need.

Space.

ā€œHey, whatā€™s going on?ā€ I ask Warren as I show up for my shift and see that thereā€™s a whole horde of people that arenā€™t normally here.

He just shrugs.

ā€œNo idea, I just got here myself.ā€

ā€œOkay everyone,ā€ the front desk girl says to the crowd that Warren and I seem to be in the midst of. ā€œSo, you are all here to get a ā€˜first tasteā€™ of the volunteering that you will be required to do when you become enrolled next semester. Well, except for Aubrey and Warren. You guys already are enrolled here. Which is why the two of you will be the trainers for our upcoming new students.ā€

ā€œWait, what?ā€ I ask.

She gives me a scowl for questioning her authority in front of everyone. I thought that she and I had a mutual understanding, but apparently, I overestimated our acquaintanceship.

ā€œToday,ā€ she says as she directs her statement right toward me now. ā€œYou and Warren will train the rest of these guys how to do your volunteering jobs.ā€

ā€œDoes that mean that once theyā€™re trained, we can leave, and theyā€™ll do the rest of our volunteering hours for us?ā€ Warren says sarcastically.

I snicker and she looks at me as if I have suddenly switched teams in the game.

ā€œNo, it means that you have extra work for todayā€™s shift,ā€ she answers punitively. ā€œFirst, train the newbies, and then do your regular tasks.ā€

ā€œBut that is going to take us longer than the time we have allotted to our shifts,ā€ I complain, glancing over my shoulder at the grounds outside the window.

ā€œThen you can stay late tonight,ā€ she says before turning to walk away.

Grossly underestimated our acquaintanceship.

I sigh and think about tomorrowā€™s exam that I still need to study for, and how this girlā€™s foul mood is going to end up costing me a grade. Warren and I look around at the others, thereā€™s at least a half dozen of them. We decide to split the group and each take half of them, but we also decide to do the training together so that hopefully it will go faster.

For an assignment thatā€™s literally just cleaning up the administrative building, Iā€™m surprised by how much we end up having to cover. I hadnā€™t realized until now just how much Warren and I have been doing.

It actually makes me miss my once-a-week volunteering session at the retirement home. At least there I got to talk. Here, itā€™s all floor polish, fumes, and rubber gloves.

About halfway through the training, some of the prospective new enrollees seem to be getting their bearings and are able to start doing some of the menial tasks on their own, which Warren and I gladly let them do because it will lessen our load for the night. A couple of them still donā€™t seem to get what it is that theyā€™re supposed to be doing though. They donā€™t seem all that bright if you ask meā€”but then again, most of the students here are the type

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